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Son in Law

Discussion in 'Other Family Law Matters' started by Harryhelp, Jun 12, 2020.

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  1. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    Hi. I hope someone can advise. I will keep this short. My wifes son moved in with us a year ago and has caused me dreadful turmoil. I have never felt so stressed. My wife enables him so there is no chance of her listening to my pain. She simply does not hear what I say. I found on the net that the only way it seems he can be put out is if we both agree to it. I do not see that happening. So my question is; If he ever does leave is there anything I can do to keep him out? I would like to think if it takes two to agree to get him out that it should take two to agree to let him back in. Thanks for any help forthcoming.
     
  2. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    You would think wrong. You really need to perform a completely honest evaluation of your relationship with your wife.
     
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  3. PayrollHRGuy

    PayrollHRGuy Well-Known Member

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    You have two problems here.

    From a legal standpoint, your SiL could be considered a tenant with all the rights and protections of a tenant. And simply locking him out would be illegal.

    The other is a marital issue. What makes you think for a second that a spouse that isn't willing to let you kick her son out would allow you to keep him out without triggering the same reaction that kicking him out would trigger?

    You have allowed yourself to be in a situation where you have no power over your home or those in it. You only have power over one thing, yourself. There are ways to use that limited power to deal with the issue.
     
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  4. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    From a legal standpoint you have all the means the law provides to remove him. Yes its likely you would need your spouses consent. This is not your problem! Your issue is with your wife. You need to sit down with her and have an adult conversation. If she will not or cannot do that them perhaps you need to reevaluate your marriage.
     
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  5. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    I had the same issue with my ex-wife years ago with her son. It destroyed our marriage.

    About the only way you get him out (if she doesn't agree) is to take out a restraining order and the police will remove him from the home. You will, of course, need grounds. Is he a drug addict? A criminal? Is he violent? Do you fear for your safety?

    Understand that if you are successful at putting him out, your marriage is probably over. He's her kid for life. You're only her husband and expendable.
    Yeah, that's how it works.
     
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  6. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    Translation: you and your wife may be headed for divorce.

    No. If your wife allows him to live there, then you can't prevent it (just as, if you wanted someone to live there, she could not prevent it).
     
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  7. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you Sir for taking the time to reply.
     
  8. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you for you reply. You summed it up perfectly. I have no power in my own home. I must admit I did try to prevent this happening but I was lied to. It’s hard to believe that the house that’s in my name has been taken over and it’s up to me to leave everything I worked for.
    Can I ask what my limited power is?
     
  9. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Great advice Sir. I appreciate your wise words. It really looks like I have to finish the marriage. It’s a pity as I really cared for her. As for discussing I have realized I am second place to her son. She does not hear my pain.
     
  10. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I am ONLY her husband. Sadly you are correct. I am second place to him. Looks like the only option is to leave. He does nothing and wins the house that I worked 30 years to get. Nice move SIL and wife! Thank you for your help Sir!
     
  11. PayrollHRGuy

    PayrollHRGuy Well-Known Member

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    I'm really not trying to be flippant when I say this. Start discussing divorce with your wife. Feeling as you have no power in your own home will be an unhealthy drag on not just your health but your soul.
     
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  12. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    That's a huge leap. If the court grants you the house in the divorce, then you can kick him (and her) out.
     
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  13. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    I'm gonna sneak in a correction here: Your wife's son is your stepson, not you son in law.
     
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  14. cynthiag

    cynthiag Active Member

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    My husband makes that mistake all the time and it drives me crazy!
     
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  15. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    Have you talked to your wife? Maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship...the only way you get away from him, it sounds like, is get away from her too. If she's going to enable him...or you talk to her and tell her she's enabling him and try to get him out that way.
     
  16. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I appreciate your advice. You might be right.
     
  17. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thanks for pointing that out. I never knew that. Knowing that fact helps when I research.
     
  18. Harryhelp

    Harryhelp Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I never realized that. I never stop learning!
     
  19. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Yes, the children of a second spouse are referred to as stepson or stepdaughter.

    However, some people dislike those monikers.

    Instead of referring to you as a step-dad, some might say, "He's my mother's fifth husband."

    I've also heard the term "mom's new husband".

    The children of your 3rd wife might call you Tom, and expect you to refer to them as Bucky or Meagan.

    Marriages that exclude one of the parents of the former couple's children receive some disturbing commentary and distressing behaviors.
     
  20. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    Some might even say: "Unfortunately, she's the person my dad married."
     
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