Son in Law

You would think wrong. You really need to perform a completely honest evaluation of your relationship with your wife.

 

You have two problems here.

From a legal standpoint, your SiL could be considered a tenant with all the rights and protections of a tenant. And simply locking him out would be illegal.

The other is a marital issue. What makes you think for a second that a spouse that isn't willing to let you kick her son out would allow you to keep him out without triggering the same reaction that kicking him out would trigger?

You have allowed yourself to be in a situation where you have no power over your home or those in it. You only have power over one thing, yourself. There are ways to use that limited power to deal with the issue.

 

From a legal standpoint you have all the means the law provides to remove him. Yes its likely you would need your spouses consent. This is not your problem! Your issue is with your wife. You need to sit down with her and have an adult conversation. If she will not or cannot do that them perhaps you need to reevaluate your marriage.

 

I had the same issue with my ex-wife years ago with her son. It destroyed our marriage.

About the only way you get him out (if she doesn't agree) is to take out a restraining order and the police will remove him from the home. You will, of course, need grounds. Is he a drug addict? A criminal? Is he violent? Do you fear for your safety?

Understand that if you are successful at putting him out, your marriage is probably over. He's her kid for life. You're only her husband and expendable.
Yeah, that's how it works.

 

Translation: you and your wife may be headed for divorce.

No. If your wife allows him to live there, then you can't prevent it (just as, if you wanted someone to live there, she could not prevent it).

 

I'm really not trying to be flippant when I say this. Start discussing divorce with your wife. Feeling as you have no power in your own home will be an unhealthy drag on not just your health but your soul.

 

That's a huge leap. If the court grants you the house in the divorce, then you can kick him (and her) out.

 

I'm gonna sneak in a correction here: Your wife's son is your stepson, not you son in law.

 

My husband makes that mistake all the time and it drives me crazy!

 

Have you talked to your wife? Maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship...the only way you get away from him, it sounds like, is get away from her too. If she's going to enable him...or you talk to her and tell her she's enabling him and try to get him out that way.

 

Yes, the children of a second spouse are referred to as stepson or stepdaughter.

However, some people dislike those monikers.

Instead of referring to you as a step-dad, some might say, "He's my mother's fifth husband."

I've also heard the term "mom's new husband".

The children of your 3rd wife might call you Tom, and expect you to refer to them as Bucky or Meagan.

Marriages that exclude one of the parents of the former couple's children receive some disturbing commentary and distressing behaviors.

 

Some might even say: "Unfortunately, she's the person my dad married."