ineedofguidance
New Member
Ok, need some guidance please.
Here is my story. I currently live in NYS and want to relocate for a better job opportunity in Virgina about 20k more; it's about an 8hr drive. I am willing to give all the visitation rights I can in order to move. I will fly her, drive her..do whatever I can so she can visit that side of the family.
My daughter is 10yrs old and her father is deadbeat. He still lives with his mother and he is turning 30yrs old. He has never had his own place. The reason he moved in with her is because we broke up due to him being violent with me in front of our daughter. I had a Sheriff's removal to get him out because he wouldn't leave. This all had happened back in 2004. Anyways, his mother, my daughter's grandmother picks her up almost every weekend, but not to spend time with her father, just for her leisure, she brings her places and spends time with her. She is a great grandmother, but I think she wants to own my child, but that would never happen. I think she is taking up the slack for her son. Her son drinks beer everyday (is an alcoholic), smokes cigarettes, and smokes marijuana every day. When my daughter goes to their house he doesn't even acknowledge her nor spend any time with her. My daughter tells me everything and she has been going there since she was 4 or 5. My daughters father is not allowing me to move because I already talked to him and he said he will do all that he can for her to stay here. He is very unfit and doesn't have any future for her. I am getting married to my fiancé next year, we have a 5 yr old son together and my fiancé has been in my daughter's life since she was 3 years old. He basically is her father figure. It's so sad because she asked me out of the blue that she wants my fiancés last name so that we can all be the same. It breaks my heart and goes to show that her biological father doesn't have an impact on her.
I can provide stability, moral support, financial support, and my daughter will be able to attend better schools and have a better opportunity out there. We live in a small town with no opportunity. I just want what's best for my family and children and do not want to have to stay here just because her father says no. I would never give them custody of my daughter because that household is very unfit. Due to the father being out of control and her grandmother having a live in boyfriend and goes to see another boyfriend, she brings my daughter to all of their parties..I'm just thinking, what the hell is she teaching my daughter. Sorry for the long story, just wanted to give you a whole so you have all the info..at least most of it.
I already have custody established. I have Physical Custody and we share joint legal custody. He has visitation for every other weekend and two consecutive days out of the week. Also, it is on court doc. that I cannot remove her from NYS with written consent. He has never taken advantage of this ever. I don't know if he considers his visits when his mom goes to pick my daughter up but in my book it doesn't count because they are not actually spending anytime together, his mother is. His mother takes her mostly every Sat. morning and she comes home Sunday from 3-6pm. Also, my daughter calls me at least every 4 times each time she is there because she is bored. I don't know what to do. I just know this opportunity is waiting for me and I so want to jump on it. If I'm missing something please let me know.
Thanks!
Here is my story. I currently live in NYS and want to relocate for a better job opportunity in Virgina about 20k more; it's about an 8hr drive. I am willing to give all the visitation rights I can in order to move. I will fly her, drive her..do whatever I can so she can visit that side of the family.
My daughter is 10yrs old and her father is deadbeat. He still lives with his mother and he is turning 30yrs old. He has never had his own place. The reason he moved in with her is because we broke up due to him being violent with me in front of our daughter. I had a Sheriff's removal to get him out because he wouldn't leave. This all had happened back in 2004. Anyways, his mother, my daughter's grandmother picks her up almost every weekend, but not to spend time with her father, just for her leisure, she brings her places and spends time with her. She is a great grandmother, but I think she wants to own my child, but that would never happen. I think she is taking up the slack for her son. Her son drinks beer everyday (is an alcoholic), smokes cigarettes, and smokes marijuana every day. When my daughter goes to their house he doesn't even acknowledge her nor spend any time with her. My daughter tells me everything and she has been going there since she was 4 or 5. My daughters father is not allowing me to move because I already talked to him and he said he will do all that he can for her to stay here. He is very unfit and doesn't have any future for her. I am getting married to my fiancé next year, we have a 5 yr old son together and my fiancé has been in my daughter's life since she was 3 years old. He basically is her father figure. It's so sad because she asked me out of the blue that she wants my fiancés last name so that we can all be the same. It breaks my heart and goes to show that her biological father doesn't have an impact on her.
I can provide stability, moral support, financial support, and my daughter will be able to attend better schools and have a better opportunity out there. We live in a small town with no opportunity. I just want what's best for my family and children and do not want to have to stay here just because her father says no. I would never give them custody of my daughter because that household is very unfit. Due to the father being out of control and her grandmother having a live in boyfriend and goes to see another boyfriend, she brings my daughter to all of their parties..I'm just thinking, what the hell is she teaching my daughter. Sorry for the long story, just wanted to give you a whole so you have all the info..at least most of it.
I already have custody established. I have Physical Custody and we share joint legal custody. He has visitation for every other weekend and two consecutive days out of the week. Also, it is on court doc. that I cannot remove her from NYS with written consent. He has never taken advantage of this ever. I don't know if he considers his visits when his mom goes to pick my daughter up but in my book it doesn't count because they are not actually spending anytime together, his mother is. His mother takes her mostly every Sat. morning and she comes home Sunday from 3-6pm. Also, my daughter calls me at least every 4 times each time she is there because she is bored. I don't know what to do. I just know this opportunity is waiting for me and I so want to jump on it. If I'm missing something please let me know.
Thanks!
