Not sure im prepaired for this

[adambradley28]

I am in the beginning stages of a divorce from my wife. I left her, she filed, and now there is a hearing setup in 2 weeks for the temporary orders her lawyer is requesting. They are asking for a crazy amount of spousal support, as well as a crazy ammount of child support, as well as half of all of the current bills at the household im no longer living in.

My problem is i dont have family with deep pockets to pay for a high priced attorney as she does.

Ive put together my response to the initial petition and im going to file that this week.

I plan to file a proposed dissilution resolution statement to show my intrests in the divorce.

what else should i do in responce to the temporary orders before the hearing.

what should i be prepaired for at this hearing

what can i do to protect myself

 

[Proserpina]

It's difficult to advise you without knowing more details.

For example:

How long have you been married?

Have you both worked?

Is there a huge disparity in income?

Is there a difference in your education levels?

 

[army judge]

I am in the beginning stages of a divorce from my wife. I left her, she filed, and now there is a hearing setup in 2 weeks for the temporary orders her lawyer is requesting. They are asking for a crazy amount of spousal support, as well as a crazy ammount of child support, as well as half of all of the current bills at the household im no longer living in.

My problem is i dont have family with deep pockets to pay for a high priced attorney as she does.

Ive put together my response to the initial petition and im going to file that this week.

I plan to file a proposed dissilution resolution statement to show my intrests in the divorce.

what else should i do in responce to the temporary orders before the hearing.

what should i be prepaired for at this hearing

what can i do to protect myself

If she has more income than you do, and has access to other monies, you can speak to an attorney. The attorney can cross claim and he/she might be able to make her pay for your lawyer. You might also be able to receive spousal support from her.

However, if that isn't the case, or you haven't been married for a few years; forget about it!

 

[adambradley28]

We have been married 5 years and 6 months.

We have both worked except for about 4-6 months this year after she was fired from her job (she claimed in the motion for temporary orders that she was laid off, but thats not the case)

I have made about 40k a year for the last 3 years, or so, 20-30k in the years before that

she made 15-20k for the first couple of years, then 32-38k up untill she was fired. she is now making about 23k a year

I have an associates degree, and she is 2 credits away from one, she is fully capabile of making the same money she was making when fired, but choses not to.



I can not afford a lawyer, so i have no choice but to defend myself. She is also asking in the motion for me to pay her attorney fees, stating (she had no choice) but to hire an attorney, even though i have e-mails showing that i offered to work with her, as well as a mediator.



I left the house with some unpaid bills, and have not paid any since i left, she is asking in her motion for temp orders that i be ordered to pay back half of those bills, as well as half of the current bills, as well as 600 a month in alimony, as well as 600 a month in child support.



I tried to offer her everything in the house, as well as the house, (with its debt about 20k up-side-down) as well as the new car that has 6k in equity in it (that came from a 9k loan from my 401k) and all i asked was for her to agree to no alimony and 500 a month child support. But she would not agree to this, then i got served the papers i about fell down.

 

[Proserpina]

We have been married 5 years and 6 months.

We have both worked except for about 4-6 months this year after she was fired from her job (she claimed in the motion for temporary orders that she was laid off, but thats not the case)

I have made about 40k a year for the last 3 years, or so, 20-30k in the years before that

she made 15-20k for the first couple of years, then 32-38k up untill she was fired. she is now making about 23k a year

I have an associates degree, and she is 2 credits away from one, she is fully capabile of making the same money she was making when fired, but choses not to.



I can not afford a lawyer, so i have no choice but to defend myself. She is also asking in the motion for me to pay her attorney fees, stating (she had no choice) but to hire an attorney, even though i have e-mails showing that i offered to work with her, as well as a mediator.



I left the house with some unpaid bills, and have not paid any since i left, she is asking in her motion for temp orders that i be ordered to pay back half of those bills, as well as half of the current bills, as well as 600 a month in alimony, as well as 600 a month in child support.



I tried to offer her everything in the house, as well as the house, (with its debt about 20k up-side-down) as well as the new car that has 6k in equity in it (that came from a 9k loan from my 401k) and all i asked was for her to agree to no alimony and 500 a month child support. But she would not agree to this, then i got served the papers i about fell down.

FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL!

Seriously - she should NOT get one red cent in alimony in your situation and I'm sorely tempted to suggest you let her take it to court...I cannot see ANY judge ordering $600/month alimony for a short-term marriage where there isn't really that much difference in earning potential AND you've both worked. Think about it - you are pulling in what, $2400/month? And she's asking for half of that? Not going to happen.

You WILL have to pay child support if you become the non-custodial parent; but run the numbers through the State's child support calculator (google it).

Please - do whatever you can to hire an attorney, even if it means taking on two more jobs or selling something; she has an attorney and that automatically puts you at something of a disadvantage.

If you absolutely cannot - then you can perhaps think about a counter-proposal, just to make her shush and go away. For example, say that you'll pay CS according to guidelines, and $300/month spousal support for 12 months so she can get back on her feet, and you'll pay 50% of the bills you BOTH acquired prior to you leaving but not the current bills. She pays her own legal fees.

How does that sound?

 

[adambradley28]

FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL!

Seriously - she should NOT get one red cent in alimony in your situation and I'm sorely tempted to suggest you let her take it to court...I cannot see ANY judge ordering $600/month alimony for a short-term marriage where there isn't really that much difference in earning potential AND you've both worked. Think about it - you are pulling in what, $2400/month? And she's asking for half of that? Not going to happen.

You WILL have to pay child support if you become the non-custodial parent; but run the numbers through the State's child support calculator (google it).

Please - do whatever you can to hire an attorney, even if it means taking on two more jobs or selling something; she has an attorney and that automatically puts you at something of a disadvantage.

If you absolutely cannot - then you can perhaps think about a counter-proposal, just to make her shush and go away. For example, say that you'll pay CS according to guidelines, and $300/month spousal support for 12 months so she can get back on her feet, and you'll pay 50% of the bills you BOTH acquired prior to you leaving but not the current bills. She pays her own legal fees.

How does that sound?

I am actual bringing home less than that due to the 401k loan that was used as a down payment on her car, as well as the medical insurance im providing for my son.

I am giving her every single item and possession we owned, there is no way im paying any alamony on top of that. I am going to try and get a lawyer to represent me before the hearing on temporary orders, and im meeting with a lawyer next week that is with a program AZ offers where u get 30 minutes with a volunteer attorney for 35 bucks. Just to look over all of my documents before i file them.

If i do get ordered to pay a bunch of things in the hearing for temporary orders.. how do they force me to pay it? and would i get to set up a payment plan or something? There is no way i can pay everything shes wanting all at one time.


BTW i have all of my docs in electronic form if you would like to take a look.