Misuse of child support

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irmajo

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My husband was brought back into court for an increase of child support and she is getting a bundle. In the court room, on the stand, she made a pitiful plea that she could not save any money in her savings account, blah blah blah. She wanted to save for college funds, etc. Well, her new husband is a detective in this podunk town in WI and let me tell you the book was thrown at my husband. We live in IL, close to Chicago, and it looks like he makes a bunch of money but after all of the taxes we were looking at living in an apt. Anyway, this all happened last OCT. Since then, instead of saving, she has been traveling up a storm. She has been to San Diego, Canada, Orlando, Alaska and not just 2-3 dayers, gone for 4-6 days. How in the world can we prove that she is mis using the money? The kids are visiting now and the oldest has been walking around in shoes that are 1 1/2 sizes too small! We bought him new ones. Should we ask her for reimbursement? Should we see a lawyer? This will be difficult as we think that it is a very biased situation due to her husbands occupation.

Anybody have any suggestions?
 
I know what you mean. My husbands ex-girlfriend isn't using her child support for the child either. I've seen the proof and she's admitted to my husband on several occasions that she doesn't use it for his son. And now she's taking my husband back to court on the 17th for more child support because she claims that she cannot afford my step son's doctor bills. But yet she get's almost 300 a month in child support.
 
First of all you have no say on how she spends her child support money. She is free to do with it as she pleases. CS is based off of his income and parenting time. I d onot know what you conside a bundle, but have you looked up your states guidelines? He had a chance to appeal it as well. Does she work? He can ask that an income be imputed for her.

i dont see what her husband being a detective has much to do with it, but he should do a child support calculator using the states guidelines. If he still thinks he is overpaying, then maybe he should contact an attorney for help.
 
"proudmama" as a mother I would hope you have a clue how expensive raising a child can be. "Almost $300" a month is NOTHING. My childs medical insurance is $192 every two weeks, not to mention clothes, food, DAYCARE...be serious woman. You boyfriend has it easy.
 
Duranie is 100% correct. You have no say so on how CS money is spent. Long as the child's needs are met all is fine. If for any reason either parent feels support needs to be change either parent (no step parents involved) can petition court for modification.
 
All grown up and found out about misuse, now what?

So, this may be totally worthless to even try to do something about but at least maybe my story will be heard :) and it could help somebody.

My Mom married my step-father when I was 2 and had him adopt me. However, my biological father was still ordered to pay support. They received huge back payments of child support after the adoption and continued to get checks until I was 18.

Here's the kicker...I didn't even live with them until I was 12. I lived with my Maternal Grandparents because they couldn't be bothered to deal with me. They never paid any of the support to my Grandparents.

They never spent a dime of that support on me. I didn't find out until later, now I'm an adult and its probably too late to do anything about it.
 
From my past experience on this topic (past experience only since I am not a lawyer) your situation would have 2 options. Like the other threads say you cannot tell the other party what they can and can't do with the support. Your first option would be try to modify the current living situations if you are ready to take that step. My changing the arrangements any you having more time with the child would have an impact on how much money is calculated for CS. There are CS calculators online and there are a few different types so read up on which one works for your situation. The other is just keep paying it and let is go. I know its rough but thats about it. I live in WI so I have a pretty good grasp on how the CS system works. Also another good piece of advice is DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! If you were to go back to court have a leg up on how the child is being cared for and all the extra's mom's getting. Make sure your bases are covered if you end up having to go through a custody situation. But remember its whats best for the child and if your current living situation is not "ready" (and I don't mean that to be offensive) to have the child more then don't start the process. I have spent countless hours reading up on the effects of children and what happens through custody battles. Some parents like to involve the kids which may happen in your case but not by you but by the other parent. You cannot control what happens in that household and probably will never know what the children hear or are told. My ex wife has dragged my children through situations and a lifestyle they should have never happened. WI is a hard state to go through in a custody situation and I hate to say this but harder on the fathers. Trust me in saying this, that last comment may sound bias but its true. I would do as much research on your own before you decide what to do but remember its a long dirty battle that sometimes isn't worth the effects of the outcome. Good luck and I hope this helps some what.:eek:
 
irmajo said:
How in the world can we prove that she is mis using the money? The kids are visiting now and the oldest has been walking around in shoes that are 1 1/2 sizes too small! We bought him new ones. Should we ask her for reimbursement? Should we see a lawyer? This will be difficult as we think that it is a very biased situation due to her husbands occupation.

