Kissing a minor(17) and I'm 19

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Cluelessdude81

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Hi my names Phill, I help teach at a school for a year now and I seen student come and go and I see this really cute girl. Shes beem facing problems with her current relationship for the semester and later they broke up. I started talking to her and helping her out and she started to like me so it was perfect. Weve been talking around 2 month and I wanted to take her out to dates and such but she would always stood me up so this happened ongoing for a month and I told her that I did not want to be close at all. We werent official and the only thing ive done is just a peck of a kiss and thats it, i have never made out with her. Ive not had sex and toucned her in anyway. She touched me though in public and told her she shouldnt because of that and told me thag I should get used to it. She is a senior and is 17 and was going to turn 18 in april. When I told her I didnt want to be intimate with her anymore she filed a complaint on me and I am suspended from my work. I have all the conversation of your txt through facebook and my phone to prove my innocence that I did no harm. I just need some advice because I don't want this on my records or what will happen to me...
 
I help teach at a school

Therefore, she was totally off limits and even that peck of a kiss is enough to get you fired.
 
If you are asking whether your current employer can tell prospective employers what happened, the answer is yes, they can.

You're supposed to be the adult. Just because someone comes on to you doesn't mean you have to respond.
 
You don't happen to be in a union with the teachers do you? You could talk to the union rep.

If you get fired, no one can stop you from talking to a lawyer. However, in my opinion, your chances of getting your job back would be slim.
 
The place i teach is where high school students go for extra credits. Its an ROP facility. I'm an nonclassified worker and we dont have unions there nor the teachers i think but i do have a union rep with my other job and Im worried that I would lose my actual job. The place i teach is just extra work for me to make some extra money. I just dont want like a felony or misdeamnor to go on my records or basically anything on my records!
 
Phillipnoogen said:
The place i teach is where high school students go for extra credits. Its an ROP facility. I'm an nonclassified worker and we dont have unions there nor the teachers i think but i do have a union rep with my other job and Im worried that I would lose my actual job. The place i teach is just extra work for me to make some extra money. I just dont want like a felony or misdeamnor to go on my records or basically anything on my records!
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Your worries could get worse.

You MIGHT be charged criminally.

Children, even 17 year and 11 month 29 day olds, are still children.

Yeah, yeah, Romeo & Juliet, why get caught up in the net?

Keep your hands off of anyone that isn't 18 and has shown you PROOF.

In some cases, you can get branded as a sexual offender; that stain follows you for your life.

I am not accusing you, but there are plenty of girls above the age of 18.

Consider this: Don't sh*t where you eat.

http://teenadvice.about.com/library/weekly/qanda/blageofconsentchart.htm

http://www.ageofconsent.com/california.htm
 
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I just read the age of consent. It all deals with if i had intercourse with the minor. I have not had intercourse with her at all or any groping at all. The only thing I've done was just a kiss, not even a french kiss. Just a peck and thats it.
 
Look, pal, there is such a thing as exercising good judgment. As I said above, just because a girl comes onto you doesn't mean you have to respond.

If you didn't have the good judgment to say no, then that's just too bad for you. Whining that it's all her fault doesn't exactly make you look like a responsible adult either.

Can you fight it if you get fired? Sure, you can fight it if you want to waste a lot of time and money. IMO, you haven't got a prayer of prevailing, but it's your time and money to waste.

You were in a position of authority and your behavior with a student was inappropriate for the situation. That's grounds for firing no matter how you slice it.
 
Phillipnoogen said:
I just read the age of consent. It all deals with if i had intercourse with the minor. I have not had intercourse with her at all or any groping at all. The only thing I've done was just a kiss, not even a french kiss. Just a peck and thats it.
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UNLESS, she says differently, as they often do.

That said, you have the RIGHT to remain silent, if charged criminally.

As a school employee, there are other barriers you should not have crossed.

But, allegations must be proven.

It is time to let those that are ACCUSING you, prove their case.

If you keep talking, you assist them in LYNCHING you.
 
Just read your most recent post. Do you even understand that we're not talking about "age of consent", we're talking about inappropriate behavior? It doesn't matter a damn that you didn't have intercourse with her. It doesn't matter a damn that it wasn't a French kiss. YOU WERE IN A POSITION OF AUTHORITY AND YOU KISSED A STUDENT. That is a HUGE no-no.

Grow up and learn to keep your hand, lips, and all other body parts off the students.
 
With respect, AJ, while the allegations must be proven for any kind of criminal case, he can be fired without any kind of proof at all.
 
cbg said:
With respect, AJ, while the allegations must be proven for any kind of criminal case, he can be fired without any kind of proof at all.
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I agree.

I was just putting him on notice that losing his job would be the BEST outcome for him.

He can kiss that job goodbye.
 
This would not be an illegal termination if you are fired - don't see where you would prevail in a case. In at-will employment you can be terminated at any time for any reason except a reason prohibited by law (ie age, religion, gender....) or unless you have a binding employment contract or CBA to the contrary.

This is a very good reason for termination.
 
As described, this doesn't violate any California criminal statute.
The school can certainly enforce its own policy regarding employment standards. You should expect to be terminated. The school has too much at risk if they don't terminate you and your inappropriate behavior with students continues.
I suspect you will have difficulty getting a job at another school for quite awhile.
 
I got news for you buddy, what you did was highly inappropriate and unprofessional when looked at in the best possible light. Part of your job is to enforce boundaries and role model appropriate behavior. You did not even come close. 17 year olds do not always know how to conduct themselves as adults or what is and is not appropriate. They are little bundles of hormones and still learning how to channel those feelings and learning to differentiate between newly discovered romantic feelings, friendships and acquaintances with whom you have a positive relationship. YOU are the adult and YOU are the one who needs help establish those roles. As an authority figure, the first two options should be totally off the table. From purely a professional standpoint, you can not be objective if you are too close. It is neither ethical, nor helpful to the student.

I volunteer with teenagers. I have since I was 18. Over the years I have developed friendships with the kids I coach, but after they have graduated and I am no longer coaching them. I spend a lot of time talking to them about boundaries. While she is stil under your guidance and authority it is not possible to have a balanced and equal relationship. When you took the job, you needed to be prepared to handle "hero worship" and misinterpreted or displaced feelings. If you can not do that, you need to find another line of work. While in everyday life, a nearly 18 year old and a 19 year old may have a lot in common and eventually be able to develop a stable and healthy relationship, you met under different circumstances and those inequalities continue.

I also work for a school system and I can tell you that in most states, what you did is required by law to be reported to CPS. It would also be grounds for immediate termination and neither a contract nor the union would save you. It is that serious.
 
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