Step Father Rights vs. Biological Father Rights

Status
Not open for further replies.
R

rcsmaha

New Member
I got married to my wife almost 2 years ago. I was living in a different state at the time, and she was in California. My wife had two beautiful children in her previous marriage and their father was a selective participant in their lives. When we decided we were going to move, their father did not want to allow them to move. After court issues, he decided to sign all of his legal rights away. Although we encourage our kids, or my step kids, to have a relationship with their father, he still insists on having control. Recently, we sent our kids to California to visit with friends and family for the summer. We notarized a letter stating that while they were down in California, their Godparents (non biological) would have guardianship, and make the decisions. When our son (my stepson) said he wanted to see his Father, it was no big deal. Now that he is physically with his Father, his Father has decided that he will determine the rest of our sons summer plans according to his schedule. With that said, we had already made plans with the kids Godparents to do some activities, however, his Father is making different plans unbeknownst to us. What can I do as a step parent if anything? Can we have the kids Godparents go pick him up without the biological Fathers knowledge? Can I go get him legally? Again, the biological Father has signed all parental rights away with court documents to prove it. I was really hoping not to get any police involved if at all possible as my step son is only 9 years old, and I really don't want the situation to turn into a horrible memory. What can I, or my wife do to get our son back without making this a bigger deal than needs to be. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
 
The godparents have no rights whatsoever, ever, at all. Even if.

Now, dad may have signed over custody, but he didn't terminate his parental rights. That means that if he decides to keep the boy, your wife is going to have go back to court.

A notarized letter is worth nothing, and you have the same rights as the godparents - none, I'm afraid.

I STRONGLY advise you to discourage the notion of having the godparents sneak in and get the kids - in fact, I'm sorry but I can't think of a worse idea.

And please don't take this bit personally, okay? But legally, this is not your son. Given Dad's alleged propensity for not exactly playing nicely, the last thing you want is him running straight to court claiming that you and Mom are alienating his child from him.

The police won't do anything at the moment....but if you have someone pick up the child without Dad knowing, they can certainly get involved afterwards. On his side.
 
OP, do your wife and the father of the children have a court order decreeing a visitation schedule, custody arrangements, holiday schedule, etc..?

If not, you might wish to discuss the entire situation with your wife. Ask her what she suggests.

In the next two or three weeks should visit with a lawyer in Utah (as it appears Utah court's have jurisdiction now) and seek a valid court order decreeing under what rules she, the kids' dad, and the kids will live under.

I am reluctant to say it, but this thing could be hurtling off a cliff soon. As Pro indicated, notarized letters have no force of law.
 
Many people make wrong assumption when it comes to notarized documents. As stated it carries no force of law unless a Judge decrees so. Having something notarized only means that a notary is verifying that the signature on document is the actual person. Outside of that its meaningless
 
Agreed. As a former notary, I can confirm that with limited exceptions that do not apply here, if a document is legally enforceable it's enforceable whether it is notarized or not. If it's not enforceable a notary's seal does not make it so.
 
I'm still having trouble with the godparent idea.

May I explain further?

The godparents have as many rights to these children as every one who has answered the post. None. Zero. The child is currently with his legal father - as far as Dad is concerned, two people just turned up and kidnapped HIS child!!!! We're not talking a trivial matter here - we're talking about 2 people who have no rights at all picking up a child and taking the child across state lines.

We are not talking misdemeanor.

We are not even talking fines and an overnight in the local jail.

We are talking FELONY.

Now, don't get me wrong. I AM a stepparent. So is at least one other responder. We know the routine. We get it. But this is singly the most horrendous idea I've seen in a long, long time.

(Actually the only thing I can recall offhand would be a situation on a different message board, where the LEGAL FATHER ended up being charged and convicted after taking HIS OWN child in the middle of the night - now if he's facing that, what do you think is going to happen with two people who are "legal strangers"?)

