SilverLake
New Member
I have a neighbor, his wife by the by is my first cousin. This is a recreational area so they are not present 24-7 thank goodness.
While building their house I would cook dinners for them as a nice thing to do; once they had a kitchen I ceased doing same. The husband seems the provicator. We live on dirt private roads that are a bit narrow. As time went on the husband became more negative toward myself, my mother (who is the wife's remaining aunt from her mother's family), and my disabled brother. About four years ago my Mom had cooked a full turkey dinner for Labor Day. Three times she went to her neice and her husband and asked them to the house for a bite to eat. She never received an answer so my Mom asked me to go up and re-invite them. When I mentioned that her Aunt was preparing turkey, the cousin retorted "Turkey! What an odd choice!". The husband would not attend but the cousin did arrive and took a plate for him. Before leaving she advised me that the turkey must have been left over in the freezer from the previous Thanksgiving when turkey was 39 cents a pound! When we gave my Mom an 80th birthday party the husband did not attend but the cousin did. For the 85th they and their college aged children were invited to an expensive restaurant - none of them attended nor sent a card. For the 90th birthday the cousin stopped my Mom on the street and gave her a cheap change purse for her birthday. This is just backgroound information. The husband has completely alienated his wife from her own family - she has two sisters that she does not speak with. She has two neices and a nephew that she will not speak with. She has an Aunt and an Uncle that she will not speak with along with a multitude of cousins. Two yeaers ago her son became engaged. We were invited to the engagement party and came prepared with gifts and were the only members of her family present. My Mom was later invited to the bridal shower and sent on a gift. A couple of months before the wedding, the husband starting creating difficulties with us. I picked for or five dry leaves from the garden and tossed them in the dirt road and was loudly verbally accused of being lazy and that he was was not related to me. One day I kindly asked him if he could move his garbage cans back a foot or two so that I could more easily get out of my driveway. He refused and now as soon as they arrive the garbage cans are placed right behind my car! Someone dropped a red shag caropet off in his garbage one day while we were away. When we returned the red carpet was inthe middle of the road blocking entrance to our driveway. He never speaks with me but that day he loudly asked me to pick up my red carpet. I told him it was not mine and assumed it had come from their reconstruction. Foolishly, I inquired of him what would make him think that I would deposit something of that sort there when I have my own garbage site (only goes out on Monday mornings at 5:30 am before collection). He shouted so all could hear "Well you had a DWI who knows what you are capable of!". His daughter is my my Goddaughter. Each Christmas and Birthday I would purchase rather expensive jewelry for her for years. Never received a verbal thank you or a Xmas card not a birthday card nor a thank you note. Two years ago the gifts ceased.
To come to a conclusion, a month or so before the son's wedding, my Mom received a note from the son (groom) advising us that we were disinvited to the wedding. We have not heard from him since nor from my goddaughter. My cousin never shared pictures of the wedding and only her husband's family was invited. Not one of her blood relatives was invited nor attended. Her son and daughter-in-law have built a new house and have had a baby - no mention of same, no pictures, noone in her blood family knows even the name of the baby nor the address of the son and his wife.
When visiting with local neighbors, the cousin and her husband may come down to talk; not to me but to the neighbors and actualoy turn their backs to me. He will mow other neighbors lawns but not mine nor will step a foot on my property. I am a brittle diabetic and sometimes EMT's arrive to bring me out of hypoglycemia. When the ambulance arrives, the cousin and husband sit on their front deck and drink glasses of wine to view the ambulance show. Never have they inquired if I was OK after the visits. If I look out the window at the lake, the husband makes faces at me.
