Public forum, anonymous postings

[Appleanche]

I have scoured the internet but cannot find much help about my specific situation. I post on an public relationship forum under an anonymous username. I don't reveal where I live, I don't name names, and in reading my posts it is evident I am trying to keep my anonymity.

My ex-husband ventured onto this site and scoured around searching specific keywords to some scenarios we had both been involved in until he figured out my identity. He now harasses me about what I wrote, restating very personal posts to me in various arguments we have, I'm guessing to feel in control by intentionally humiliating me.

I'm wondering if he can legally share links to my posts on this open forum even though I went through great effort to keep my identity concealed. Isn't there some protection for me considering that he would only be sharing this info to humiliate me?

 

[army judge]

I'm wondering if he can legally share links to my posts on this open forum even though I went through great effort to keep my identity concealed.

Of course, he can. It is the internet. It is fair game for linking.

Isn't there some protection for me considering that he would only be sharing this info to humiliate me?

Only you and he, allegedly, know the information. It is meaningless to anyone else, but you and him.

Ignore him, and let it go!!!

 

[Appleanche]

Only you and he, allegedly, know the information. It is meaningless to anyone else, but you and him.

Ignore him, and let it go!!!

Easy for you to say. He is stalking me online.. why on earth would he bother reading through all my posts?? He knows they weren't meant for him to read, or anyone else who knows who I am, that is obvious. Yeah, I know, I know - I posted on an open forum, but with the intention of remaining anonymous! I can just see his wheels spinning on how he can screw me with my own posts. He did this with my handwritten journal when I was married to him - would snoop, find it, read it, then harass me about what I wrote. He's still doing the same crap, only this time he went through great effort to figure out who I was. It's scary.

 

[mightymoose]

There is no such thing as online stalking.

Unless you acknowledge the false identity then he is only guessing, and you can deny it all you want. There is nothing illegal about him linking and sharing- you are the one that put the information in the public domain. You can say they weren't for him to read, but you put the information in a public place where you can no longer control who has access.

If it is really a big problem, simply delete the info and don't put it where he will be able to access it.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

The solution to the problem is simple:

1) Get a completely new screen name that isn't identifiable.. let's call you MooseApple.

2) Don't include information that would be searchable that could identify you, e.g. "when I lived in Muskeegee Park..."

3) If you're posting something in a public forum, it's relatively fair game. If it's important material, question whether a public forum is the appropriate place to post. If it's not that important and the "stalking" and posting is what bothers you, then the above items should make it difficult enough for anyone to be able to find you without serious help from others. My guess is you want to post in a forum he knows is a favorite place and perhaps changing your ID is a great start to remedying the problem.

 

[Appleanche]

There is no such thing as online stalking.

Unless you acknowledge the false identity then he is only guessing, and you can deny it all you want. There is nothing illegal about him linking and sharing- you are the one that put the information in the public domain. You can say they weren't for him to read, but you put the information in a public place where you can no longer control who has access.

If it is really a big problem, simply delete the info and don't put it where he will be able to access it.

I disagree - I think there IS online stalking. Maybe my issue is questionable to some, but if you were on the receiving end I'll bet you would feel the same way I do. Yeah I posted information on a public forum and so that fact alone makes it fair game I guess. If you only knew what he went through to track me - it's not as if I used my real name or some other identifiable username, in fact it's not about my username AT ALL. That's NOT how he found me.

In any event, I cannot "just delete" what I posted. That is in the hands of the moderators who are very difficult to get a hold of and who claim they don't delete posts or account.

 

[Appleanche]

The solution to the problem is simple:

1) Get a completely new screen name that isn't identifiable.. let's call you MooseApple.

2) Don't include information that would be searchable that could identify you, e.g. "when I lived in Muskeegee Park..."

3) If you're posting something in a public forum, it's relatively fair game. If it's important material, question whether a public forum is the appropriate place to post. If it's not that important and the "stalking" and posting is what bothers you, then the above items should make it difficult enough for anyone to be able to find you without serious help from others. My guess is you want to post in a forum he knows is a favorite place and perhaps changing your ID is a great start to remedying the problem.

1. Easy enough, but it's not about my username.

2. Bingo. Information I did put out there would have been too vague for anyone else on the planet to know that was ME, but he knew because he was involved in some of the very scenarios I posted about. That's it. I tried to change my wording to make it less searchable, I never named names or cities, I tried to misspell terms he might search under, and I also changed specifics to try to throw him off. Where there is a will there is a way I suppose.

3. Changing my ID might throw him off for about 5 minutes but then he'd find my old posts by the keyword search and then he'd be all over me again. I'd have to create an entirely new account and just be super vague I guess, or just find a different forum to post on.

 

[army judge]

This us a law forum. It isn't a think forum. The answers we provide are based on the law. We may agree or disagree with the law, nevertheless, it is the law.

You can disagree with us until the end if time. It won't change the law. You may call it online stalking, but the law doesn't. The law is unable to prohibit stupidity and rudeness.

Thelawprofessor, mightymoose, and I have provided you with our legal opinions. You can hire your own counsel to seek a fourth opinion. Nothing will change, because being a jerk is not illegal, yet!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Appleanche]

You can disagree with us until the end if time. It won't change the law. You may call it online stalking, but the law doesn't. The law is unable to prohibit stupidity and rudeness.

What is Cal. Civil Code § 1708.7?

Ok, fine - just deny it's me since only the 2 of us know it. And if he brings any of my posts into court like he says he will? Who knows what he thinks he can prove as there is nothing 'court-worthy' posted IMO, but do I just stand there and act like I don't know what he's talking about, say it's not me?

 

[jacksgal]

In court? What the hell did you post!?

 

[Appleanche]

In court? What the hell did you post!?

Only something that hurt his pride.

 

[mightymoose]

I disagree - I think there IS online stalking.

I don't doubt that you are frustrated by all this and feel like you have been violated in some way, but in a legal sense there is no such thing as "online stalking". There is nothing in what you presented above that is illegal.

 

[mightymoose]

What is Cal. Civil Code § 1708.7?

That is the section in civil law regarding stalking. Note that it requires a REASONABLE fear for personal safety or safety of your family. You didn't mention any credible threats that would amount to that.

You could consider obtaining a restraining order if you are feeling harassed. The order would require him to refrain from mail, email, phone calls, text messages, or any other kind of contact. That wouldn't stop him from accessing what you put in the public domain, but it would give you some leverage if should harass you over it.

Still nothing criminal here, and even if you wanted to pursue something civilly you would have to present all of this information in open court and make it public record... which I doubt you are willing to do.

You could attempt to get a restraining order without revealing any information- you would just have to show that he has been harassing you. You could continue to deny his claims.

All that said, I assume you have actually asked him to stop. That should be the first step.