social services contacting my kids at school......

M

mrplumber85

New Member
Ok so my wife is always running late taking the kids to school and today a social worker came up to her. The social worker told my wife who she was and began to ask her questions as to why the kids are late? My wife simply told the social worker that her and I both work and we stay really busy. The social worker began to ask her all kinds of questions and my wife kindly told her that was not any of her business. The social worker kept talking and informed my wife that she had spoken to our kids about this same thing weeks before and she did not tell them that she was a social work in order not to spoke them. My wife and I where never contacted about this and only became informed about it today. My question is what are my rights as a parent to keep this from happening again?
 
mrplumber85 said:
Ok so my wife is always running late taking the kids to school and today a social worker came up to her. The social worker told my wife who she was and began to ask her questions as to why the kids are late? My wife simply told the social worker that her and I both work and we stay really busy. The social worker began to ask her all kinds of questions and my wife kindly told her that was not any of her business. The social worker kept talking and informed my wife that she had spoken to our kids about this same thing weeks before and she did not tell them that she was a social work in order not to spoke them. My wife and I where never contacted about this and only became informed about it today. My question is what are my rights as a parent to keep this from happening again?
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This isn't about your parental rights, per se. If at school, the school is acting in loco parentis anyway. You can still protect your children by making sure they are never to speak with the police, or any other authority figure unless mom or dad are present. Its about you instructing your children to always, politely decline to speak with strangers, authority figures, police agents, or any adult; and if approached for such conversations and after declining, to immediately contact mom and dad.

You instruct your children that if anyone asks them questions, or wishes to talk to them, they are to say, "Sorry, but my parents have told me not to talk to strangers, and if a stranger ever approached me to talk with me, I am to politely refuse. Therefore, I must call my mother and father right now and inform them that you wanted to talk withe me. Now, please go away! Thank you for not scaring a kid."
 
Agree, you need to tell your children not to speak (answer questions etc.) to "strangers" (people they don't know) without a parent in attendance.
 
How about you and wife get your children to school on time? If this continues on, you may find yourself explaining why the children are tardy so often to a judge.
 
Teaching children not to speak to social workers and the like is a very bad idea and sends up all kinds of red flags. Someday those kids may really need help and will be too afraid to ask for it. I've seen it happen and it is not pretty. Know who doesn't want their kid talking to authorities? Those breaking the law and abusing their kids. And yes, it is standard practice to question kids away from the parents because what kid is going to be honest about problems at home with the parent standing right there?

I've worked in education and it has to be pretty bad before social workers get involved. The one you need to be talking to is your wife! Why is it hundreds of other parents manage to get their kids to school on time and you can not? Once in a blue moon something legitimately comes up that is unexpected and causes a delay but if this is happening regularly, it is just a lack of planning or something is really wrong. Your kids are missing out on instruction and probably embarrassed to always be creeping in the door in the middle of lessons. either get the kids to school on time or hire a sitter for the mornings who can.
 
Teaching children to not speak with anyone without a parent present is in the best interest of the child and the parent. Not having a parent present is only in the best interest of social services. This is even more true if it is a law enforcement contact.
Let the red flags go up. There will be no information to use against anyone.
As someone who works in law enforcement and stands in on these investigations I can say that it does not have to be bad at all for social services to get involved. They investigate all sorts of absurd claims from mandated reporters, such as kids coming late to school. This isn't even a social services issue.
The vast majority of claims are unfounded and questioning the children about their parents activities can serve to make them suspicious of their parents when there was nothing wrong to begin with. It also teaches older kids to use social services as tool to try and weaken parents control.
The OP did well here to tell the investigator to buzz off and not explain themselves. It's none of their business.
 
That makes sense, mightymoose. Just like an adult would not want to talk to the police or go to court in many situations without a lawyer present, children shouldn't answer questions from the police or social services etc. without a parent present.
 
Of course, the BEST way to keep the issue from getting worse would be for the kids to start getting to school on time. NC, like other states, makes chronic truancy a potential criminal act. Next time, it might be the police making contact and not a social worker.
 
There's always the HOME SCHOOL option.
These days, kids are far safer at MOST homes than they would be in any public school.
If I were parenting these days, I'd certainly HOME SCHOOL our children.
 
