Need Help

[lostmom2]

Hi. I just gave birth to a little girl 3 weeks ago. I am married, but am not sure that my husband is the father of her. The other man stopped getting in touch with me when I was about 6 months along. When my daughter was born my husband assumed all rights to her. She has is last name and everything. I was just wondering what happens if this other man comes out of the wood work and wants to see her or anything like that.. Any help would be great! Thanks

 

[Green_Hornet]

What makes you think he will does your husband know about this?

 

[lostmom2]

I dont know that he will I just want to be one step ahead of him and yes my husband knows this.

 

[Duranie]

In most states your husband is the legal father anyways. Unless paternity gets legally disputed, this other man has no rights at all.

 

[Green_Hornet]

I agree with Duraine and would be surprised if he would try exercise any rights if he felt he was.

 

[jacksgal]

So you cheated on your husband maybe made a baby now want to do back door adoption? First off your husband is "legal" Father until paternity proves otherwise its that simple. He the presumed Father seeks such a test and is proven Father then things get interesting. Both parties can then seek support, custody and, visitation rights. Until such a test proves this other man the Father you may deny him all access to child which if you had denied him access to you, you wouldnt be in this situation.

 

[BayState]

Hi. I just gave birth to a little girl 3 weeks ago. I am married, but am not sure that my husband is the father of her. The other man stopped getting in touch with me when I was about 6 months along. When my daughter was born my husband assumed all rights to her. She has is last name and everything. I was just wondering what happens if this other man comes out of the wood work and wants to see her or anything like that.. Any help would be great! Thanks

Until you specify your state as required by this site, the advice you get is not going to be very accurate. Establishing and disestablishing paternity varies from state to state.

I will say that when your husband files for divorce, and he will, be prepared for him to try to disestablish paternity. Generally legal "fathers" will do this as they don't want to end up paying CS for a child they didn't father. For this reason you should establish paternity with the biological father. Your child has an absolute right to know who her parents are and to have loving relationship with them BOTH. Denying the child this right will cause the child INCREDIBLE pain and anger when s/he finds out the truth...And s/he WILL learn the truth at some point. Better to not lie to her and keep her trust.

 

[lostmom2]

Well just so you know. My husband is NOT filing for divorce!!! He has known all a long that he may not be her father and he has stuck it out with me and wants to be her dad and has dealt with what happend.

 

[Duranie]

If your husband is going to stay with you and be a father to that baby then that is great. If he prefers not to know the truth then that is up to him. Hope and pray he treats the baby good, not all husbands who may not be the father do. Also he needs to know that if your marriage does end, he cannot suddenly decide he does not want responsiblility for the child. He is the legal father so he'll end up paying support if the marriage ends. He cannot decide 5 years down the road he does not want to be dad.

 

[Green_Hornet]

I agree with Duranie and hope he/she is correct on the future as well. Divorce is very bad for everyone involved.

 

[jacksgal]

Ok so hubby wants to be "Dad' to child he did not donate sperm to. Thats fine but does not address rights of both child and child's actual Father. Nor will the acceptance of a child not his make this marriag work. Whatever call you "thought" you had to seek pleasure outside your marriage is still there the child didnt make it go away!:no: