Ok please try not to be judgemental, but my Husband of 6 yrs had a one night stand. It happen in january of 2004. We have been trying to get pregnant for 6 yrs now. I am unable to conceive at this time. Actually I got pregnant in January of 2005 but lost it. That was my 1st time ever getting pregnant. Anyway, my husband finally tells me in that he had this one night stand right before i lost the baby. Maybe it was not meant to be I thought. Well this girl had 10 men do a paternity test. One was my husbands friend. Today we find out it is my Husbands CHild. My husband is stating she wants to have him pay insurance for the child. She also stated the only reason she had everyone do a paternity test is because she wants the man she is seeing now to adopt the child. I want to know if we never see it and never want the child over what are his rights. In our state do you have to pay child support even though you do not want to see the child. I also went to the court website and this is the second time she has done this but the last guy is in prison. It sounds like Jerry is going to come out of my closet. We make over what a normal family income makes. We have spent thousands on infertility test. I am so upset and so damn determine to keep the marriage going, but i do not think i can have this child in my life. My husband told her our situation and told her we would even pay her to adopt the child who will be one in October. I do not know what are rights are. Please help! Am i Crazy
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My Husband wants to give up Parental Rights
- Thread Starter js1102ss
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This is sad. because your husband is the one that cheated. Therefore he MUST support the child, like it or not. You just cannot terminate rights at the drop of the hat. If that was the case, deadbeat dads would be walking all over getting various women pregnant.
He cheated, he conceived a child, he must support this child if the mother files. He can also be forced to pay if she happens to file for government assistance. The state will then recoup money from him.
The only way rights can be terminated is if she remarried and the stepfather is willing to adopt. There usually is a grace period for this. A judge will ONLY terminate rights if it is seen to be in the best interest in the child, and the child has established a father-child relationship with someone else. She just cannot ask any schmuck she is dating to adopt him. Biological fathers are held accoubntable for theor actions unless a judge relives him of his rights, will they only will do when a remarriage is done.
Rights are not terminated because mom is mad, or the fathers wife wants him too.
Your husband must pay child support if she files, it is his choice whether he wants to use visitation. Like it or not, you might be a stepmom. He does not have to see the child, he must pay child support if she files for it.
If your husband didn't want the child he should not have cheated and got her pregnant.
I would not hold my breath right now that this will happen, unless she remarries and if she does, generally there is a one year time frame to wait.
Child support is generally stopped once a termination is done but any arrears will still be owed.
He cheated, he conceived a child, he must support this child if the mother files. He can also be forced to pay if she happens to file for government assistance. The state will then recoup money from him.
The only way rights can be terminated is if she remarried and the stepfather is willing to adopt. There usually is a grace period for this. A judge will ONLY terminate rights if it is seen to be in the best interest in the child, and the child has established a father-child relationship with someone else. She just cannot ask any schmuck she is dating to adopt him. Biological fathers are held accoubntable for theor actions unless a judge relives him of his rights, will they only will do when a remarriage is done.
Rights are not terminated because mom is mad, or the fathers wife wants him too.
Your husband must pay child support if she files, it is his choice whether he wants to use visitation. Like it or not, you might be a stepmom. He does not have to see the child, he must pay child support if she files for it.
If your husband didn't want the child he should not have cheated and got her pregnant.
I would not hold my breath right now that this will happen, unless she remarries and if she does, generally there is a one year time frame to wait.
Child support is generally stopped once a termination is done but any arrears will still be owed.
She can't just say she's wanting this new man to adopt because if they are not married she can't do that. They have to be married for a certain amount of time.
Because you are going to have to pay child support anyway, your husband needs to take her to court and set up child support and visitation. That way he gets to see the child if he wants to. Also in my divorce papers it states that whoever insurance becomes available to shall insure the child and adjustments will be made in the child support if my ex is the one getting the insurance. He has never provided insurance on them however. If work insurance isn't available for your husband, I don't think you have to provide insurance. You need to talk to an attorney and see what all your options are.
Because you are going to have to pay child support anyway, your husband needs to take her to court and set up child support and visitation. That way he gets to see the child if he wants to. Also in my divorce papers it states that whoever insurance becomes available to shall insure the child and adjustments will be made in the child support if my ex is the one getting the insurance. He has never provided insurance on them however. If work insurance isn't available for your husband, I don't think you have to provide insurance. You need to talk to an attorney and see what all your options are.
On the other subject of the both of you adopting the baby. You can ask her if she would be willing to have you adopt the baby. All adopting parents have to pay to adopt and you can tell her that she would get money. But you have to do it all the legal way-through the courts. Otherwise it's illegal just to pay her and get the baby. If she's not willing to do that then there's nothing you can do except visit the child. It would be in the best interest of the child if you did visit even though it would be hard on you. That way you could keep an eye on the child and make sure it's alright.
Are you saying that you will pay her to allow you to adopt the child, or you will pay her for her boyfriend to adopt the child? As the others have said, he cannot if they are not married. However, if you are seeking to adopt the child, your husband can fight for custody of the child. If he wins the mother will probably get visitation rights though. In my opinion if she had to test 10 men she doesn't sound like she would make the best mom. You may not like the situation on how the child was conceived, but for someone who cannot have children, I would embrace the chance to have a child in my like. Don't take out your husbands mistake on an innocent child.
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