Sonder
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- Minnesota
My 70 year old father just received a restraining order and I'm worried it's just a prelude to something more.
My dad was a painter/repairman for most of his life. But, because of health issues, he's extremely limited in the things he can still do.
He had been doing various work for this woman (I'll call her Pam) for a little over 20 years.
Pam is a disabled person, due to being severely overweight, and all of the things that go with it.
It has limited her ability to walk, and get up and down her stairs. And she can no longer drive.
In January 2020, she was hospitalized with pneumonia.
She was worried about her cat being home alone, as she didn't have any family, or friends that could take care of it.
So, she called my father.
I begged him not to. Because, with his own health problems, pneumonia would probably kill him.
But, he went. Three times a week for 2 weeks to feed, and water her cat.
When she was discharged from the hospital, he continued to help her. With everything.
He would get her groceries, medications, drive her to various appointments, help her up and down her stairs. Everything. Because he felt bad for her
He wasn't getting any kind of compensation for it.
When she started asking him to help her with her physical therapy he told her she needed some kind of in home health-care professional. And that this arrangement couldn't go on indefinitely. She refused.
She was too embarrassed about the state of her home.
Which I understand. I've been over there.
There isn't one square inch of carpet in that house that isn't saturated with cat poop, urine, and cat litter.
It hits you like a truck when you go inside.
You'd never know it from the outside.
She's in a pretty nice house in a middle, to upper class community.
So, time went on like that.
Just about every day.
In July we sold our family cabin.
It was sad to let it go, but it took a lot of upkeep.
Shortly after hearing this news, Pam asked my dad for a pretty huge loan.
She's got massive debt. Of almost every type.
She said she could pay him back 100 dollars a month. (Which basically amounted to the rest of her life)
My dad told her no.
He just wasn't comfortable with that sort of arrangement.
Not long after, in mid October, Pam called called my dad and asked him to pick up some groceries, and to stop at Subway to pick up some sandwiches she ordered.
He said okay, and left to run the errands.
When he arrived at her house there were 2 police officers there waiting for him.
They gave him a Trespass Notice Form, and a Restraining Order.
In the restraining order, she accuses him of things like, physically assaulting her, and frightening her with threatening behavior.
Multiple assaults.
Some of the "incidents" she reported happened when he first started helping her in early 2020.
And one of the assaults happened on a day I was actually there!
We were cleaning up her back patio, and koi pond. So she could get outside of her house and enjoy some fresh air more often.
At no point did my dad hurt her.
But one of the "assaults" happened.
She's a very heavy person. And my dad was pushing her in a wheelchair into a Best Buy.
When he tried to pass through the automatic doors, the front wheel bumped up against this floor track thing. And it turned the chair to the side and she bumped her knee on the door.
A minor accident.
And at the time, it was treated as such.
No cuts, no bruises, no problem.
And they continued into Best Buy.
Her version is very different.
It involves a trip to the hospital, telling the doctor she didn't want to report domestic abuse. And a giant scar.
Anyway, there was this form attached. Giving him 20 days to contest the restraining order.
We all thought it was the right thing to do.
So, he sent it in.
The hearing is in January 2021.
So, my questions are.
My dad was a painter/repairman for most of his life. But, because of health issues, he's extremely limited in the things he can still do.
He had been doing various work for this woman (I'll call her Pam) for a little over 20 years.
Pam is a disabled person, due to being severely overweight, and all of the things that go with it.
It has limited her ability to walk, and get up and down her stairs. And she can no longer drive.
In January 2020, she was hospitalized with pneumonia.
She was worried about her cat being home alone, as she didn't have any family, or friends that could take care of it.
So, she called my father.
I begged him not to. Because, with his own health problems, pneumonia would probably kill him.
But, he went. Three times a week for 2 weeks to feed, and water her cat.
When she was discharged from the hospital, he continued to help her. With everything.
He would get her groceries, medications, drive her to various appointments, help her up and down her stairs. Everything. Because he felt bad for her
He wasn't getting any kind of compensation for it.
When she started asking him to help her with her physical therapy he told her she needed some kind of in home health-care professional. And that this arrangement couldn't go on indefinitely. She refused.
She was too embarrassed about the state of her home.
Which I understand. I've been over there.
There isn't one square inch of carpet in that house that isn't saturated with cat poop, urine, and cat litter.
It hits you like a truck when you go inside.
You'd never know it from the outside.
She's in a pretty nice house in a middle, to upper class community.
So, time went on like that.
Just about every day.
In July we sold our family cabin.
It was sad to let it go, but it took a lot of upkeep.
Shortly after hearing this news, Pam asked my dad for a pretty huge loan.
She's got massive debt. Of almost every type.
She said she could pay him back 100 dollars a month. (Which basically amounted to the rest of her life)
My dad told her no.
He just wasn't comfortable with that sort of arrangement.
Not long after, in mid October, Pam called called my dad and asked him to pick up some groceries, and to stop at Subway to pick up some sandwiches she ordered.
He said okay, and left to run the errands.
When he arrived at her house there were 2 police officers there waiting for him.
They gave him a Trespass Notice Form, and a Restraining Order.
In the restraining order, she accuses him of things like, physically assaulting her, and frightening her with threatening behavior.
Multiple assaults.
Some of the "incidents" she reported happened when he first started helping her in early 2020.
And one of the assaults happened on a day I was actually there!
We were cleaning up her back patio, and koi pond. So she could get outside of her house and enjoy some fresh air more often.
At no point did my dad hurt her.
But one of the "assaults" happened.
She's a very heavy person. And my dad was pushing her in a wheelchair into a Best Buy.
When he tried to pass through the automatic doors, the front wheel bumped up against this floor track thing. And it turned the chair to the side and she bumped her knee on the door.
A minor accident.
And at the time, it was treated as such.
No cuts, no bruises, no problem.
And they continued into Best Buy.
Her version is very different.
It involves a trip to the hospital, telling the doctor she didn't want to report domestic abuse. And a giant scar.
Anyway, there was this form attached. Giving him 20 days to contest the restraining order.
We all thought it was the right thing to do.
So, he sent it in.
The hearing is in January 2021.
So, my questions are.
- Should we proceed with this hearing, or leave it alone?
- Could this be the first step towards some kind of lawsuit/money-grab?
- Do we need a lawyer?
