seperated 4 years-w has child with BF-BF on BC-h wants divorce
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army judge
Super Moderator
By operation of law, a child born during a marriage makes the male the putative father.
As such, he is legally responsible for supporting that child.
These days, a man in such a situation can prove he isn't the father by paternity testing.
If DNA testing reveals that man isn't the father, he can then motion a court to disestablish his putative paternity.
I suggest you discuss your concerns with an attorney in your area.
You don't want to try this alone, otherwise you be stuck supporting children you didn't sire.
I understand what you said.
The married man who wants to divorce does not have funds for 2 DNA tests (long story and interrelate here). The children are age 1 1/2 and a newborn. Could the married man file a Denial of Paternity with the Office of Vital Statistics after it is signed in front of and stamped by a Notary? There is no argument from wife, boyfriend or husband or anyone else (family/friends) that the 2 children are from 'union' of wife and BF who have lived together over 4 years.
The married man who wants to divorce does not have funds for 2 DNA tests (long story and interrelate here). The children are age 1 1/2 and a newborn. Could the married man file a Denial of Paternity with the Office of Vital Statistics after it is signed in front of and stamped by a Notary? There is no argument from wife, boyfriend or husband or anyone else (family/friends) that the 2 children are from 'union' of wife and BF who have lived together over 4 years.
army judge
Super Moderator
Normally, the putative father (that would be you) must DISPROVE and DISESTABLSH his putative paternity.
If I were you, a paternity test is much cheaper than paying chid support for 1 to 18 more years.
A notarized statement has no legal significance.
If you can't pay for a paternity test, when child support efforts are begun, you simply dispute paternity and the state will often fund the testing.
You really need an attorney.
Think of it this way, you pay a little today to avoid paying a LOT over the next decade.
I wish you well.
Thank you. Married man (our son) is on permanent disability. He has 4 children of his own with wife. His 4 children receive an ssi check from his disability from Social Security. The two children with BF are not receiving checks. He made sure of that.
We are having a hard time even finding a lawyer that will help him on sliding scale. So that was why I asked about the Denial of Paternity form. I thought there may have been way around all this without a lot of costs. I had hoped that making sure he was not responsible legally and then getting a divorce would be less costly if he could even find a sliding scale lawyer. And also revealing 'pressure/fear' should wife decides she need more State Aid, child support or anything like that.
Legal Aid will not help, he has tried. I will continue calling lawyers.
We are having a hard time even finding a lawyer that will help him on sliding scale. So that was why I asked about the Denial of Paternity form. I thought there may have been way around all this without a lot of costs. I had hoped that making sure he was not responsible legally and then getting a divorce would be less costly if he could even find a sliding scale lawyer. And also revealing 'pressure/fear' should wife decides she need more State Aid, child support or anything like that.
Legal Aid will not help, he has tried. I will continue calling lawyers.
army judge
Super Moderator
Oh my goodness, now its very clear.
If you son is the putative father and he's on SSI, they can't touch a penny of that for child support.
The government considers that to be NEED BASED financial assistance, and its bullet proof.
Why, even the IRS couldn't get a penny of that money.
So, tell your son to relax, mom.
I do understand life can place us in very difficult positions.
I'm sure he's stressing and struggling, so tell him not to worry.
His SSI will forever remain safe, unless they change the laws.
I don't expect that to happen anytime soon.
If a parent's only income is SSI, that parent cannot be forced to pay child support. Some courts may still enter a child support order, but will not enforce that order. The Child Support Guidelines specifically say that SSI is not counted as income on the child support worksheet. By definition, someone who is getting SSI is unable to work because to be eligible for SSI you must be unable to work.
If a parent receives SSI, he or she should tell the court that is his or her only income.
Therefore, she or he is not able to pay child support.
The parent should get a statement from the Social Security Administration to prove that she or he receives SSI.
Such a person should give the statement to the court, and the parent seeking child support.
If the parent has previously been ordered to pay child support, subsequently began receiving SSI, he or she can ask the court to modify any child support order.
Bottom line, SSI recipients are entirely bullet proof from judgments, with one exception.
Only the Social Security Agency can recoup overpayments by withholding small amounts of money from SSI recipients to recoup the overpayment.
Other than that exception, SSI is untouchable.
