Married but separated and pregnant. Can i leave the country?

[Jesskullerkeks]

Jurisdiction

Hawaii

Hello guys (sorry for the long post)
I have dual citizenship (German- american), born in the U.S. but I basically grew up in Germany. I decided that I wanted to spend some time in my dad's home country and find a job and live here for a while. I married an American and got pregnant. Soon after the pregnancy started he started to get abusive (it started after the marriage and got way worse), he verbally and emotionally abused me and physically abuses his daughter from a former girlfriend. I left him and am staying at a shelter right now. I am scared of him finding me, I am going to call cps on him for his daughter but I have a different question.

I want to go back to Germany where the support for single mothers is way better than in the US. And where I don't have to worry about my childs safety if i leave it with the father. The father knows that I am going to leave but not when since I am scared about what he would do to me. I asked a lawyer if i should file for a TRO but she said better not, because if they find out I am pregnant that could leave me with a court order to stay in the US.
I am trying to tell my husband to get professionell help but he refuses to see that he's doing anything wrong. Until he gets help I don't want him to be near this baby by himself.
What is the custody going to be like if the baby is born in Germany? Since we are still technically married, is it gonna get American citizenship? I want to file for divorce and for sole custody but don't have any written proof of his abuse except for my statements with various counsellors and my stay at the shelter. Also another reason I want to go to Germany is that you can't file for divorce while you are pregnant in the US.

Does anyone know more about the custody and citizenship stuff? I can't be ordered back to the US because of that can I? And since an unborn child technically doesn't have any rights I am not abducting it since it's not here yet.
My whole concern is the safety of this kid. after seeing how my husband treats his daughter I can not let him get custody of any kind with this kid.
Thanks for advice and knowledge,
Jess

 

[leslie82]

http://www.lawhelp.org/files/EAD80A...F7-8FDA-644CD8AF052E/divorce-brochure-f16.pdf

You can file for divorce while pregnant in Hawaii BUT it won't finalize until the baby is born.

You might want to get a consultation from a lawyer. He shouldn't find you at the shelter as they are all anonymous and they don't post their locations. At least in my experience they are that way so that abusers can't find people. I stayed in one for a night when I told my ex husband we're done. They had me meet somewhere and then call and then gave me directions to get there. Me and my daughter stayed there. I hope I never have to do that again it was horrible.

Can you leave while pregnant and married? As far as I've read in quick searches yes. But once he finds out the baby is born, he can file for custody. It might be more complicated if you move out of the country.

Birth Abroad

Is Your Child a U.S. Citizen if Born Abroad?

So that kid is only a US citizen if born in Germany if his or father does the paperwork on it.

Hawaii is a no fault state for divorce. You don't have to have proof of abuse or any reason to do it.

A protection order is nothing more than a piece of paper but if he came near you, then he could be arrested if you had it. How far along are you?

Talk to the lawyer again and see what he or she says.

 

[army judge]

If you go to Germany NOW, there's NOTHING he can do to you.
Unmarried males who allege to father babies have ZERO paternal rights.

Unmarried males must go to court AFTER the baby's birth to ATTEMPT to establish paternity.

Waiting until the baby is born is foolish in your case.

You don't owe your abuser anything, not a goodbye, not a sorry it didn't work out, NOTHING.

You owe your fetus EVERYTHING for years to come.

You certainly don't want that SAVAGE BEAST pounding you and baby until the baby is born with medical issues, and you endure his violence, too.

Buy a ticket, get on a plane, and get back to Germany while you still can.

The savage beast isn't going to chase you.

He'll just find more naive women to woo, impregnate, and batter.

 

[leslie82]

If you go to Germany NOW, there's NOTHING he can do to you.
Unmarried males who allege to father babies have ZERO paternal rights.

Unmarried males must go to court AFTER the baby's birth to ATTEMPT to establish paternity.

Waiting until the baby is born is foolish in your case.

You don't owe your abuser anything, not a goodbye, not a sorry it didn't work out, NOTHING.

You owe your fetus EVERYTHING for years to come.

You certainly don't want that SAVAGE BEAST pounding you and baby until the baby is born with medical issues, and you endure his violence, too.

Buy a ticket, get on a plane, and get back to Germany while you still can.

The savage beast isn't going to chase you.

He'll just find more naive women to woo, impregnate, and batter.

Except they are married. Direct quote from the OP: "I married an American and got pregnant."
"I am trying to tell my husband to get professionell help but he refuses to see that he's doing anything wrong."

So right now they're married. I think that changes things a little bit. From what I read a pregnant married woman can leave the country but things get dicey once the baby is born and she's still married. She can file for divorce in Hawaii but it won't finalize until the baby is born.

 

[army judge]

Except they are married. Direct quote from the OP: "I married an American and got pregnant."
"I am trying to tell my husband to get professionell help but he refuses to see that he's doing anything wrong."

So right now they're married. I think that changes things a little bit. From what I read a pregnant married woman can leave the country but things get dicey once the baby is born and she's still married. She can file for divorce in Hawaii but it won't finalize until the baby is born.

It only makes a difference AFTER the baby is born in Germany.
Once the baby is born in Germany, he/she becomes a German citizen.

Then the deadbeat, batterer, woman beater, abuser has to ravel to Germany to seek any remedies.

The German government would be very reluctant to order a German citizen to return to the US to attend to this.

Yes, it happens when the people involved are wealthy.

A man don't own a woman, even when the woman is married to the man.

The woman is FREE to go anywhere on this planet that allows her to enter.

Right now there is NO baby, only a fetus, that in most places is viewed only as something to KILL.

As far as divorce, she can file for that in Germany or any EU member nation.

Heck, she can even go to any other EU member state instead of Germany, file for divorce and let the bum try to chase her.

Don't think for one minute that too many males (like the beater, batterer) would even bother to chase her or the baby.

I'm sure you know that very well, my friend.

 

[leslie82]

It only makes a difference AFTER the baby is born in Germany.
Once the baby is born in Germany, he/she becomes a German citizen.

Then the deadbeat, batterer, woman beater, abuser has to ravel to Germany to seek any remedies.

The German government would be very reluctant to order a German citizen to return to the US to attend to this.

Yes, it happens when the people involved are wealthy.

A man don't own a woman, even when the woman is married to the man.

The woman is FREE to go anywhere on this planet that allows her to enter.

Right now there is NO baby, only a fetus, that in most places is viewed only as something to KILL.

As far as divorce, she can file for that in Germany or any EU member nation.

Heck, she can even go to any other EU member state instead of Germany, file for divorce and let the bum try to chase her.

Don't think for one minute that too many males (like the beater, batterer) would even bother to chase her or the baby.

I'm sure you know that very well, my friend.

I know that a man or woman does not own their spouse and I know very well about being married to an abusive person. But you stated that unmarried males have no rights to children. They are married - that's all I was pointing out.

 

[army judge]

I know that a man or woman does not own their spouse and I know very well about being married to an abusive person. But you stated that unmarried males have no rights to children. They are married - that's all I was pointing out.

Roger that.

I hope the woman takes herself and her baby as far away as she can, two oceans (Pacific and Atlantic) just might be far enough.