off of ex wife thread

[sabrina31545]

okay so today we baught the tickets and then she decided she would not let the child come here. reminder hes six and weve never met him. we are gonna get a lawyer monday but we would like advice before we go. she already owes us a lil over 19 thousand in over paid child support that she used 2 different child support offices in 2 different states to get. she no matter what denies us visitation. we baught plain tickets that had to be cancelled and there not refundable.for the first 5 years of his life her parents raised him and she used all the child support herself. she is now lesbian and lives with 5 other men and women. she may or may not be unfit. we want either full custody or the right visitation. what should we say or ask for? were clueless to the law... please with as much info as possible... thanks so much.

 

[irish223]

were clueless to the law...

That statement right there screams, "Get a lawyer!" What are you waiting for? It's been six years, and the father has never seen his child? HE (not he and you) will have a lot of explaining to do about waiting 6 years. HE (not he and you) has been paying support through 2 states and hasn't bothered to do anything about it? Is there a court order for visitation? You need a lawyer!

Oh, just so you know, this is legally none of your business. This is something that the mother and father have to work out. You have no obligation to pay support, and you have no rights to visitation. Those are the obligations and rights of the father.

 

[sabrina31545]

ok for one you seem very snappy. second weve been paying a lawyer for 5 yrs now, but he cant seem to get things done, like i said we are now getting a new lawyer monday, and i say (we) because i to am paying for the lawyer and the childs mom speaks more to me than my husband. he hasnt seen the child cause like i said, hes been active duty army for 10 yrs and most of that time hes been over seas, tending to this through his attorney. i will not be back here for anymore advice. thanks ever so much for your rudeness.

 

[irish223]

ok for one you seem very snappy. second weve been paying a lawyer for 5 yrs now, but he cant seem to get things done, like i said we are now getting a new lawyer monday, and i say (we) because i to am paying for the lawyer and the childs mom speaks more to me than my husband. he hasnt seen the child cause like i said, hes been active duty army for 10 yrs and most of that time hes been over seas, tending to this through his attorney. i will not be back here for anymore advice. thanks ever so much for your rudeness.

Uh huh... Well, geez, sorry, but that wasn't snappishness or rudeness. That was incredulity, sheer incredulity, that the father has never seen his 6 year old son.

The other paragraph about the legal relationships is for your information. YOU have no rights to visitation, and if you take your "we" argument into court, that will probably be explained to you in a manner that will upset you even more.

One last thing... You should keep your posts in the same thread if you want readers to have all the pertinent information. You did not say anything about having a lawyer for 5 years in this thread, and I didn't realize you had another, even with the title of this thread.

 

[irish223]

the story is. my husband and i live in georgia. his ex wife and 6 yr old son live in kansas. hes never met his son cause hes active duty army and been over seas most of his 10 year career. they divorced with a decree in georgia giving my husband supervised visitation until the age of understanding, then every other weekend and 2 weeks every summer. were battling in court now because ga. awarded her 240 a month in child support, then she moved to colorado and set another order for 608 a month. which both amounts have been deducted from his pay for 5 years now. were getting that fixed. the problem is that yesterday she finally gave in and said if we pay to fly there and get him, that she will drive to ga to pick him up 2 weeks later. but shes very mean and trys anything to get my husband in trouble with the military. she wont sign a statement that shell pick him up from ga. were scared that if we go get him, then shell say she didnt agree to come here to pick him up. we only have enough money to go get him and in no way have the money to take him back if she decides to say we kidnapped him and she never agreed to come get him. we dont know what to do.because we will not beable to take him back, we dont want to get into any trouble. can we get into trouble if we go get him and cant take him back if she tells the law she didnt agree????? please help us, we bady want to meet him finally!!!!!

Okay, here's the rest of the story from your other thread.

Does your husband have a relationship with his son? Does he talk to him on the phone regularly? Or is he hoping to begin a relationship during this 2 week trip?

 

[sabrina31545]

she has never allowed him to talk to him via phone, she always has an excuse as to why he cant speak to him. hes never even been ale to talk to him at all. my husbands parents get to talk to him all the time. thats te only way the child knows anything about his dad. we were very happy that she finally agreed to let us get him the other day. as soon as she said we could get him, we clled the airport and booked nearly 900.00 in nonrefundable plain tickets. we called her to give her the flight numbers and the times. then all of a sudden she changed her mind and said my husband cant get him at all, and that she shouldnt have agreed to begin with. we are gonna start taping the conversations and start talking to her via email. so that we can show the courts that we have tried everything. my husband and i have not been rude to her at all. weve actually tried to do everything her way, so that we could get him. in court i wouldnt open my mouth unless asked to by the judge. i try to stay out of their business as much as possible. she just refuses to talk to my husband, so she either talks to me or his parents, even that is very rare. but even then she wont allow me to talk to the child or my husband at all. i apologize i took your answer wrong. we are going monday to get a lawyer, and we just wanted some advise before hand.

 

[irish223]

Since your husband has never met his son, I think it would be a bad idea to have him visit for 2 weeks at your home. Think of how the child would feel. He doesn't know either of you. It is also not likely, in my opinion, that the court would approve such visitation.

It is also unlikely that your husband will be able to get custody unless he can prove that the mother is unfit. Although courts usually take denial of visitation very seriously, your husband will not be able to show that he has exhausted all avenues in an effort to see his son.

Your husband will probably have to accept graduated visitation. It may even be supervised at first. If his ex refuses visitation, then he will have to take her to court for contempt.