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new boyfriend during separation

Discussion in 'Divorce, Separation, Annulment' started by rdnkgl, Jun 8, 2008.

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  1. rdnkgl

    rdnkgl Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I have been separated for a couple of months now and my soon to be ex agreed to pay my rent for me and my 2 kids until I could get on my feet and find an apartment I can afford. He decided to tell me when rent is due that he is not paying it. I managed to pay it by borrowing from others but can't afford to pay for next month. My question is this....If my new boyfriend moved in as a roommate only (having his own room) to help pay for the rent, would that hurt me and my case when I go to court for my divorce?
     
  2. jacksgal

    jacksgal Super Moderator

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    The mere fact you already have a BF being seperated only a couple months looks bad. However what is your question looks bad for what? Custody? I would think Dad might have an issue that your bringing a new man in house so soon and this could work in his favor if he seeks custody. It seems to be a BF is last thing I would be thinking about two months after seperating from a husband
     
  3. Duranie

    Duranie Moderator

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    You should not be exposing your kids to a new boyfriend already. Yes that could backfire on you. I caution getting this new guy already in you and the kids lives when you are not even divorced. After the divorce I would strill be careful about exposing the kids to him.

    If you are that broke then find another roommate or a room to rent.
     
  4. rdnkgl

    rdnkgl Law Topic Starter New Member

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    We might have been separated for only a couple of months but the marriage has been rocky for 7 years and completely dead for 2. The kids love the new boyfriend, they have no issues with him. I just need a quick sulution to keeping a roof over my kids head since there father no longer wants to step up and support his kids.
     
  5. CdwJava

    CdwJava Moderator

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    Statistically, these situations (brand new boyfriend, moving in with kids, etc.) end in trouble ... violence, molestation, etc. It's often a recipe for disaster.

    How well do you know a person you have known for two months? You may THINK you know him, but I could relate dozens of horror stories that ended up from situations similar to yours. And if you HAVE known him for much longer than these two months, you had better hope that yours is a "no fault" state or he will have a great claim for infidelity or some such thing.

    Regardless of the status of the marriage, introducing this guy so intimately to the lives of the children so soon after your separation will be great fodder for him when/if he applies for custody ... and it might also raise eyebrows if he decides to make some kind of complaint to CPS.

    - Carl
     
  6. rdnkgl

    rdnkgl Law Topic Starter New Member

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    So bringing in a stranger for a roommate is better than bringing in someone who I know and cares for me and my kids? How does that make sense? Not everyone is bad and I have known him longer than 2 months, we have been friends before that. I never cheated on my husband so he has no proof of anything. And when I met my husband I had 2 kids and going through custody and he was living with me as a boyfriend not a roommate.
     
  7. CdwJava

    CdwJava Moderator

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    Just bringing up the odds - and the appearances. If you live in a no-fault divorce state, this might not be a problem ... if you do live in a state where they assign fault, this would not look good for you.

    Your call.

    - Carl
     
  8. darrian14

    darrian14 New Member

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    I don;t think that you should care what anyone thinks on how it looks from the out side point of veiw, If you need the help and he wants to help, let him. Just make sure you feel safe with him there with you and your kids! Maybe even get something in writing from him saying he will pay half the rent and bills or what ever so he cant just run out to! There is nothing in the law that says theres a time limit on starting a new life just because you have kids, just make sure you always have your kids best intreast at heart and just rememder to always make sure they are happy with the person you pick to help you love them. I'm not a attorney, just someone thats been though the same thing.
     
  9. jacksgal

    jacksgal Super Moderator

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    Bad advice. Expect Dad to fight for custody and use the live BF as good cause. Expect Dad to win. It is unfair to your children to introduce another man into the home so soon:no: My personal view on such a serious romanc eso soon is unrelated to real issue here. If you want custody of children do not bring in your BF to live regardless of the room you "say" he will sleep in. Nothing good for you will result in this
     
  10. darrian14

    darrian14 New Member

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    I agree that you should know the law where you live befor you make that kind of move, but if you didnt cheat then there is nothing he can do about it, and the judge is not going to take kids away from the mom just because she has a new boyfriend live in or not! As long as you take care of your kids and you or your boyfriend dont do drugs a stuff like that. I live in il and I don't know the rules where you are but I was married for 8 years and when me and my husband split, I fell in love with one of my friends and lived together after only 3months. Then I got prego to, and it took two years to get my divorce. I have both my kids from my marriage and its been three years now and I couldn't be happier!!! Oh And my kids love him, it was hard for them at first but he has always treated them like his own, like I said befor as long as your kids are happy it will all work out in the end.
     
  11. jacksgal

    jacksgal Super Moderator

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    Bf being a drug dealer or not is not the concern here. Its the effect on the children! I feel most judges would be concerned as some here have over the effect the new live in will have on kids. This is not healthly for kids no matter how great he may seem now
     

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