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Step parent adoption

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by ASouto, Mar 13, 2019.

  1. ASouto

    ASouto Law Topic Starter New Member

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    My situation is a bit complicated but im trying to sort things out before my child is born. The biological father knows that I am pregnant and that he is the father but he wants nothing to do with me or the child and has made this obvious. He changed his phone number moved out of town and hasnt changed his mailing address. I tried contacting his family to try and get things done legally (have him sign away his rights) but his family refuses to do anything but name call and threaten to call the police because I called their house phone twice (they only answered the second time).

    However I am in an extremely healthy relationship with my new partner and we are wanting him to be able to legally adopt my dsughter when she is born. If I can't contact the father (its been over 5 months) I cant have him legally sogn away his rights so I don't know if there is a way around having him present. How long does he have to be "MIA" to have it fall under abandonment of the child and do I have to be married to my partner before he can adopt my daughter legally? Or are there other options since the father has made it very obvious he wants no part of her (the child's) life?
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Don't waste your time, it is nearly impossible for a person to sign away their obligation to be a parent and support the child they created with another person.

    That said, if you don't want Lazy Louie to be the baby's father all you have to say when asked at the hospital is that you don't know who the father of the child could be.

    If things are as you say, Lazy Louie won't suddenly get a change of heart and demand to be named as the father.


    You could simply name Mister Wonderful as the father of your child.

    Again, I don't see Lazy Louie barging in and saying, "No, that's my baby."

    Unless you do genetic testing no one can say with LEGAL certainty who fathered the child.

    The only exception to that is if you deliver a baby while married to a man.
    The man to whom you are married when you drop the little critter is LEGALLY the father of the child.

    We now circle back to Mister Wonderful.

    If you and Mister Wonderful get married tomorrow, and the baby is born the following week, Mister Wonderful is the LEGAL father of the child.

    Ask Mister Wonderful to marry you, and he becomes the legal father when the blessed event occurs.

    You'll also see if Mister Wonderful is actually WONDERFUL or just another male liar!
     
    leslie82 likes this.
  3. Tax Counsel

    Tax Counsel Active Member

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    Since you are not married to bio dad he won't have any rights or responsibilities for the child until his paternity is established. In Texas, like in most other states, there are basically two ways that paternity would be established: (1) the two parents voluntarily execute an affidavit of paternity (AOP) or (2) a court makes a determination of paternity.

    If bio dad has no interest in the kid, then he'd not likely do the AOP even if you asked, and you don't have to ask him to do it anyway. And he'd certainly not sue for paternity. So you could simply leave him out of the picture and until such time as he seeks paternity he'd have no rights to do anything regarding the child. He'd also, of course, have no obligation to pay child support, either. And since there is no determination of paternity for him, there is no need to do anything to terminate his parental rights.

    Before your new partner would even have a shot at adoption you really do need to be married, and it's a good idea that you be married for at least a little awhile to ensure the relationship will last and that you really want him as the official dad to the child before thinking about adoption. At that point you can always talk to a family law attorney about pursuing adoption once you are both sure that's what you want.

    While Army Judge is correct that you and your new partner are married when the child is born he will be presumed the legal father of the child, I'd not rush into a wedding just for that. As long as bio dad is out of the picture the new guy can fill the function of being dad for the kid without some legal paper calling him the kid's father.

    In short, in this situation, you likely don't need to do anything right now. If and when bio dad tries to seek paternity (and he might never do that) then you'd want to see a family law attorney about that.
     
  4. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    Actually, he has no way of knowing whether or not he's the father. You might know that he's the father -- if this man was your only sexual partner around the time of conception -- but he has no way of truly knowing that.

    There is no way for him to "sign away his rights." For starters, no man has any rights regarding your unborn child until the child is born and paternity is established.

    This guy wants to adopt the unborn child of a woman with whom he's been in a relationship for less than a year? Really? And yes, I'm making an assumption that your relationship with this guy didn't start until after you got knocked up by the other guy.

    I can't speak intelligently about the judges in your unknown location in Texas, but the answer to this question is very likely yes. At a minimum, your relationship with this guy will have to have existed for a sufficiently significant time that the court believes he's not just a flash in the pan.

    Sure. You can do absolutely nothing. If neither you nor the alleged father seek to establish paternity, then it will never happen and he'll never have any rights regarding the child. You and your current boyfriend can raise the child together. If you end up married, then consult with a local attorney about a stepparent adoption. Note, however, that if you seek public assistance for the child, you'll be required to identify the father or any man whom you suspect might be the father, and the state will seek to establish paternity and obtain child support.
     
  5. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    Yes you have to be married for a stepparent to adopt - I think most states it's usually at least six months.

    If you're not married to the sperm donor, he has no rights unless he establishes his paternity in court. If he is absentee and has run off, when the child is born just put unknown for the father. Then you don't even have to worry about him establishing his rights just to relinquish them. And he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with the kid so just forget it and if you think this guy you're with is a suitable partner and father, then after you've been married, you can seek a stepparent adoption. Or if you're married before the child is born, in most states the husband is the presumed father...But - you might wanna make sure this is right for you and your child. But right now that sperm donor doesn't have any parental rights and won't when the kid is born unless he establishes them.
     
  6. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    You have been given lots of info all Very useful. He cannot adopt unless your married. REAL Father has no rights unless court gives them to him. If you want your current partner to be a "Father figure" and help you raise child thats up to you.and him. However if you have your current love interest "play Dad" and relationship ends you created a whole new problem. I dont mean a legal one! My advice is if this man wants to help you with child fine but I would not let him claim or pretend to be Dad unless you two marry. Since child is young I am guessing you and this new man have not been seeing each other that long. dont make same mistake again. Have your child do whats needed to care for the child with or without new loves help. Your child doesnt know he/she doesnt have a Father and doesnt need to know for several years. No need to rush this. I will add this though if you seek ANY State or Federal aid they will want to know who Father is so they can get repaid by him. When and if this happens visitation, custody and, support become issues for you to deal with. Let me close by saying I a part of a "Parenting" forum you can talk to other parents there over your NON legal issues. Its hosted by this site (thelaw.com) There you can find other parents who may have had similar situations and find out what they did.

    Parent Nook Forums - Index page
     
  7. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    She hasn't even given birth yet...and if she gets any state aid, all she has to do is say she doesn't know who the father is. Especially if she put nothing on the birth certificate. And if she marries this guy before she gives birth, he's going to be the presumed father anyway.
     

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