please help

[outlander]

My daughter and son-in-law have lived with my husband and I since about 4 months after they were married. I never planned on them "staying" as long as they did and in turn bought a larger house so that thier growing family could be accomadated.
It then became the plan that they would one day after my daughter completed her nursing degree they would purchase the home from us.
My son-in-law has never been supportive of her going to school and when she was accepted into nursing school he did not want to pay for it, so my husband and I took out a loan so she could go.
Because he is a yeller and hitter I have asked him to get help and he still has not, he does not believe he has an issue. I have asked him to move out but not clear on why he hasn't with the exception that he has bought and brought so much stuff and is so far in debt with all of it that he would not be able to find or afford a place to live or store all of it.
I have seen the welps inflicted on my grandson of 9 years from a "I am sorry I got mad moment" and my 2 year grandson cries about 90% of the time when with him.
I know my daughters fear is that he would cause us more issues if she divorced him.
I just want custody so she does not have to fear loosing them, giving them a stable environment without the yelling and arguing and ultimately forcing the parents to fix themselves for the sake of the kids or lose them.
I don't want my daugter to be punished for her husbands refusal to let her work for the past ten years because he did NOT want to watch the kids " or "pay for a sitter because her income would not be enough to make differance".
She has a chance to get out from under his "thumb" and to give thier family a better life and he just continuously holds her back.
I am tired of the discord it has brought my home and life.
Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you.

 

[army judge]

First, of all, your chances of getting custody are negligible.
Your daughter, on the other hand, has a chance.
But, she has to divorce him to seek that remedy.

You have the legal right to bring an eviction action against him.
You should do that immediately.
Your daughter, will most likely support him over you.

But, if you seek tranquility, you have to remove the caustic, disturbing presence of her abusive husband.

Yes, you have to evict him.
You can ask him to leave, but i doubt that he would.
He doesn't seem the type to slither away into the darkness.
You also must learn, what other parents already know.
You can't protect your children from their stupidity or folly.

Evict this bum, immediately.
That is the first shot that must be fired to reclaim your privacy and home.
Tell your daughter she and your grandchild are welcome to stay, but the abuser and beater must go!

 

[lonelyinny]

no

My daughter and son-in-law have lived with my husband and I since about 4 months after they were married. I never planned on them "staying" as long as they did and in turn bought a larger house so that thier growing family could be accomadated.
It then became the plan that they would one day after my daughter completed her nursing degree they would purchase the home from us.
My son-in-law has never been supportive of her going to school and when she was accepted into nursing school he did not want to pay for it, so my husband and I took out a loan so she could go.
Because he is a yeller and hitter I have asked him to get help and he still has not, he does not believe he has an issue. I have asked him to move out but not clear on why he hasn't with the exception that he has bought and brought so much stuff and is so far in debt with all of it that he would not be able to find or afford a place to live or store all of it.
I have seen the welps inflicted on my grandson of 9 years from a "I am sorry I got mad moment" and my 2 year grandson cries about 90% of the time when with him.
I know my daughters fear is that he would cause us more issues if she divorced him.
I just want custody so she does not have to fear loosing them, giving them a stable environment without the yelling and arguing and ultimately forcing the parents to fix themselves for the sake of the kids or lose them.
I don't want my daugter to be punished for her husbands refusal to let her work for the past ten years because he did NOT want to watch the kids " or "pay for a sitter because her income would not be enough to make differance".
She has a chance to get out from under his "thumb" and to give thier family a better life and he just continuously holds her back.
I am tired of the discord it has brought my home and life.
Any advice would be helpful.
Thank you.

you have no chance of custody unless you can either prove BOTH parents unfit or they agree to give you custody. be prepared for the fact that if you evict your son in law, you may not see your grandchildren again.