My husband wants to adopt my kids

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krisdawson

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I was married in CA, divorced in OK. Child custody agreement is in OK which grants me full and complete custody (he has no visitation rights and a no contact order). He waved all rights to contest the custody and divorce during the proceedings. After the children were born he abandoned us and it took me 2 years to find him to serve him divorce papers. I found him in the military brig for selling drugs to his unit. He is now demanding to see my kids, who are 6. After 4 1/2 years of not paying child support he started to pay current, but not past due, support. He stopped paying recently and I have had no contact with him since Aug 2010. He was physically abusive during our marriage, up to the point I was 6weeks pregnant. I have feared for my children's safety and basically been on the run or in hiding for the last 4 years. I got remarried a year ago and my husband would like to adopt the girls and allow me to stop hiding. My children are getting to the age they are asking questions (why do you, daddy, and us all have different last names? How come you had kids before you got married? etc) and I would like to take care of this ASAP and without my ex knowing.
 
I will say that the court is going to take an EXTREMELY dim view of hiding the kids AND allowing them to think your husband is their father.

In fact, you may have just guaranteed that there will not be a stepparent adoption. Speak to local counsel immediately.
 
Hire a domestic relations attorney, BEFORE the court appoints you a CRIMINAL DEFENSE attorney.
 
Wow. I chose to post on this site because i saw everyone giving a fair view about worse cases than my own. I cannot believe the amount of disrespect you showed my issue. I have full and LEGAL custody of my children. He abandoned us and didn't contact me until a year ago. He voluntarily signed away any right to contest the divorce or custody agreement. Numerous emails stating he wished me and the kids were dead so he would never have to pay a cent. I recently told California child support agency to refrain from pressing any charges on him. I gave him 3years to be a part of their lives. He didn't want to be in any way shape or form. I did contact my lawyer repeatedly to make sure i was within my legal rights and was assured numerous times that he has no custodial rights to my children. Back off and show some respect to a woman who is scared stiff. And just so you know, i researched it myself and there is a legal way to have him adopt them without my ex's consent.
 
Unnecessary. I am well within my legal rights. If you do not have an answer, please refrain from answering at all. I clearly stated i have full and complete custody and he has no visitation or custody AS ORDERED BY THE COURT. I hide as a matter of self-preservation. I did not force my children to call my husband their father, he is the only father they have ever known, they made the decision to call him daddy. They are in counseling to ensure the situation is handle as it is encountered. Don't attempt to give advice on matters you know nothing about.
 
So we are perfectly clear, I did contact my lawyer numerous times over the first 3yrs and was assured I am well within my legal rights to do as I please since he voluntarily waived any right to contest the divorce or custody agreement when he was served the papers.
 
That's simply not true.

Your attorney is an idiot.

You Ma'am, are welcome to keep paying your attorney to tell you what you wish to hear. But rest assured, it's not going to end the way YOU want it to end.

You're welcome.
 
If anyone else is reading and would like to know why, here's a very brief overview:

Dad has been trying to see his kids, and Mom has thwarted his attempts and taken it one step further - to the point of actively HIDING the children.

The children are not in danger, and further, she is encouraging the alienation of Dad by allowing the kids to call her current husband "Dad". I doubt the children known that Current Husband isn't actually their father. This will further damage the children.

Worse still, she wants this to happen without Dad actually being notified.

I suppose if nothing else, if her attorney is telling her that this is all okay, she might have recourse for legal malpractice.

Dad didn't waive the rights to fight for custody later on, and he certainly didn't give up his parental rights. I realize this is blunt, and I realize that Mom is not going to like it. If that makes me the bad guy I'm fine with it.

Still, she needs a major reality check.
 
Thanks for your input. You are wrong, but that's fine. There is a legal way to file for adoption when the whereabouts of the birth father are unknown. If he was trying to take me to court for custody, your advice might have been valid, fortunately he's not. He has not "tried to see them" with me "thwarting his attempts". He attempted to order me to give him custody almost 2yrs ago then dropped off the face of the earth again. Which he did for the first 4yrs of their life regardless of the numerous attempts I made to force him to see them. The children are in danger considering the numerous death threats he sent me regarding them so he could end his financial burden of being a father. Thanks for your time, but I got this.
 
Ya, demanding, as in ordering. Not asking politely, taking me to court or anything else that would imply legal action being taken.

Good luck to anyone that listens to you.
 
He is currently demanding or order you to produce the child, correct?

Hence you really can't claim that his whereabouts are unknown.
 
Proserpina said:
Let me try again.

He is currently demanding or order you to produce the child, correct?

So - exactly how would you claim in court that his whereabouts are unknown?
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It appears the OP was banned so I doubt she will be able to return to address your questions
 
yes, banned. even though she was rude to me and is still able to post. seems a little ridiculous if you ask me that someone seeking advice gets banned but someone giving false information and not even concerning themselves with the topic at hand should be allowed to continue to post. stupid forum, stupid site, stupid people. you are all a match for one another.
 
inscrutibleyou said:
yes, banned. even though she was rude to me and is still able to post. seems a little ridiculous if you ask me that someone seeking advice gets banned but someone giving false information and not even concerning themselves with the topic at hand should be allowed to continue to post. stupid forum, stupid site, stupid people. you are all a match for one another.
Click to expand...

Fancy that, somehow OP's alter ego got banned, too!!!!
 
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