In January I had a combo alcohol hypoglycemic reaction while driving and received a DWI. My license is gone till next May. In July my now 91 year old mother had had eye surgery on Monday and another tretment on Friday. She is now the licensed driver in the immediate family unit. Our roads, as mentioned, are gravel, stone studded, and rut ridden. My Mom wished to drive to the grocery store intown and could not see well on the dirt roads but was okay on highways with pavement and painted lines. The dirt roads are private and she sked me if I could drive the three minutes up to the public highway. Considering her health, I drove up the dirt road for three minutes and then switched places with her so she drove on public roads. Little did I suspect that the husband took a picture of my Mom's car and one of me getting into the driver's seat and my Mom into the passenger seat. As I said the ride ws three minutes or less. This occurred on a Saturday. On Monday he went to the local police department and with pictures filed a formal complaint about my driving and what a danger I was on the road. He also went next door to other neighbors and broadcast the news of my DWI and mentioned their names in his complaint. I diligently go to couseling nearly three times a week at $20 copayment per session. After my Wednesday appointment I had a routine appointment with my probation officer. When I got there, I ws greeted by both her a a local Sherriff. Based uponhis complaint she had me arrested for driving without a license and & for driving on county roads. THrough the Pob Officer's suggestion bail was set set $10,000 bail. I bailed myself out and returned home that night. The next evening the same sherriff came to re-arrest me under a seperate charge of "violation of Probation"; I was handcuffed and taken to jail for the night. The next morning I appeared in county court and was charged with "Violation of Probation" and another $10,000 bail was set. I spent one more night in jail and was released on a second posted cash bail of $10,000. The Probation officer in setting bails told me she wanted me to spend time in jail. The DWI initially cost me $1500 in court fines which I paid on the spot; it took over a week to have that bail refunded minus $500 held by the court. The initial klegal fees were $2,000. With the arrest from my neighbors complaint I paid $20,000 bail in two days costing me $1000 in fees for same.
In court, at the suggestin of the probation officer I was placed under house arrest with a few hours out each week for therapy, grocery, laundary, lawn maintenance, and church. In addition she had installed a Sobrietor machine iinstalled in my house at my expense $240 per month that goes off from 6AM to 10PM every two hours to test my breath. Every visit to probation cost me $10 to see the officer and $60 weekly payment for that machine. The husband knows nothing of this nor does his wife, my cousin. Therapy with copay averaages $73 per week plus medications $250 per month. For the driving charges I had to go to local court - they returned $9500 in bail, kept $500 and added another $350 fine. It is a financial nightmare precipitated by my cousin's husband.
Thankfully that cousin's husband does not know about the jail, the house arrest nor the amount of money he cost me for doing a good deed for an older lady. He has continued to broadcast to neighbors about the DWI status however. I have this house arrest and sobrietor machine for six months total. If we are within feet of each other we do not speak nor acknowledge each other's presence. His father died a month ago; I liked his parents. Since we were unable ( and probably enwelcomed) to attend the calling hours or Requiem Mass, our family sent a sympathy card to his mother and her family as well as a rather pricey plant & flower arrangement to the funeral home and church. The dear mother sent a thank you note. He and his wife (my cousin) never mentioned nor thanked us for the arrangement. I also sent a sympathy card to them at their permanent residence - no acknowledgement - no thank you. My cousin did tell another neighbor that we sent flowers and that neighbor told us that the flowers were received...........my Mom commented that my cousin was using the neighbor as her "messenger".
When they are out on their lawn or on their deck or on the lake, if I even look our the window the husband makes faces at me. On weekends when they arrive, every Saturday morning he takes his large riding lawn mower a begins mowing his lawn at 7:45 PM right next door! Today it even was rainng and he was out bright and eaerly to disturb a peaceful Saturday morning. Machinery is running most of the day until their departures on Sunday. In summers this happens every day.
He is a gym tacher and she an elementry teacher. I think she as an MA and BA while he has a BA. I am a retired college professor with PhD, MA, MEd, BA. My expertise is in psychoogy and human services; I have tried every technique I know to establish positive communication/co-existence to no avail. I do suffer from depression and his behavior (as well as hers and his children) are not ameliroative to my treaatment/recovery. We are not alone in the neighborhood....he has called the State Police on another neighbor accusing them of blocking a road with a snow bank. Another neighbor plays music around a campfire on weekends; he has had the sherriff visit them as well. I apologize for the length of this post but it is complicated both personally and legally. I hope that someone can offer some insight into this. They used to attend Mass here every Sunday; I sing in the Choir and they stopped coming to church so he did not have to hear my voice singing nor view me coming from communion with the choir. This cousin's nephew offered me advice to just "Fire" their family as relatives. They make no efforts to be cordial, being nice is ignored and probably resented, they watch everything we do looking for something to "report", and the balance of her side of the family is similarly treated/ignored/abused.