Because they were married, Dad has more "rights" than if they hadn't been married. Technically yes, he can't keep the kids against Mom's wishes because there's no court order. But that's as far as it goes - he hasn't committed any crime. Now can family court penalize him? Oh yes, yes indeed. But even though there's no court order, he's still not breaking any laws.

Please, please, throw that idea down the toilet and flush it 3 times to make sure it's gone forever.
 
Proserpina said:
I'm still having trouble with the godparent idea.

May I explain further?

The godparents have as many rights to these children as every one who has answered the post. None. Zero. The child is currently with his legal father - as far as Dad is concerned, two people just turned up and kidnapped HIS child!!!! We're not talking a trivial matter here - we're talking about 2 people who have no rights at all picking up a child and taking the child across state lines.

We are not talking misdemeanor.

We are not even talking fines and an overnight in the local jail.

We are talking FELONY.

Now, don't get me wrong. I AM a stepparent. So is at least one other responder. We know the routine. We get it. But this is singly the most horrendous idea I've seen in a long, long time.

(Actually the only thing I can recall offhand would be a situation on a different message board, where the LEGAL FATHER ended up being charged and convicted after taking HIS OWN child in the middle of the night - now if he's facing that, what do you think is going to happen with two people who are "legal strangers"?)

Because they were married, Dad has more "rights" than if they hadn't been married. Technically yes, he can't keep the kids against Mom's wishes because there's no court order. But that's as far as it goes - he hasn't committed any crime. Now can family court penalize him? Oh yes, yes indeed. But even though there's no court order, he's still not breaking any laws.

Please, please, throw that idea down the toilet and flush it 3 times to make sure it's gone forever.
Click to expand...

I have met people who place great significance on being a "godparent".

In the discussions I've had with some, they see a "godparent" as someone in a covenant with and before their Deity.

Some "gadparents", one of my sisters is one, is a "godparent".
She reports the same feeling as a "godparent".

I don't see it that clearly, but I do understand and respect how they could feel that way.
Feelings aside, I concur with what most have said on this thread.
Just my feeble attempt to put clarity around the fog.
 
There's no fog.

Godparent is a religious designation - it has nothing to do with legalities.

(I gave up being Godparent to my multitude of nieces and nephews when the numbers started to rise astronomically ;) )
 
As Prop states being a GodParent is a faith based position and has no legal connections or implied contracts and/or obligations
 
A Godparent is at the baptism of the child & generally just serves as a "mentor" to the child. (no type of legal connection/responsibility)
 
Yes, WE know that there is nothing legal (insofar as being a parent if one is a godparent), but SOME religions believe it to be of far more significance because of their religious beliefs than it actually is.
 
That part is true..............
 
No disagreement here, either.

In fact - and I don't actually say this much online because it has absolutely no bearing on the legal reality - I'm a huge proponent of "it takes a village". We've become so embroiled in our own rights and self-importance that sometimes I cannot help but wonder what good is actually going to come of it all.

My sister was born on the couch in my Gran's living room. I wasn't born yet, and the others were toddlers - but they were just coming and going, playing down the street at the little village swings-and-roundabout. Everybody knew everybody and even when neighbours fought, it was very quickly forgotten if someone needed help.

And I'm just 40. Everybody pitched in, and to be honest we didn't need for anyone to tell us what our business was or wasn't.

Y'know?

/end oversharing :)
 
I agree, Pro. Kids used to get angry, argue, settle their differences and move on. Parents rarely got involved because we'd fix our own messes. Today, things are crazy. There used to be order and reason all over this planet. Occasionally some bully or tyrant woud appear, countries worked together to eradicate that cancer before others were impacted.

I just don't know anymore. Life just ain't much fun as it once was. :(
 
We've all become much too fixated on our individual rights and to heck with anyone else's. As a nation, we're great on disasters; we can come together and send aid for a flood or an earthquake...or a bombing...within hours of the happening.

But for anything less than that, it's all about MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
 
Seeing how things already are now, you wonder what the future is going to be like.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top