feelinghopeless
New Member
Here is my issue.... I married a man who divorced his blind wife. Now, the back story: When my husband first met and married his ex she had a degenerative eye disease that she was born with, she had some sight. She attended a very prominent University and received her Bachelors degree in Elementary Education going on to persue her Masters. She tought for 2 years (without an assistant) and then became pregnant with their first child. They had martial issues during the first year of their marriage already seeking counseling. Upon the birth of the child they decided she would stay home and take care of the family. My husband, being a Christian man didn't believe in divorce so he tried to make the marriage work. He was berated, ridiculed, and emotional abused for the course of their marriange. After being married 10 years and having 3 children by this time (2 unplanned) he was unable to live any more and filed for divorce. He had no self worth, no self esteem, barely able to get out of bed just to be yelled at for just existing, all he was, was a paycheck to her.
The court awarded her custody of the children, the family home and all equity, all money in banking accounts, all of the home contents, most of the investments (the few remaining had to be put in childrens name), half of his retirement accounts, and none of the family debt. Upon paying child support which is fully ok with him and is always current, he is also to pay 100% of the medical for the children, and has to pay $2000 monthly for maintenance for her to continue to live which is permanant. After all he has to pay to her, he is left with $500 a month to live on. Now we are married I support our household and any of the other needs of the children if they arrise. We have them 2 days a week and every other weekend by the grace of God. My husband fought for custody and just received visitation. All of the children are in school so there is no reason for her not to go back to work, but she refuses. She doesn't like being treated with a disablity but uses this excuse as to why she won't work. The state provides and assistant to a blind teacher in Illinois. She refuses help, refuses to use a cane, refuses a dog. Should we be burdened for the rest of our lives because a college graduate will not help support herself and children regarless of being blind? We have NO problems taking care of the children and paying support but is it right to pay alimony for LIFE after only being married for 10 years? She has a degree, he doesn't.
The court awarded her custody of the children, the family home and all equity, all money in banking accounts, all of the home contents, most of the investments (the few remaining had to be put in childrens name), half of his retirement accounts, and none of the family debt. Upon paying child support which is fully ok with him and is always current, he is also to pay 100% of the medical for the children, and has to pay $2000 monthly for maintenance for her to continue to live which is permanant. After all he has to pay to her, he is left with $500 a month to live on. Now we are married I support our household and any of the other needs of the children if they arrise. We have them 2 days a week and every other weekend by the grace of God. My husband fought for custody and just received visitation. All of the children are in school so there is no reason for her not to go back to work, but she refuses. She doesn't like being treated with a disablity but uses this excuse as to why she won't work. The state provides and assistant to a blind teacher in Illinois. She refuses help, refuses to use a cane, refuses a dog. Should we be burdened for the rest of our lives because a college graduate will not help support herself and children regarless of being blind? We have NO problems taking care of the children and paying support but is it right to pay alimony for LIFE after only being married for 10 years? She has a degree, he doesn't.