While building their house I would cook dinners for them as a nice thing to do; once they had a kitchen I ceased doing same. The husband seems the provicator. We live on dirt private roads that are a bit narrow. As time went on the husband became more negative toward myself, my mother (who is the wife's remaining aunt from her mother's family), and my disabled brother. About four years ago my Mom had cooked a full turkey dinner for Labor Day. Three times she went to her neice and her husband and asked them to the house for a bite to eat. She never received an answer so my Mom asked me to go up and re-invite them. When I mentioned that her Aunt was preparing turkey, the cousin retorted "Turkey! What an odd choice!". The husband would not attend but the cousin did arrive and took a plate for him. Before leaving she advised me that the turkey must have been left over in the freezer from the previous Thanksgiving when turkey was 39 cents a pound! When we gave my Mom an 80th birthday party the husband did not attend but the cousin did. For the 85th they and their college aged children were invited to an expensive restaurant - none of them attended nor sent a card. For the 90th birthday the cousin stopped my Mom on the street and gave her a cheap change purse for her birthday. This is just backgroound information. The husband has completely alienated his wife from her own family - she has two sisters that she does not speak with. She has two neices and a nephew that she will not speak with. She has an Aunt and an Uncle that she will not speak with along with a multitude of cousins. Two yeaers ago her son became engaged. We were invited to the engagement party and came prepared with gifts and were the only members of her family present. My Mom was later invited to the bridal shower and sent on a gift. A couple of months before the wedding, the husband starting creating difficulties with us. I picked for or five dry leaves from the garden and tossed them in the dirt road and was loudly verbally accused of being lazy and that he was was not related to me. One day I kindly asked him if he could move his garbage cans back a foot or two so that I could more easily get out of my driveway. He refused and now as soon as they arrive the garbage cans are placed right behind my car! Someone dropped a red shag caropet off in his garbage one day while we were away. When we returned the red carpet was inthe middle of the road blocking entrance to our driveway. He never speaks with me but that day he loudly asked me to pick up my red carpet. I told him it was not mine and assumed it had come from their reconstruction. Foolishly, I inquired of him what would make him think that I would deposit something of that sort there when I have my own garbage site (only goes out on Monday mornings at 5:30 am before collection). He shouted so all could hear "Well you had a DWI who knows what you are capable of!". His daughter is my my Goddaughter. Each Christmas and Birthday I would purchase rather expensive jewelry for her for years. Never received a verbal thank you or a Xmas card not a birthday card nor a thank you note. Two years ago the gifts ceased.
To come to a conclusion, a month or so before the son's wedding, my Mom received a note from the son (groom) advising us that we were disinvited to the wedding. We have not heard from him since nor from my goddaughter. My cousin never shared pictures of the wedding and only her husband's family was invited. Not one of her blood relatives was invited nor attended. Her son and daughter-in-law have built a new house and have had a baby - no mention of same, no pictures, noone in her blood family knows even the name of the baby nor the address of the son and his wife.
When visiting with local neighbors, the cousin and her husband may come down to talk; not to me but to the neighbors and actualoy turn their backs to me. He will mow other neighbors lawns but not mine nor will step a foot on my property. I am a brittle diabetic and sometimes EMT's arrive to bring me out of hypoglycemia. When the ambulance arrives, the cousin and husband sit on their front deck and drink glasses of wine to view the ambulance show. Never have they inquired if I was OK after the visits. If I look out the window at the lake, the husband makes faces at me.