Anybody have any suggestions?
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WE do nothing. There is no WE in this situation...this is between your husband and his ex wife. You have no leg to stand on in this. Frankly, it's none of your business how she spends the money supporting THEIR children.
If your husband has concerns over how his children are provided for, HE can speak to an attorney or research the state's CS guidlines. You provide the emotional support, don't get involved. You have no legal fight in this.
 
Lets put it simply.
Are the kids being fed?
Do the kids have clothes to wear?
Do the kids have a place to sleep?
Are the kids needs being met? (Not wants)

If answer is yes then support is not being misued:yes:

Now as pointed out you have no dog in this fight. In fact you are legal stranger to issue. This is between Mom and Dad only!!
 
I agree with everything being said above, its not up to the obligator what the parent recieving the CS does with the money, and new wife shouldn't get involved... I am just a step parent, my husband's kids have a mother and a father around... However, I do feel that I have a little say since we are a family, the household income is our income now. My husband pays over $600 in child support for 2 kids, ages 8 and 11. In their divorse decree, besides child support, he is supposed to pay half of medical copays, prescriptions, ect. Both my husband and her husband carry medical insurance through work for the kids. On top of child support, she asks for at least half of school supplies, school clothes, haircuts, shoes, coats, when kids go on vacation or trip, she asks for stuff kids need for the trip. My husband gives in because she holds kids over his head. She treatens he can't see the kids, and he is afraid of it because she has "kidnaped" them before, just ran off for few months to Florida, and no one knew where they were. Now, its in the forties, the weather is getting cold, kids have broken zippers on their coats, she wont buy the coats, because she claims she doesn't have the money, we bought their coats last year, we don't have the money either, we actually have fallen behind on some bills and trying to catch up. I understand it aches my husband's heart seing kids in those coats that they can't zip up and he just wants to go out and buy new coats. I told him, I would never say no to taking care of his kids, or anything like that, but when is it enough? We bought them school supplies this year, some school clothes... I told my husband, that he supports his boys, thats his family and he has an obligation to them and supports them by paying the CS, weither its enough or not considering the cost of raising kids, this is the fair amount according to the calculation and based on what he makes. I already know from all the experiences with her, she will keep sending them in those coats until he breaks down and buys new ones, because she knows he will. Its no win situation, he either lets kids go home in old coats and go to school like that and be cold, or fall even more behind on our bills and goes out and buys coats. I have no problem with CS payment, but I do have a problem, when more money goes out to the support of that family then money coming in for the support of the new one. And the fact that the money isn't being spent on coats and shoes. The 11 year old was wearing grandpa's shoes that were 3 sizes too big. Their coats don't zip. And she also presented him with the list of things the kid needs for class trip.
 
you have EVERY right to know where and how your child support money is spent. take her back to court and ask the Judge to make her provide receipts for ALL the child support money she gets. In Mass, this is common practice. Her husbands income is no issue as they are not his children.
 
Wrong. A step parent is a "legal stranger" to the child(ren) they may voice their opinion but they have no legal rights. Furhermore a parent doe snot have to prove where support funds are going. All the parent needs to do is show that child's needs are being met
 
tireoftheex said:
you have EVERY right to know where and how your child support money is spent. take her back to court and ask the Judge to make her provide receipts for ALL the child support money she gets. In Mass, this is common practice. Her husbands income is no issue as they are not his children.
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This is wrong on so many levels it is not even funny.:eek::no::eek:

The person receiving the child support is not generally required to account for anything unless the judge deems it necessary~ not the other parent.

As long as the children have a roof over their heads, food in their tummies and clothes on their backs, the receiver of the support can go on Hawaiian vacations if he/she feels like it the money.
 
tireoftheex said:
you have EVERY right to know where and how your child support money is spent. take her back to court and ask the Judge to make her provide receipts for ALL the child support money she gets. In Mass, this is common practice. Her husbands income is no issue as they are not his children.
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Bull. Provide state stat's or case law that make a CP provide receipts to the court.
 
Antigone,

We are friends. I wasn't trying to be mean, just pointing out that you were a bit rough with her/him.... Don't take it badly...
 
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