Here's the IRS explanation, (as well as other government agencies and legal opinions from lawyers) essentially telling you why his SSI can't be attached or levied against, even for child support.
http://kyjustice.org/node/744
http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/can-disability-benefits-be-taken-for-child-support.html
http://www.illinoislegalaid.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.dsp_content&contentID=2501
http://cssd.dc.gov/page/impact-ssi-and-ssdi-child-support
http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/css/resource/garnishment-of-supplemental-security-income-benefits
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Thank you very much. This is a relief to us (we love married Son) as it will be to our Son. He does not have a computer. So to be clear. State of Kentucky still thinks he is legal father of wife's other 2 children with BF even with BF's name on the birth certificates, but it doesn't matter as far as child support.
I feel is just plain morally wrong but State of Kentucky doesn't think morally. But if a lawyer on a sliding scale is ever found for a divorce, the court may get a DNA test for the other 2 children who are not his anyway..so State of Kentucky then gets morally involved.
Thank you so much. Son's father and can sleep tonight. I will call Son in the morning. We live in another state.
I feel is just plain morally wrong but State of Kentucky doesn't think morally. But if a lawyer on a sliding scale is ever found for a divorce, the court may get a DNA test for the other 2 children who are not his anyway..so State of Kentucky then gets morally involved.
Thank you so much. Son's father and can sleep tonight. I will call Son in the morning. We live in another state.
Disabled Vet
Well-Known Member
I hope you don't take this the wrong way but in the end it could get him out of the pickle for "FREE" There are talk shows looking for stuff like this. To be able to prove who the father is. Maybe this is a route he would be willing to take.
To disabled Vet: Thank you but I have grave doubts if Son would be willing to do something like this. There is too much back story within the marriage which was/is traumatic. and I do not think he would be strong enough to go through something so public.
To boyzgirl: Now I am scared again. I believe he has the form (SSI) that his disability cannot be touched by any means. When I call him later I will get the correct term. If it is SSDI and not SSI then he is back to square one concerning the children who are not his. And should he get the divorce and wife decides to go after more money/aid even though they have lived apart for over 4 years this will hurt him with what financial support he has through the program. There would be no way he could survive. I do know that her 2 children with BF do NOT receive support under what ever type of disability program he is in. He did check this out with Social Security.
To army judge: Your links were very helpful as well as your advice. He will call Social Security and asked for a statement. This would be such a piece of paper work he should have in his possession and folder to give to a lawyer.
Everyone is correct in that he needs a lawyer. This is too involved for layman or at least me in trying to help Son. We are trying to find a lawyer that he can make payments to or on a sliding scale. He, nor us (we are retired) do not have the funds that people have paid for divorces that i have been reading. He is a good man. He loves his children. They love him. It beaks my heart for him, and our 4 grandchildren. I even feel sorry for the other 2 children. I was just trying to help him get 'paperwork' in order-papers he will need to have- so that when a lawyer is found he will have papers already and help cut costs with a lawyer.
I want to thank everyone who has responded.
To boyzgirl: Now I am scared again. I believe he has the form (SSI) that his disability cannot be touched by any means. When I call him later I will get the correct term. If it is SSDI and not SSI then he is back to square one concerning the children who are not his. And should he get the divorce and wife decides to go after more money/aid even though they have lived apart for over 4 years this will hurt him with what financial support he has through the program. There would be no way he could survive. I do know that her 2 children with BF do NOT receive support under what ever type of disability program he is in. He did check this out with Social Security.
To army judge: Your links were very helpful as well as your advice. He will call Social Security and asked for a statement. This would be such a piece of paper work he should have in his possession and folder to give to a lawyer.
Everyone is correct in that he needs a lawyer. This is too involved for layman or at least me in trying to help Son. We are trying to find a lawyer that he can make payments to or on a sliding scale. He, nor us (we are retired) do not have the funds that people have paid for divorces that i have been reading. He is a good man. He loves his children. They love him. It beaks my heart for him, and our 4 grandchildren. I even feel sorry for the other 2 children. I was just trying to help him get 'paperwork' in order-papers he will need to have- so that when a lawyer is found he will have papers already and help cut costs with a lawyer.
I want to thank everyone who has responded.
army judge
Super Moderator
The good news is, that if the other two children with their mom are proven to be his, they can also receive SSDI payments just as the four children that live with him receive.
Yes, life is certainly complicated far more than I ever imagined way back in the fabulous fifties, then the sizzling sixties, and the super-duper seventies! LOL
Well, they are not. Wife kicked husband out again over 4 years ago. He has not been back.
