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Moving out of state

Discussion in 'Child Custody & Visitation' started by Jh303, Aug 28, 2018.

  1. Jh303

    Jh303 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    My ex boyfriend and i have a 4 year old son together and currently share "custody" on our own terms. We have never gone to court. I am currently considering moving out of state (TN) for a job opportunity as I'm having a difficult time here. I'm not considering taking my son away from his father but I do want visitation. Him being with his father during the school year and getting him during the summer. Something along those lines.

    My question. Is this considered abandonment in any way and will a court be willing to grant this type of shared custody? I would prefer for the ex and I to work things out between us but we do not always agree and I'm concerned that if I move he will have the ability to take full custody.
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If you and the male (alleged to be the father) were never married ALL parental RIGHTS are vested solely in you and you alone.

    The male has no paternal rights to YOUR child.

    If he wishes those rights, he must first go to court and prove paternity.

    Once that is done, he will be required to submit to a child support order through the court, and then the matter of visitation will be addressed.

    You have been the sole parent for four years, there is no way the male will receive custody of your child.

    If you want to move to TN, VA, ID, or any other state; I suggest you do so quickly and silently.

    If the male doesn't act within 6 months, TN will become the state controlling the child related issues leaving CO out of the picture.

    If you and your kid leave tomorrow, for example, there is NOTHING the male will be able to do to stop you.

    It isn't in your best interest to communicate with him, either.

    Without beating a dead horse, you and he are APART for some very good reasons, best leave it that way!
     
    leslie82 likes this.
  3. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    Has his paternity ever been established? If so, how was it established? Note that "his name is on the birth certificate" would not be responsive to this question. Also, paternity can be established other than by "go[ing] to court."

    All you've told us is that you're "considering" something. Considering something could not be construed as "abandonment" by any reasonable person (and, in any event, "abandonment" is a largely meaningless concept except in connection with proceedings to terminate parental rights). Even if you were to do what you are considering, leaving one's child in the custody of the child's other parent with the intent to maintain a regular relationship could not reasonably be considered "abandonment."

    What you described is not "shared custody." What you've described is that the father would have physical custody of the child, with you having visitation. Courts order that sort of thing every day -- especially if it's based on a mutual agreement between the parents.
     
  4. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    Army judge summed it up pretty well. Are you saying you want to leave your son with his father? You better get something in writing through the court if you're willing to do that. If you don't go to court and you leave him with the father, he can go file for custody.
     
  5. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Do the smart thing and get this in a court order. If you need justification, read a few of the posts on here. You'll be running to the courthouse.
     
  6. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    We have had non legal parenting discussions on Parent Nook Forums - Index page Parenting site hosted by Thelaw.com and its sounds good to work things out outside of court its not. Problem is that if an issue like this one comes up neither party has any ground to stand on. It is always in everyone's best interest to get court orders for visitation, support and custody.
     

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