Pregnant 14 year old daughter

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decidigi

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My 14 year old daughter just told me that she's pregnant. The father is supposedly 16. She has decided she wants to keep and raise the baby. Her first prenatal appointment is scheduled.

I understand the age of consent in Texas is 17 - does this mean that DCFS will become involved? I have dealt with them in the past enough to be wary of them. I'm scared of a prolonged investigation, and the effects it would have on my other children.

I also would like to know what my rights are, pertaining my grandbaby-to-be. Will I need to get a power of attorney in order to have guardianship over the baby until my daughter reaches the age of majority? She's also intent on keeping the baby's father out of the equation - will that even be possible?

Thanks so much

Blindsided Grandma
 
I suggest you cover your backside on this.
There might be many unknowns associated with this story. In fact, until the baby is born, it'll be difficult to even determine who the father is by paternity (DNA) testing.
First of all, I suggest you report the matter to your local police agency. They will respond, investigate, and get the other sate agency's involved.
Bottom line, your daughter is a minor, and can't consent to sexual relations with anyone.
If I were you, I'd want to know who is alleged to have done what to whom. For all you know, there are things you haven't been told.
Yes, DCFS, can be troubling. But, doesn't it trouble you that a 16 year old male is alleged to have had sex with your child? I personally know of cases where the alleged father was purported to be a minor to protect an adult who was also molesting or raping the child.
Good luck, get that ball rolling. I'd be more concerned about a pregnant 14 year old child than a grand baby who isn't born. That little girl will be forever affected in devastating ways by this pregnancy. She needs counseling immediately. You and her need legal assistance. You also need to press any charges against the vile fiend that did this horrendous deed to her. She's been robbed of many things, far too early, and the result of these heinous acts will possibly negatively impact her forever.


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Believe it or not, OP, even if the authorities decide to try and prosecute him, this doesn't mean your daughter can keep him out of the life of the child.

Given their ages it doesn't seem overly likely that the 16 year old will spend much - if any - time behind bars. Should he? That's not the question. Will he? Not likely.

OP also needs to be prepared to be heavily scrutinized; "failure to protect" springs to mind.
 
Were you aware of this relationship with this other minor? Were you aware they were or might be having some form of intimate contact? Did you allow your child to be alone with this young man for extended periods of time? Why was childrens services in your life prior to this?
 
Believe it or not, both kids committed the same offense. It is not uncommon in this scenario for the police to send the report to the DA seeking charges on both.
Neither will spend any time in juvenile detention.
 
No, I was not aware of my daughter's relationship. I had my suspicions, but every time I broached the topic she acted like I had sprouted another head. The time she had with the boy was supposedly when she was out for her evening walks. I've always been open about the need for birth control should she decide to enter a relationship. I am not someone who thinks abstinence only is a great form of sex education for my children.

Children's services has been in my life due to the fact that I home school my children. A neighbor took issue with my children being outside during school hours - the case was eventually dismissed as unfounded. The time that DCFS was in our life wasn't pleasant, and I don't look forward to having every action scrutinized.

Army Judge - if the father is indeed 16, I wouldn't call him a vile fiend. Teenage kids are headstrong and believe they are invincible. I sincerely doubt he was looking to get my daughter pregnant. I sincerely doubt either of them were looking past their hormones.

I am disappointed, but I do not believe that this will negatively impact my daughter's life forever. She has a strong support network behind her, we will get her through this.
 
You are kidding yourself if you think this will not have negative impact on either of these two lives. What about school? what about college? What about supporting their child? What caring for child etc etc. No your wrong this will impact their lives and forever change the course of their lives
 
Just my opinion as a parent of teens. If I suspected my underage teens was having sex I would have taken measures to prevent such action. I would advise you not to tell childrens services you had these suspicions.
 
Shrinkmaster - I didn't say it wouldn't impact her life. I did say that I don't think it has to be a *negative* impact.

She is homeschooled, we have the ultimate flexibility to work around her pregnancy and baby to ensure that her classwork continues. College is not out of the question, and I fully expect her to continue with her plans. Financially her father and I will continue to support her, just as we did before she got pregnant.

And what actions would you have taken if you suspected your teenage daughter was having sex? Force birth control on her? The state of Texas insists that's her choice, not mine. I can offer options, I can take her to the doctor, I can keep condoms around, I can teach her about the consequences, but I cannot force her to take the pill, I cannot force her to use a condom, I cannot require a doctor to put an IUD in.

Should I keep her locked indoors? Personally accompany her everywhere she goes? At what point does that become oppressive, and abusive to prevent her having a social life outside of the home? When does she begin to learn to be an adult?

At this point I am going to thank you all for your time and input. It's very clear that there is only going to be condemnations rather than creative or constructive resolutions found on this venue. It has been made clear that, of course, the best course of action is to consult with a Family Law attorney in my area.

Have a nice day.
 
I only asked a few of the tough questions children services will ask. I purposely made it look as though I was attacking your parenting skills as this is exactly what they will do.

By the way I have three teens 17 15 and 15 all three are virgins I am positve none of the children go anywhere without my knowing where they are and if an adult is present as well as a contact number. All three are honor students in advanced classes in High school, none smoke, drink, swear, use drugs etc. parents we come in contct with praise us on the job we are doing and ask us how to achieve this in their children.

Be ready for everyone to question your parenting and parenting choices. It was not my intent toinsult you but awaken you to what is surely coming. If I had told you my ploy in advance I would not have gotten the reaction from you I got. Expect 100 times worse once childrens services and anyone else involved.
 
Goodness me, it's been amateur dramatics week this week, surely?!


Since you asked, Mom - if I thought for one second my FOURTEEN year old was shtupping the boy next door, you're damn right I'd ground her. Google "Garden of Eden Parenting". And if you weren't aware of the relationship? Something is amiss.

Is it really better for her to be a single parent at 14 than it is for you to actually parent her?

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but that's just a cop out. Parenting isn't easy. It's not MEANT to be easy.

And yes - be prepared for social services to pay YOU a visit. Once again, google "Failure to protect".
 
decidigi said:
No, I was not aware of my daughter's relationship. I had my suspicions, but every time I broached the topic she acted like I had sprouted another head. The time she had with the boy was supposedly when she was out for her evening walks. I've always been open about the need for birth control should she decide to enter a relationship. I am not someone who thinks abstinence only is a great form of sex education for my children.

Children's services has been in my life due to the fact that I home school my children. A neighbor took issue with my children being outside during school hours - the case was eventually dismissed as unfounded. The time that DCFS was in our life wasn't pleasant, and I don't look forward to having every action scrutinized.

Army Judge - if the father is indeed 16, I wouldn't call him a vile fiend. Teenage kids are headstrong and believe they are invincible. I sincerely doubt he was looking to get my daughter pregnant. I sincerely doubt either of them were looking past their hormones.

I am disappointed, but I do not believe that this will negatively impact my daughter's life forever. She has a strong support network behind her, we will get her through this.
Click to expand...

We disagree. I hope your daughter perseveres and overcomes this obstacle. I wish you and your family well.

I would only suggest that your anger and frustration is misplaced. I am nothing more than an anonymous stranger who has no dog in this fight.

There are villains and innocents here. I've lived many decades on this planet. I've fathered ALL my children with one wonderful lady. I've never faced the challenge placed before you.

Life is fraught with many difficulties even for those who work hard, mind their own business, ay their taxes, and follow all the rules. For those who choose to take shortcuts, ignoring those rules, life's all but impossible. I expect no kudos for doing what's expected of me.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. If it is broke, you'd better fix it.


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