In January I had a combo alcohol hypoglycemic reaction while driving and received a DWI. My license is gone till next May. In July my now 91 year old mother had had eye surgery on Monday and another tretment on Friday. She is now the licensed driver in the immediate family unit. Our roads, as mentioned, are gravel, stone studded, and rut ridden. My Mom wished to drive to the grocery store intown and could not see well on the dirt roads but was okay on highways with pavement and painted lines. The dirt roads are private and she sked me if I could drive the three minutes up to the public highway. Considering her health, I drove up the dirt road for three minutes and then switched places with her so she drove on public roads. Little did I suspect that the husband took a picture of my Mom's car and one of me getting into the driver's seat and my Mom into the passenger seat. As I said the ride ws three minutes or less. This occurred on a Saturday. On Monday he went to the local police department and with pictures filed a formal complaint about my driving and what a danger I was on the road. He also went next door to other neighbors and broadcast the news of my DWI and mentioned their names in his complaint. I diligently go to couseling nearly three times a week at $20 copayment per session. After my Wednesday appointment I had a routine appointment with my probation officer. When I got there, I ws greeted by both her a a local Sherriff. Based uponhis complaint she had me arrested for driving without a license and & for driving on county roads. THrough the Pob Officer's suggestion bail was set set $10,000 bail. I bailed myself out and returned home that night. The next evening the same sherriff came to re-arrest me under a seperate charge of "violation of Probation"; I was handcuffed and taken to jail for the night. The next morning I appeared in county court and was charged with "Violation of Probation" and another $10,000 bail was set. I spent one more night in jail and was released on a second posted cash bail of $10,000. The Probation officer in setting bails told me she wanted me to spend time in jail. The DWI initially cost me $1500 in court fines which I paid on the spot; it took over a week to have that bail refunded minus $500 held by the court. The initial klegal fees were $2,000. With the arrest from my neighbors complaint I paid $20,000 bail in two days costing me $1000 in fees for same.
In court, at the suggestin of the probation officer I was placed under house arrest with a few hours out each week for therapy, grocery, laundary, lawn maintenance, and church. In addition she had installed a Sobrietor machine iinstalled in my house at my expense $240 per month that goes off from 6AM to 10PM every two hours to test my breath. Every visit to probation cost me $10 to see the officer and $60 weekly payment for that machine. The husband knows nothing of this nor does his wife, my cousin. Therapy with copay averaages $73 per week plus medications $250 per month. For the driving charges I had to go to local court - they returned $9500 in bail, kept $500 and added another $350 fine. It is a financial nightmare precipitated by my cousin's husband.
Thankfully that cousin's husband does not know about the jail, the house arrest nor the amount of money he cost me for doing a good deed for an older lady. He has continued to broadcast to neighbors about the DWI status however. I have this house arrest and sobrietor machine for six months total. If we are within feet of each other we do not speak nor acknowledge each other's presence. His father died a month ago; I liked his parents. Since we were unable ( and probably enwelcomed) to attend the calling hours or Requiem Mass, our family sent a sympathy card to his mother and her family as well as a rather pricey plant & flower arrangement to the funeral home and church. The dear mother sent a thank you note. He and his wife (my cousin) never mentioned nor thanked us for the arrangement. I also sent a sympathy card to them at their permanent residence - no acknowledgement - no thank you. My cousin did tell another neighbor that we sent flowers and that neighbor told us that the flowers were received...........my Mom commented that my cousin was using the neighbor as her "messenger".
When they are out on their lawn or on their deck or on the lake, if I even look our the window the husband makes faces at me. On weekends when they arrive, every Saturday morning he takes his large riding lawn mower a begins mowing his lawn at 7:45 PM right next door! Today it even was rainng and he was out bright and eaerly to disturb a peaceful Saturday morning. Machinery is running most of the day until their departures on Sunday. In summers this happens every day.
He is a gym tacher and she an elementry teacher. I think she as an MA and BA while he has a BA. I am a retired college professor with PhD, MA, MEd, BA. My expertise is in psychoogy and human services; I have tried every technique I know to establish positive communication/co-existence to no avail. I do suffer from depression and his behavior (as well as hers and his children) are not ameliroative to my treaatment/recovery. We are not alone in the neighborhood....he has called the State Police on another neighbor accusing them of blocking a road with a snow bank. Another neighbor plays music around a campfire on weekends; he has had the sherriff visit them as well. I apologize for the length of this post but it is complicated both personally and legally. I hope that someone can offer some insight into this. They used to attend Mass here every Sunday; I sing in the Choir and they stopped coming to church so he did not have to hear my voice singing nor view me coming from communion with the choir. This cousin's nephew offered me advice to just "Fire" their family as relatives. They make no efforts to be cordial, being nice is ignored and probably resented, they watch everything we do looking for something to "report", and the balance of her side of the family is similarly treated/ignored/abused.
