Paying child support to the mother but she never reported it to the agency in order to get assistanc

D

DVMR

New Member
Jurisdiction
Florida
My husband has been paying the mother of his children a fixed amount every month ever since they broke up (they were never married). He also paid for child care, clothes, and etc. She was receiving government assistance this entire time because she did not have his name on the birth certificates. Because of issues between them he applied to put himself on child support (in which we found out that she submitted an application earlier but never went through the entire process). They are now requesting proof of all we have spent on the children to show we should not have to back pay anything (in which we have ALL the receipts and bank transactions). Will she get in trouble because this ENTIRE time she was getting "cash" from us and the government assistance and stating to them that she did not know who the father of the kids were, meanwhile they all have his last name?
 
It is possible that by not disclosing additional income she could run into some problems- it's a type of fraud.
Will anything happen? No way to know. Is it serious? No, not really. It's just money.
 
DVMR said:
My husband has been paying the mother of his children a fixed amount every month ever since they broke up (they were never married). He also paid for child care, clothes, and etc. She was receiving government assistance this entire time because she did not have his name on the birth certificates. Because of issues between them he applied to put himself on child support (in which we found out that she submitted an application earlier but never went through the entire process). They are now requesting proof of all we have spent on the children to show we should not have to back pay anything (in which we have ALL the receipts and bank transactions). Will she get in trouble because this ENTIRE time she was getting "cash" from us and the government assistance and stating to them that she did not know who the
father of the kids were, meanwhile they all have his last name?
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Probably not - and he should just provide receipts like they asked for and go from there.

Just because they had his last name doesn't prove paternity. So she could have very well said she didn't know who the father was and still gave them that last name.

He should have just went through the state to start with and never given anything directly to her. I don't know why the hell people do that. I kept telling my ex husband when I was with him to stop having me give his first ex wife money directly to her. But I couldn't go file it for him. So I started writing checks. Then the state caught up and I guess she told them he was paying her. He was still behind and is still behind in arrears. I started paying it online to child support enforcement. Stopped when we divorced. Always pay child support through the state.
 
It can be so frustrating when these men do not listen. Thank God I have kept receipts of literally thousands of dollars we have spent on the children's child care, clothes, medical expenses and that's not even including paying her monthly. My husband's income is not the same and she didn't want to be compassionate to that. Meanwhile she had moved 1.5 hours away so it used to take us 6 hours worth of driving on the weekends to pickup/drop-off the kids so they can stay the weekend with us. And these FL courts are always catering to these mom who do not know money management and meanwhile the dads wants to be in the kids lives. I just find it unfair that she was lying to them, getting assistance from them AND us.
 
DVMR said:
It can be so frustrating when these men do not listen. Thank God I have kept receipts of literally thousands of dollars we have spent on the children's child care, clothes, medical expenses and that's not even including paying her monthly. My husband's income is not the same and she didn't want to be compassionate to that. Meanwhile she had moved 1.5 hours away so it used to take us 6 hours worth of driving on the weekends to pickup/drop-off the kids so they can stay the weekend with us. And these FL courts are always catering to these mom who do not know money management and meanwhile the dads wants to be in the kids lives. I just find it unfair that she was lying to them, getting assistance from them AND us.
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Such a easy fix.... Take this issue to court. Get the court to set the support payments, visitation and whatever else needs to be addressed. Bang it's done.... No issues after this. So get a lawyer and have a Happy life.
 
DVMR said:
It can be so frustrating when these men do not listen. Thank God I have kept receipts of literally thousands of dollars we have spent on the children's child care, clothes, medical expenses and that's not even including paying her monthly. My husband's income is not the same and she didn't want to be compassionate to that. Meanwhile she had moved 1.5 hours away so it used to take us 6 hours worth of driving on the weekends to pickup/drop-off the kids so they can stay the weekend with us. And these FL courts are always catering to these mom who do not know money management and meanwhile the dads wants to be in the kids lives. I just find it unfair that she was lying to them, getting assistance from them AND us.
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Tell your husband to get a lawyer. That's the only way anything changes and only he can do it - you're legally a stranger.

I was a stepmom - I've been there. I drove 4 1/2 hours one way to see the other two kids before we moved closer. And stayed in hotels because he didn't want to stay with his family or mine. And even when we were like 2 1/2 hours away she rarely met us halfway. So yeah get it. But I also knew my lane and my boundaries and that I legally was no one. I pushed him to get a lawyer and he didn't. I did finally go talk to a lawyer about what to do with her being in contempt of the parenting plan. She was using child support against visitation. A week later I was calling that lawyer to file for divorce though...so. Yeah. Just watch yourself as stepmom. It's a hard place to be.
 
If any person purports to be a parent, judge the person by the things they do or don't.

Deadbeats never become suddenly reliable and worthy of your trust, much less your love.

You can love someone who is simply using you.

Don't allow your emotions to control your life, use your intellect to keep your life under control.

If a parent doesn't pay child support in FULL or through the court system), extricate yourself forthwith from a situation where you'll end up being destroyed and hurt.

It is best to be hurt, than to be crushed and destroyed financially.

If you just can't live without THING in your life, don't allow THING to breed with you.

If THING did it to a former spouse or shackmate, THING is likely to do it you, too!

To paraphrase Smokey the Bear, "Only you can prevent heart fires!"
 

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