Signing over custody

K

kaitlyn

New Member
Jurisdiction
Indiana
I am a single mother who is looking into going into the military, but for me to do so I have to sign over custody of my son. How do I go about doing so? And can I sign custody over to a family member such as my mother?
 
kaitlyn said:
How do I go about doing so?
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Children can't be given or bartered away.

Many people join the military as single parents.

When a person does so, he/she will usually create a power of attorney designating their mother, father, adult child, sibling, or grandparent the power to make decisions for the child while the person attends basic and establishes a military skill.

Once the person has completed initial skills training, the person retrieves their child(ren) taking same to their initial duty station.

What I've described is NOT custody, as it isn't necessary for you to have your child adopted by a relative, or given away to child services (both processes aren't easy, by the way).

I suggest you ask your recruiter how you go about having a relative care for your child until you have completed basic and MOS skill training.

The recruiter has done this many times.

Last point, I'd find out HOW to have someone care for your child, but I wouldn't make that change UNTIL (or UNLESS) you have passed all of the initial background screening, medical screening, mental health screening, and completed all other tests successfully.

WHY?

Because if you don't get in, become ill or injured, get charged with a crime, or change your mind; you'll have a heck of a mess to clean up.

I wish you all the best, and hope that this works out for you, if it what you wish to do.
 
kaitlyn said:
I am a single mother who is looking into going into the military, but for me to do so I have to sign over custody of my son.
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Sorry, but if you want to give up custody, the child's father has the primary right to custody and you will need his consent for the child to be raised by anybody else but him if you aren't around to do it.

You don't get to do an end run around his rights.

How old is your son?
 
How old is the child, and what is the status of the child's father? Were you ever married to the father? If not, was the father's paternity ever established? If so, how was it established? Are there any orders concerning custody, visitation and support?
 
I agree the other parent will have right of first refusal. This still does not mean custody has to be given up. It can be temporary, and if so should be clearly documented.
As above, the recruiter will know exactly what needs to be done.
 
adjusterjack said:
Sorry, but if you want to give up custody, the child's father has the primary right to custody and you will need his consent for the child to be raised by anybody else but him if you aren't around to do it.

You don't get to do an end run around his rights.

How old is your son?
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His father is not involved in our sons life by his own choice, my son is 7months old.
 
zddoodah said:
How old is the child, and what is the status of the child's father? Were you ever married to the father? If not, was the father's paternity ever established? If so, how was it established? Are there any orders concerning custody, visitation and support?
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The father and I have never been married, no the fathers paternity was not established, no there are no orders concerning custody, visitation or support.
 
kaitlyn said:
The father and I have never been married, no the fathers paternity was not established, no there are no orders concerning custody, visitation or support.
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If your mother or father are willing to care for the grandchild for about a year, the process should be fairly easy.

The baby won't be required to attend school, so a POA will suffice for medical purposes in your absence.

The child will be entitled to a military ID card which will also enroll him/her in DEERS (military healthcare system) to ensure his physician visits and prescriptions are covered.

The baby will also be able to visit military commissaries and Post Exchanges to have items purchased on his/her behalf by the temporary caregiver.

The baby will also get an allotment which you can simply give to your parent(s) to help with caring for the child. It isn't a fortune, but it will make things financially easier for the caregiver while you're away. Again, ask your recruiter. Recruiters want things to work out for you, and are there to help you make the transition to the military, which will be unlike anything you've ever done.

Visit the recruiter and he or she can provide you with the necessary documents to get th ball rolling when its time.

The other good news for you TODAY is the unmarried male who refuses to parent the child has ZERO say in this situation, and you have ALL the say.

Tell the deadbeat male NOTHING, because the less IT knows the easier and better it'll make it for you in getting this sorted so you can eventually enlist.

Good luck, and I hope this all works out for you and baby.
 
army judge said:
Children can't be given or bartered away.

Many people join the military as single parents.

When a person does so, he/she will usually create a power of attorney designating their mother, father, adult child, sibling, or grandparent the power to make decisions for the child while the person attends basic and establishes a military skill.

Once the person has completed initial skills training, the person retrieves their child(ren) taking same to their initial duty station.

What I've described is NOT custody, as it isn't necessary for you to have your child adopted by a relative, or given away to child services (both processes aren't easy, by the way).

I suggest you ask your recruiter how you go about having a relative care for your child until you have completed basic and MOS skill training.

The recruiter has done this many times.

Last point, I'd find out HOW to have someone care for your child, but I wouldn't make that change UNTIL (or UNLESS) you have passed all of the initial background screening, medical screening, mental health screening, and completed all other tests successfully.

WHY?

Because if you don't get in, become ill or injured, get charged with a crime, or change your mind; you'll have a heck of a mess to clean up.

I wish you all the best, and hope that this works out for you, if it what you wish to do.
Click to expand...

One can't join active duty as a single parent. Reserves and Guard I think one can get a waiver.
 
kaitlyn said:
The father and I have never been married, no the fathers paternity was not established, no there are no orders concerning custody, visitation or support.
Click to expand...

I know for a fact you cannot enlist active duty as a single parent. Reserves and Guard I have read you can apply for a waiver. But it has to go to the state adjutant general.

If you wanted to join active duty, you would have to give up custody but you can't then go try to get it back after you're in. I think there's something they have against that but I'm not sure.

If you were to become a single parent after already being in the military, you can stay in or get out. I've been active duty for almost 15 years. I have a child and am divorced - but I had her when I was already in.

I have friends who are recruiters right now who I have talked to about the single parents enlisting active duty. It's not happening. You could try to go Reserve or Guard though. And MAYBE switch to active duty - but only a recruiter can tell you if that's possible.

I would think long and hard about giving up custody to your child just to join the military...because you could have a hard fought battle to get that custody back or you may not be able to while you're active duty. The only person who can give you an honest answer is a recruiter so go to the nearest recruiting station. But last I talked about this with my recruiter friends you can't join AD as a single parent.
 

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