She has, throughout the marriage, accused husband of abandonment, abuse and such- all were thrown out of court. She stated in one court hearing that was thrown out "I heard if there was abuse I could get free rent". She once told us she would never have to work because State of Kentucky paid her to have children. Wife is a piece of work.
In the past 4 years CPS has taken children from her for neglect twice, failed drug test and dirty home. They were place with Son then CPS moved children to her mothers. We are still trying to find out why. Son has requested open records but has not heard back yet. She also has drug arrest as does BF. Our Son does not do drugs. He has depression and working with a therapist. His disability has to do with kidneys and now depression.
For awhile it looked like CPS were going to place Son's 4 children with him. He had found a larger apartment. Then suddenly children place wife wife because CPS put her on a program that has 'progress reports'. CPS told wife and our son that they would need to work out visitation. When her mother had the children he had his children every weekend- Fri through Sun and on Monday after school. Since wife has had children back he has not seen his children. Which is the reason he has decided to divorce. He want a court order visitation schedule that can't be tampered with or up to wife's whim.
Son had allowed her to do whatever when they were together. His focus was on his children and still is. Therapy seems to have given him backbone or maybe a lot of courage.
She moved BF in and then had the two children. She wanted Son to sign the birth certificates probably so she could also get checks for the 2 children (a good angle for her). Our son refused. BF signed as they are his anyway. This is the very reason he checked with Social Security - to make sure the BF children are not receiving checks. And also the reason I had mentioned Denial of Paternity form so that he would also have this piece of paperwork when we find him a lawyer.
And Son is on SSI.
She has, throughout the marriage, accused husband of abandonment, abuse and such- all were thrown out of court. She stated in one court hearing that was thrown out "I heard if there was abuse I could get free rent". She once told us she would never have to work because State of Kentucky paid her to have children. Wife is a piece of work.
In the past 4 years CPS has taken children from her for neglect twice, failed drug test and dirty home. They were place with Son then CPS moved children to her mothers. We are still trying to find out why. Son has requested open records but has not heard back yet. She also has drug arrest as does BF. Our Son does not do drugs. He has depression and working with a therapist. His disability has to do with kidneys and now depression.
For awhile it looked like CPS were going to place Son's 4 children with him. He had found a larger apartment. Then suddenly children place wife wife because CPS put her on a program that has 'progress reports'. CPS told wife and our son that they would need to work out visitation. When her mother had the children he had his children every weekend- Fri through Sun and on Monday after school. Since wife has had children back he has not seen his children. Which is the reason he has decided to divorce. He want a court order visitation schedule that can't be tampered with or up to wife's whim.
Son had allowed her to do whatever when they were together. His focus was on his children and still is. Therapy seems to have given him backbone or maybe a lot of courage.
She moved BF in and then had the two children. She wanted Son to sign the birth certificates probably so she could also get checks for the 2 children (a good angle for her). Our son refused. BF signed as they are his anyway. This is the very reason he checked with Social Security - to make sure the BF children are not receiving checks. And also the reason I had mentioned Denial of Paternity form so that he would also have this piece of paperwork when we find him a lawyer.
And Son is on SSI.
army judge
Super Moderator
There is SSI and there is SSDI.
More than likely, Dad is receiving SSDI.
Not to worry, if it can be levied against, the most that be could taken is 15%, unless that leave shim with less than $750 each month.
If he receives about $1,000, assume that someone (the right someone) could get $150 of his $1,000 he receives each month.
If it hasn't happened, and mom is an addict, tell dad to live his life.
Worrying about stuff happening helps no one.
If they take a small amount, they take it.
So far they haven't, and if they have, they'll keep taking it.
$150.00 can mean eating or paying utilities ..
$150.00 for something Son is not responsible for is just plain wrong.
I agree worrying about stuff happening helps no one. But we are the parents. He is our Son and that love,worry and conern never goes away no matter how old they may be.
Lawyer finding is now in high speed.
Thank you for all your help and also to the others. I learned a lot.
$150.00 for something Son is not responsible for is just plain wrong.
I agree worrying about stuff happening helps no one. But we are the parents. He is our Son and that love,worry and conern never goes away no matter how old they may be.
Lawyer finding is now in high speed.
Thank you for all your help and also to the others. I learned a lot.
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