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Step dad wants to adopt my children

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by Kristieashg, Jul 9, 2017.

  1. Kristieashg

    Kristieashg Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    Any advice that can point me in the right direction would be great. I will first tell you what I am wanting to do and then give you a back story.
    I have three children: McCenna (7yrs), Jay (5yrs) and Adam (4 months). All three children have different biological fathers. I am wanting to terminate McCenna and Jay's fathers parental rights so that their step dad (Adam's father) can adopt them.
    I will start with McCenna's story. Her father's name is Joe. Joe and I were together off and on for about 2 years. Since we have split up for good he has had minimal contact with McCenna by his own choice. His last contact with her was last year, a week after her birthday. She actually called him on her birthday and got sent to voicemail. A week later she heard back from him and with tears in her eyes expressed how mad and sad she was that she didn't get " happy birthday" from her father. He has not contacted me or her since.
    Jay's father's name is Brandon. He has had no contact with Jay at all. I tried to get him invovled but he wants nothing to do with Jay. I actually have messages that state he wants to terminate his rights and has asked me how to do it multiple times.
    Here is where it starts to get tricky for me. We moved from Iowa to Ohio in 2015. I informed both fathers and they did not contest our move.
    Is jurisdiction in Ohio because that is were my children live? Or is it in Iowa because that is their birth place? Also, I don't have an address for either Joe or Brandon, will they still terminate rights even if they can't find them to let them know? Will a judge terminate the rights of Joe and Brandon so that Jesse ( Adam's father and my soon to be husband) can adopt them based on the fact that they have not even tried to contact Cenna or Jay in almost a year? Is that considered abandonment?
     
  2. Disabled Vet

    Disabled Vet Active Member

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    Sure... Children are like cattle. You take them to the auction and the highest bidder gets them. It's that simple when you're playing with another human life.

    You will need to contact a lawyer for this issue. It's not just walk into court saying someone else wishes to adopt the children. There are a lot of steps that need to be taken. There is always to sides to the story for sure.

    Contact a lawyer in Iowa where the children fathers live. Contact a lawyer in Ohio where you live now. Money shouldn't be a issue as Jay will be able to help pay for this as he is going to be paying for 2 more children in the future. Good Luck
     
    leslie82 likes this.
  3. Kristieashg

    Kristieashg Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jesse is the one wanting to adopt my oldest two children. Money is not the issue as Jesse has been paying for them since August of 2016 when I was placed on bed rest during my pregnancy with Adam and am still on maternity leave. I would also like to add that child support for McCenna has not been paid in almost 3 years and child support for Jay has not been paid since it was set up.
    I asked about knowing their address because I don't think it would be fair to terminate rights without them knowing so they could contest it if they wanted to because like you said there areally two sides to every story. I know that all to well. My mother kept me away from my father for 13 years because he refused to go to church.
    I'm telling you that I have proof of the fact that Jay's father wants to terminate his rights and you are telling me that I'm playing with his life. You are acting as if I am the one doing my child wrong by wanting to give him stability and love by a man who has stepped up to be his dad when his biological father wants nothing to do with him. I'm sorry if it comes off as mean.
     
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Terminating parental rights is something reserved solely for the states.

    Parental rights are rarely terminated, and when it happens, it isn't because a male or women wishes to extinguish any parental obligation. It's done after the parent commits some heinous crime against the child. Failing to visit a child doesn't normally qualify as a heinous crime.

    As suggested, hire a lawyer in the states where the alleged fathers reside to investigate, perhaps initiate, the effort.

    Get your loot ready, somewhere around $35,000 to $50,000, give or take.

    You'll also need to be patient, as in years, which might be useless.
     
  5. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Not gonna happen without the consent of the two other fathers.
     
  6. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    Certainly not going to happen until she's married to her current boyfriend and stays married for a couple of years.
     
    leslie82 likes this.
  7. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    Unless all the fathers relinquish their rights and agree to the adoption it's not going to happen. You need to contact an adoption lawyer in your area. Some give free consultations.

    No judge is going to terminate any parent's rights in an adoption case unless they have agreed to it.

    No not contacting them for a year is not abandonment. Have they been paying child support?
     
  8. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    You won't get their rights terminated without their permission. So get that out of your head. As has been stated you - need - a lawyer. One that specializes in adoptions. You can't just walk into a courthouse and say "I want my husband to adopt my kids." So look up lawyers. Find those who do free consultations.
     
  9. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    Wait...you're not married to this Jesse guy yet? He can't adopt your kids at all until he IS your husband. He's not their stepfather yet - so until you guys get married you can't do anything legally anyway.
     
    hrforme likes this.
  10. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    SMH...

    Jurisdiction over what?

    For starters - and you're not going to like this - you don't exactly have a great track record here. In the span of less than seven years, you had three different kids with three different men - the first two within two years of each other. That doesn't reflect well on you, and yes, that's legally relevant.

    You didn't indicate what efforts, if any, you made to establish Joe and Brandon's paternity or to obtain child support orders against them. You also didn't tell us how long you and the latest baby daddy have been together, but it doesn't appear you're married, and your track record indicates he might not be around much longer.

    With all that being said, the chances that Jesse will be allowed to adopt the two oldest kids are slim to none given that the two of you apparently haven't even committed to each other by getting married. While I can't speak with specificity about Ohio, it is unlikely that a court would even consider an adoption until you two have been married at least a year, but you should seek advice from an attorney in Ohio who handles adoption matters.

    As far as terminating Joe's and Brandon's parental rights, the first thing to do would be to ask if they will consent to the adoptions. If they consent, then there would be no need to seek involuntary termination. Contrary to what's indicated in some prior responses, involuntary termination for "abandonment" can be accomplished in connection with an adoption. Based on the facts mentioned, involuntary termination of the middle child's father's rights seems reasonably likely. In any event, you will have to make significant efforts to track them both down so that they can be served with the relevant paperwork. I agree that the starting point is to consult with a local attorney.
     

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