Pick up and drop off

[SHERLINAH JOHNSON]

Jurisdiction

California

My daughter and the father of her child share custody. The father has decided to move 2 hours away but hasnt actually done it yet but insists my daughter pick up their son from this new city knowing she doesnt have a car and he goes and stays the wknd. at a friendwind. They meet at a fast food place. Because he doesnt live there yet is there something we can do about this?

 

[justblue]

My daughter and the father of her child share custody. The father has decided to move 2 hours away but hasnt actually done it yet but insists my daughter pick up their son from this new city knowing she doesnt have a car and he goes and stays the wknd. at a friendwind. They meet at a fast food place. Because he doesnt live there yet is there something we can do about this?

Is the father planning on moving the child?

 

[army judge]

is there something we can do about this?

No, we can't do anything useful.
She (your daughter) can discus her child custody/sharing issues with a local attorney.
It is in her best interests (as well as the child's) to establish paternity, get a court order for child support, and a court order dictating which parent will be the primary caregiver, and which parent will be the non-custodial caregiver.

The child custody order will state when the child is to be with mommy, daddy, and where and when the child exchange will occur.

The safest place to make the exchange is in the lobby of a police station, sheriff's station, courthouse, etc...

If there is no established court order, expect problems to continue and grow.

This is the CA state agency that will assist your daughter in establishing a support order:

CA Child Support Services

 

[SHERLINAH JOHNSON]

Is the father planning on moving the child?

They share custody half the wk. With mom half with dad. He claims when his lease is up in November he will be moving 2 hrs. away. But has visited there twice making us believe he had moved and mad my daughter come there to pick up son. She doesnt have a car and I work on pick up day so she had to find a ride last minute.

 

[mightymoose]

My daughter and the father of her child share custody. The father has decided to move 2 hours away but hasnt actually done it yet but insists my daughter pick up their son from this new city knowing she doesnt have a car and he goes and stays the wknd. at a friendwind. They meet at a fast food place. Because he doesnt live there yet is there something we can do about this?

Regardless of his move, abide by the current custody/visitation agreement and meet at the usual place. If he doesn't show up in a reasonable time then go home.
It is his responsibility to seek a modification to the existing order, and both parents have a responsibility to stick to it. Do not make agreements with each other that deviate from the court order.

Mom can also see the change if she wants to get ahead of it.

I recommend keeping a journal including dates and times and details of conversations, as well as time arrived and time left if he fails to show for pickup.

If he fails to return the child at the correct time and place he can be held in violation of the order. Mom should have a current stamped copy of the visitation order with her at all times. If she makes agreements outside of the court order she will have difficulties trying to get help.

 

[mightymoose]

If there is no established court order, expect problems to continue and grow.

If there is no existing order she doesn't have to allow visitation at all. It is dad's burden to establish visitation.

 

[zddoodah]

a friendwind

Huh?

is there something we can do about this?

We? No (legally, this has nothing to do with you). And, depending on the specifics of the notice that the father gave your daughter, it may be premature for her to seek relief from the court. However, she can, at any time, seek a modification to the existing divorce judgment or custody order based on changed circumstances. She should consult with a local family law attorney.

They share custody half the wk. With mom half with dad.

How old is the child? This isn't likely to work well with a school-age child.

She doesnt have a car

Hope she has a plan in place to get one.

 

[leslie82]

My daughter and the father of her child share custody. The father has decided to move 2 hours away but hasnt actually done it yet but insists my daughter pick up their son from this new city knowing she doesnt have a car and he goes and stays the wknd. at a friendwind. They meet at a fast food place. Because he doesnt live there yet is there something we can do about this?

Some lawyers offer free consultations. She should find one in her area.