mom sleeps with her 7 year old son

[ss3seas]

My stepson is almost 7 years old and sleeps with his mom who has custody.
When he comes to our house he sleeps in his own room. The mother is not married (never has been). We know through Associated Counselors & Therapists (and common sense) that this puts the child in a position to meet the parent's emotional (and somewhat physical) needs). All this leading to a child who can develop problems with identity, the ability to be independent and mature. This co dependency is seen in his behavior. His school teacher has mentioned this as well.
Is there anything we can do?

 

[Duranie]

Sorry but there is probably nothing you can do. Lots of parents co sleep with their kids, although it is a little odd for a 7 yr old to be in bed with mom.

Dad can talk to mom about it but she doesn't have to listen. i do not know what other legal recourse Dad has.

 

[momof279]

If it is an every night thing you have reason to be concerned but I don't think you have any legal recourse unless there is some sort of proof or abuse. I have two boys one 7 and 4...Every now and then when my husband is out on the road my boys ask if we can have a sleepover...whether in their room or sleeping in my bed with me. They like that having that time cuddling falling asleep and watching a movie together.
Unless there is something else going on there I don't think there is much you can do but talk about it.

 

[ss3seas]

We have talked to the mom on many occassions about this and she will just say "I know", but nothing changes. I was single with my 3 sons before meeting and marrying my now husband. The job of a parent is get them to independence so that they go out into the world and pursue jobs, interests and a healthy bond with a future spouse. My children knew they could come to me if they were sick or if theyre was a tornado watch or they could watch tv but then go to their own rooms. This mom is an only child and highly emeshed with her own mom . This is every night and the boy has his own room but it is never used. The mom is 35 and lives (has always lived) with her parents. The child went with us to PA to visit family at Christmas and she overnighted a letter with a boy and girl kissing on the front and she wrote in it that he is her heart and life and that she loves him very very much with underscores. She has presents for him every weekend that he comes to visit us and even hung a banner over her front door Welcome Home (his name) - as though her were 22 and home from a years tour of duty.

She will not let him ride the bus and does not drop him off in carpool line at school . She walks him in and unloads his backpack and organizes his desk. The school teacher has told us this is very disruptive to the class. After school she takes on spending sprees at Walmart and then they play 6 hours of x box together. She bought him a cell phone when he was 4 !My husband goes to great lengths to have a relationship with his son. They live 50 miles (100 roundtrip) away and my husband drives each Wednesday after work to see the boy .He picks him up and then delivers him back after our every other weekend visit also. We pay $3,000 a month in child support which she has bought a mercedes. I would think she could drive him to us since we are paying for the car, gas, insurance etc....
We think her unusual bonding with the child has alienated the child from his father. THe first year she would call several times a day telling him how much she misses him and he would cry. We stopped answering all those calls and only allow one a day as it was horrible to have him worked up after every call.
I have suggested going for custody. But we want to know that we have a case before proceeding. The original case was done in her small town and my husband thinks the Judge favours his residents.