There are pluses and minuses to the home school option, both from an academic and a socialization perspective. Too many parents use it as a dodge to avoid responsibility or to shield their kids from the consequences of their actions AT school. If the parent(s) have the capability to monitor their children, actually teach them, and stick with a certified state-approved plan that will meet or exceed state standards, it is a fine option. Sadly, too many parents I see use this option for marginally performing students with poor behavior and the parents is rarely home with the child so it is more of an extended holiday with a delayed wait until age 18 and a GED (if they can pass that test).
 
I don't second guess what other parents choose to do.
Thankfully, there are a few vestiges of the freedoms our founders set forth for citizens, and the home schooling option is one.
What parents choose to do with their children is none of my concern.
I urge every citizen to avail himself or herself to take full advantage of the few freedoms remaining, because they are slowly being eroded.
Sadly, public education has become a money game.
Schools, even with all the "standards" continue to graduate ADULTS unable to read, write, or cipher.
I don't think most parents could fail as miserably as most public schools are failing their children.
I say that, married to a teacher for decades, and one whose mother was also teacher.
There was no summer break in my boyhood home.
Mom would conduct school Monday through Thursday (all summer long) in her one room, basement school.
Fridays were our "special project" day. LOL
We are all free to choose for now, (thank goodness) and I'd choose home schooling.
I don't have any parenting responsibilities these days, having graduated to grandparent status.
 
I never said that they SHOULDN'T home school their children, only that a great many people do so for reasons that will not benefit their children. And THAT I do choose to "second guess."

And I, too, am married to a teacher who has taught for nearly 30 years in public and private schools, am the son and nephew of teachers and superintendents, am a credentialed teacher myself, am a friend to families where children have been participants in structured home-schooling programs (through church and government programs), and am a parent who at one time sent his children to a private Catholic school (there were no such programs here when I moved). I DO understand full well the failures apparent in the public system - and, I can see where it does work from time to time as well. I also understand that pulling a child out of what MIGHT be a bad school system and putting them into a home schooling program when the parents don't have a clue and may not have the capability to educate their children is only making a bad situation worse, and increasing the likelihood of delinquency (which means people like me wearing the blue suits and badges get involved).

Home schooling is not the answer to truancy. If a parent cannot get the child to school and is concerned that the authorities might get involved and they might face negative consequences, the easiest answer is to correct the problem. *IF* homeschooling is a viable option because mom and dad do not work or can carry out the supervision and education duties adequately for the benefit of the kid, then by all means, it's an option! But, if they were to consider home-schooling simply to avoid the responsibility of getting their children to school on time, that is the WRONG reason and would be a grave dis-service to the child.
 
Truancy can open the door to a life of crime and prison.
Good behavior is a large part of living a happy life outside those prison walls.
Unfortunately some parents are contributing to the delinquency of their own children.
 
In my state more than 75% of prison inmates failed to complete high school, and almost all of them had chronic truancy problems. When breaking the rules (i.e. the law) is permitted and even encouraged at a young age, it sends a message I doubt any parent wants to be sending. Fortunately, it is a problem that can be identified and dealt with early on provided the schools, the parents, social services - and even the justice system - are working together to help the parent(s) and the children get to school.
 
CdwJava said:
In my state more than 75% of prison inmates failed to complete high school, and almost all of them had chronic truancy problems. When breaking the rules (i.e. the law) is permitted and even encouraged at a young age, it sends a message I doubt any parent wants to be sending. Fortunately, it is a problem that can be identified and dealt with early on provided the schools, the parents, social services - and even the justice system - are working together to help the parent(s) and the children get to school.
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I couldn't agree more.
The parent has to be the 100% committed.
Many parents fail to discipline, and that doesn't mean abuse.
It simply means setting rules providing structure, and enforcing consequences.
Contrary to popular belief, kids do desire structure.
Even as adults, we like structure and order, too.
That's not to say we don't have hobbies, golfing, fishing, hunting, reading, or just a lazy do nothing day, now and again.
When we've relaxed, had fun, we know we must get back into the saddle the next day.
Life can't be one a permanent vacation.
 

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