No, you are the legal guardian (parent) of the child, pursuant to a court order.
I suggest you ask the police to meet with you at his house.
Or, visit the police station and speak with the desk officer.
Take the court order, and explain what happened.
Essentially, her father is violating the court order.
He's not the only one violating the custody rider, either.
Want a hint? LOOK IN ANY MIRROR, YEAH, YOU.
Don't sign or agree to anything.
If you both want the court order changed, off to court you go, and argue it before the judge.
In the meantime, if you don't fix this, by getting your chid back ASAP, you could end up losing her to the state.
A 14 year old child doesn't get to decide where she lives.
Be a mom, fix this, or DCFS, COS, or whatever initials they use in NY, could snatch the child and put her in foster care.