My 4YO needs stability...Help!!

[MamaT]

I am currently sharing 50/50 custody of our 4YO son with my ex-husband. It has been 2 yrs since we've split up. I am laid off from my previous employer, but working PT and attending college FT. His father has a FT job. First off my ex insisted on keeping our house (even though he couldn't afford it) now the home is in foreclosure ( my name is not on the mortgage or deed). He has had several "room-mates", some of which had prior drug abuse and theft, one girl was even a stripper. Anyways, I have been trying to work with my ex trying to get my son on a schedule. He constantly runs non-stop when he has our son and our son has no nap-time or scheduled bed-time. He also allows him to play hours of video games, and computer games. Our son has been fully potty trained for months now and he still puts him in pull-ups when he is with him ( I on the other hand do not). He also has been internet dating different women and has exposed our son to almost all of them. There is no stability at his fathers and I am very concerned for my son, because he will be starting Kindergarten very soon. His father just recently informed me they are moving him to 3rd shift at his job and he is planning on quitting!! He thinks he will be able to collect un-employment, which I fear he is not able too with quitting a job. We're in a recession with no good-paying jobs...how will he be able to support him?? I offered to keep our son during the evenings...allowing our son to have a scheduled bed-time and offered him to see his son whenever, with me not asking for any money from him, but he refused....I feel as though he is going to force me to fight him in court over our son. He should be thinking of his sons needs..not his own...Do I have a leg to stand on in court if he quits his job?? His house is in foreclosure and with no job= no car=no food=no $$ for bills...can anyone answer if I have a case. Thank You

 

[MamaT]

I also wanted to add that in the past few months my son has been refusing to talk to me on the phone when I call him and he now says things like " I don't like you"..."I don't want to go to mommy's house"...I find it funny that he says these things to me, but I never hear him say things like this to his father...maybe because his father is teaching him these things and I am not....

 

[army judge]

You can't force anyone to do anything.
That includes holding a job.
The court can't even force him to work.
What he does when the boy is with him, is none of your business; unless it causes hurt, harm, or danger to the child.
If he loses his job, and his income goes down, I guess YOU'LL have to go back to work.
The child is just as much YOUR responsibility as it is his.

What you have is the right to petition the court and be heard.
But, you can't make this deadbeat work.
If he stops working, the court MIGHT lock him up.
But, you're right back where you started from aren't you?
If someone wants to be a deadbeat and a bum, America allows them that choice.
You made the choice to have a child with this bum.
Unfortunately for your precious child, that ship sailed five years ago!

 

[Duranie]

Sorry but you have NO real case here. The fact his house is in foreclosure....so what. LOTS of people now are losing their jobs and their houses. His roommates really are not of your concern unless they are abusing the child. Sure Dad should probably use better judgement but honestly his roommates really are not your business unless they are sex offenders or have commited a crime against a child. The courts are not going to take away Dad's 50% custody without better reasons than this. You are speculating on a whole bunch of things that have not even happend yet, like his job.

Wait and see what develops but right now...I do not think your chances are very good here.

 

[BayState]

I also wanted to add that in the past few months my son has been refusing to talk to me on the phone when I call him and he now says things like " I don't like you"..."I don't want to go to mommy's house"...I find it funny that he says these things to me, but I never hear him say things like this to his father...maybe because his father is teaching him these things and I am not....

LOL. So it is DAD fault that your child is saying these things to DAD?? Really? That's your story and your gonna stick to it?

 

[army judge]

I also wanted to add that in the past few months my son has been refusing to talk to me on the phone when I call him and he now says things like " I don't like you"..."I don't want to go to mommy's house"...I find it funny that he says these things to me, but I never hear him say things like this to his father...maybe because his father is teaching him these things and I am not....

You do know, that unless it is an emergency, you should not be calling the child when dad has him?

That violates dad's "magical time" with the little tyke.

Dad could petition the court to sanction you for that unwarranted, unnecessary, intrusion.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'!