My Rights

[Ashlcarnes]

Jurisdiction

Indiana

Hello, so I have gotten divorced in December and have 3 kids. We currently have joint custody. I am trying to figure out my rights as their mother. Their dad thinks he can control everything and if he does not get his way, well things get bad. Can their dad take them on my days, can I switch schools for them. Please help me. I cannot afford a lawyer.

 

[adjusterjack]

Your rights are those that are specified in your court order.

If your ex is not complying with the court order you take him back to court to enforce it.

If you can't afford a lawyer, you learn how to do it yourself.

Check your court's website for forms and instructions.

 

[army judge]

Hello, so I have gotten divorced in December and have 3 kids. We currently have joint custody. I am trying to figure out my rights as their mother. Their dad thinks he can control everything and if he does not get his way, well things get bad. Can their dad take them on my days, can I switch schools for them. Please help me. I cannot afford a lawyer.

Okay, you start by reading your divorce decree.

All of your answers are in that document, especially the parts that address child support, who pays what to whom.

The custody issues are there, too.
If you have the kids the majority of the time, you are the primary custodian.
If the kids live with you, and he gets the kids on designated days for specific periods of time, that's visitation.

The kids live with you, you have custody.
He picks the kids up, or you take them somewhere , he meets you, and he takes the kids for Friday night until Sunday afternoon, (or whatever your document reads); he has visitation.

There is no equal, because whoever the kids live with is deemed primary.
However, if when he has the kids, he can take one that gets injured to ER.

It isn't complicated, but you have to read it.
As you read it, write down what YOU THINK you read.
Also write down things you don't understand.
Then you research it, or ask someone that has been where you are heading, or ask a lawyer.

If there is confusion, disagreement, etc, you and he must eventually return to court to get the judge to rule or address the concern(s).
I would avoid this EXCEPT over very serious things, which shouldn't be too many.
You and he must learn to work together for the benefit of the children.
That means sometimes you shut your mouth, hold your nose, and let it go.
If you don't, you'll be fighting for the next 15-18 years.

 

[mightymoose]

Can their dad take them on my days, can I switch schools for them.

Whether or not he can take them on your days depends on who decided what your days are. Do you have court ordered visitation or did you go through mediation. I have seen many orders that simply say "visitation as agreed by both parties" or similar language and it is absolutely useless.
You need documentation that clearly indicates who the children are to be with on which days. Without it you will fight each other over the kids forever and nobody will ever be able to help.

If you do not have a clear visitation order or of you need one you can always initiate the process yourself. You do not need an attorney, but having one certainly helps. Many people are able to get through the mediation process without legal assistance.

As for switching schools, that would also depend on the language of any order you might already have. It also depends on your reason for switching.

If you can provide more information about your existing order, if you have one, you can get better answers, but generally YES he can do those things unless a court order says that he can not, or that those decisions are reserved for you, or that both parties need to consent.

 

[leslie82]

Hello, so I have gotten divorced in December and have 3 kids. We currently have joint custody. I am trying to figure out my rights as their mother. Their dad thinks he can control everything and if he does not get his way, well things get bad. Can their dad take them on my days, can I switch schools for them. Please help me. I cannot afford a lawyer.

Do you have joint legal and physical or just joint legal or joint physical? Read your decree. It will tell you what rights you have.

No he cannot take the kids on your visitation days unless YOU let him and you determine a way to make up that time.

If you have joint legal then I believe you both have to decide on school.

Most lawyers give free consultations by the way. Look for one in your area and they can at least give you an idea what to do. But read your decree first and if your ex is violating the order in any way, take him to court for contempt.