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Teacher had sex with student's parent?

Discussion in 'Termination: Firing & Resignation' started by Teacher72481, Feb 9, 2017.

  1. Teacher72481

    Teacher72481 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I am a 3rd year physical education teacher in a remote town (less than 3,000 residents) with approximately 325 students. During my 1st year at this job, I met a woman that was not wearing a ring. After having sex with this woman, I found out that she is married and is the mother of two of my students. Shortly after, I wasn't sure what to do and was careful not to make her upset thinking that she might try to bring this up to my employer. When she was mad at me in the past, she told me that she had forwarded all of our texting back and forth to her email. For the past two years I have been able to avoid her for the most part and from time to time she tries to say she misses me and asks how I am doing. Usually, I won't respond or if I do it's with very general replies. Today, her kid got in trouble while I was supervising recess duty. Apparently, he often gets into fights and can't keep his hands to himself for other teachers. At the end of the day, I got a text from her saying that her and her husband will be meeting with me and the principal next week when her husband can get off work. She didn't say why we were going to meet and at the end of the day when I walked by my principal he sort of didn't look happy when I said how nice the weather was outside. If I am asked tomorrow about what happened what do I say? Is there grounds for getting fired for this mistake? What if my principal asks if I had sex with her? What do I say? Please help! I am not in a union.
     
  2. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    You're kidding, right?

    OF COURSE you can be fired for this! Even if you were in a union I doubt if that would save you.

    What do you mean, what should you say? You're not imagining we would tell you to lie about it, are you?
     
  3. Teacher72481

    Teacher72481 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    So how should I go about this hoping to not get fired?
     
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    No one can tell you WHAT to say.
    You can always say, "I will stand on my right not to incriminate myself, and remain silent."

    You might simply say, "I have no idea what any of this is about."

    You could stare blankly at the wall, and simply begin to mumble unintelligible gibberish.

    You could resign, and seek employment elsewhere, avoiding hopefully, a nasty scene.
     
  5. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    I don't see grounds for termination, but they may not need much depending on your status.
    If this all took place away from work and you ended it once the truth was known I expect you would be fine.
    I recommend you not say anything about it unless asked. If asked, you apparently dated briefly, found out she lied abou her marriage status, and you promptly ended the relationship. Keep it simple.
     
  6. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Many, many years in a school system here. It is very unlikely you will be fired for having an affair with a student's parent. It is far from uncommon, especially in a very small town like yours. Yes, legally they could fire you because there isn't a law that says they can not, but the odds are against it. My district was a LOT bigger than yours and yes, this happened. We'd try to keep the kid from having a parent or parent's SO teach their class, but sometimes it is unavoidable. Far from ideal, but it happens. I know of no administrator who wants to know or cares to know, about the bedroom habits of their employees. If for some odd reason it does come up, stick with the truth. It was 2 years ago, a one time thing, and you didn't know who she was, and once you did you ended it.

    Ideally, you shouldn't jumped into bed with someone you knew so little about. Once you found out it was the mother of a student, you should have politely explained that you do not get involved with the parents of your students and anytime after that she contacted you about anything other than her children, repeat the same.

    If you have only heard from her that you are to be in some meeting, disregard it until you hear from your principal. I don't imagine she will admit infidelity in said meeting if it does occur, and I would not bring it up. Focus on what Junior did wrong and only that.
     

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