Mother wants custody???????????

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Montana

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Here's the situation:
Almost 10 years ago my boyfriends ex (they are not legally divorced) decided the kids were interfering with her partying life. So, when she was suppose to pick them up from her weekend visit instead she dropped off all of their belongings in our front yard. I called her repeatedly that day to come get her kids and she refused to. So, we kept the kids and never said anything. Months later I found out she was still drawing adc on them, so I called the worker and said these kids live with us not her. And that was stopped immediately. We had the kids for 3 years and the oldest decided she wanted to live with her mother because there were no rules at mommys house. So after tons of arguments and so forth we ended up letting her go. She is now 19 so not in the middle of this anymore. However we have the two boys ages 10 and 15. And we have had them for almost 10 years now. We use to live in Michigan about 30 minutes from the mother and for the most part if it was convenient for her she would see them maybe once a month as long as I sent them with food to eat while they were there and most the time provided their transportation to get there. Well, the economy turned and my boyfriend's company he works for moved to Montana so he was doing the back and forth thing and the kids and I were still in Michigan. So after 2 years of this we decided to move to Montana. There were no arguments about any of this. We did state that we would be coming back to Michigan to visit however with this economy we havent been able to afford this yet and its been just over a year now. We have told her this and she was all fine with it and also told her she could come visit anytime. There was no problem until 2 days ago. Now she is stating she wants the youngest to come live with her he is 10. And we know he misses her dearly as she is his mother. The 15 year old does not want to go there.
Anyways now she is starting a bunch of crap. My question is where do we go from here?
A little about the mother, she is a pot head, has not had her own place since her and my ex split over ten years ago. She bounces from house to house. She refuses to work because she owes everyone money. She has never paid a penny in child support or just to help us out. Even when the oldest girl moved back in with her up until last year we were paying for her clothes, and hygiene supplies. She allowed her daughter to quit school at 15 and she still hasnt gone back. The house she currently lives in has been raided numerous times. The mother has also had a baby by her nephew (which is another story). I am not sure where we stand on all of this. We know he should of gotten a divorce but just havent had the money. He works 50 hours a week and I work part time to support his two kids and my five kids (seven total).
The kids are all doing great here and also love it here.

Do we have anything to worry about? Is it possible she can step in after 10 years and take the kids back? Considering she has had no part in raising them over the last ten years?

And we have no problem with her visiting, but now we wonder if we do send them there will she give them back? And who should be responsible for the transportation to and from? She told the boys a while ago we should be buying her ticket to come here, lmao thats never gonna happen..

Any help or info would be appreciated...
 
Here's the situation:
Almost 10 years ago my boyfriends ex (they are not legally divorced) decided the kids were interfering with her partying life. So, when she was suppose to pick them up from her weekend visit instead she dropped off all of their belongings in our front yard. I called her repeatedly that day to come get her kids and she refused to. So, we kept the kids and never said anything. Months later I found out she was still drawing adc on them, so I called the worker and said these kids live with us not her. And that was stopped immediately. We had the kids for 3 years and the oldest decided she wanted to live with her mother because there were no rules at mommys house. So after tons of arguments and so forth we ended up letting her go. She is now 19 so not in the middle of this anymore. However we have the two boys ages 10 and 15. And we have had them for almost 10 years now. We use to live in Michigan about 30 minutes from the mother and for the most part if it was convenient for her she would see them maybe once a month as long as I sent them with food to eat while they were there and most the time provided their transportation to get there. Well, the economy turned and my boyfriend's company he works for moved to Montana so he was doing the back and forth thing and the kids and I were still in Michigan. So after 2 years of this we decided to move to Montana. There were no arguments about any of this. We did state that we would be coming back to Michigan to visit however with this economy we havent been able to afford this yet and its been just over a year now. We have told her this and she was all fine with it and also told her she could come visit anytime. There was no problem until 2 days ago. Now she is stating she wants the youngest to come live with her he is 10. And we know he misses her dearly as she is his mother. The 15 year old does not want to go there.
Anyways now she is starting a bunch of crap. My question is where do we go from here?
A little about the mother, she is a pot head, has not had her own place since her and my ex split over ten years ago. She bounces from house to house. She refuses to work because she owes everyone money. She has never paid a penny in child support or just to help us out. Even when the oldest girl moved back in with her up until last year we were paying for her clothes, and hygiene supplies. She allowed her daughter to quit school at 15 and she still hasnt gone back. The house she currently lives in has been raided numerous times. The mother has also had a baby by her nephew (which is another story). I am not sure where we stand on all of this. We know he should of gotten a divorce but just havent had the money. He works 50 hours a week and I work part time to support his two kids and my five kids (seven total).
The kids are all doing great here and also love it here.

Do we have anything to worry about? Is it possible she can step in after 10 years and take the kids back? Considering she has had no part in raising them over the last ten years?

And we have no problem with her visiting, but now we wonder if we do send them there will she give them back? And who should be responsible for the transportation to and from? She told the boys a while ago we should be buying her ticket to come here, lmao thats never gonna happen..

Any help or info would be appreciated...


Please clarify:

Were the father and mother married? Are they still LEGALLY married? Are there ANY court orders in place regarding these children?
 
Yes they were legally married and still are. There is nothing in place regarding the children. He was on assistance with them about 8 years ago for maybe 6 months and during that time they did go after her for child support. And they did state in their paperwork that he had custody. But nothing other then that.

When we were going to court for the child support that he had to pay for when she had them (which was only 4 months after they separated) we did tell the judge then that we had all the kids so it was noted there.
But like I said that was it...
 
Yes they were legally married and still are. There is nothing in place regarding the children. He was on assistance with them about 8 years ago for maybe 6 months and during that time they did go after her for child support. And they did state in their paperwork that he had custody. But nothing other then that.

When we were going to court for the child support that he had to pay for when she had them (which was only 4 months after they separated) we did tell the judge then that we had all the kids so it was noted there.
But like I said that was it...

Okay...Please explain how there ARE and ARE NOT court orders...Better yet, Please have Dad sign up regarding his own legal issue.
 
There are no papers stating who has custody. When he was paying off the child support that occurred during the 4 months that she had the kids, it was noted in court that he had the kids.
When he was on assistance with the kids the state went after her for child support and it was noted there that he had the kids.
Other then that there is nothing stating who has custody of the kids.

He doesnt use a computer so that is why he hasnt signed up. And I feel I can post seeing as though I have been taking care of these kids also for 10 years, so I do know what is going on.
 
From your posting it would appear that since custody was never actually decided by the legal system...and mom and dad are still married....mom has as much rights to these children as dad does. Which means that currently there is nothing that legally prohibits her from taking these children.

If dad wants to establish sole custody based on moms lifestyle, dad has to file for such.

Gail
 
Dad needs to file for custody in his state of both kids before mom tries to file in her state even though her state technically should not have jurisdiction. He certainly does not have to send the child to her..I wouldnt because then she could try to file for custody of that one. Do some googling of your county family court and see if the forms are online. Better yet Dad should book a consultation with a family law attorney just to make sure he is prepared.
 
Thats what we are going to do. Get a lawyer and get things going asap. This should of been done long ago. But with money being tight and her not wanting anything to do with them we seen no need.

Thank you all
 
Thats what we are going to do. Get a lawyer and get things going asap. This should of been done long ago. But with money being tight and her not wanting anything to do with them we seen no need.

Thank you all


Obviously DAD has a "need" to resolve HIS legal issues. Starting with a divorce.
 
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