Joint custody but Mother left the state

[MICHAEL A ANDREWS]

Jurisdiction

New York

Great Evening. I am needing direction on my approach to court. I have been divorced for 5 years with joint custody of our son. Mom has residential(agreed upon at the time) however we deviated from parental agreement 3 years ago(Son lives with me and goes to school in my area). I allowed c/s to continue due to his food diet because of allergies( Son would go to Mom every weekend and holiday agreement stayed the same). Son is 13 years old now and Mom left the state and is not returning. Son advised me she had asked him if he wanted to come to South Carolina with her this past August ( I was unaware and he thought I knew). In short, she has not helped with his dental bills as was part of our agreement for months and I have confirmed she left (via text). What should I do 1st in order to stop the child support or do I have to go for residential custody (or sole custody)? Please advise

 

[army judge]

You need to hire a lawyer to secure sole custody of the child and address the issue of child support.

I wouldn't expect a deadbeat to suddenly become responsible.

Fortunately the mother's abandonment of the child will serve you well.

Good luck raising your child.

 

[zddoodah]

Petition the court to modify the existing divorce decree in whatever ways are appropriate based on the changed circumstances.

 

[shrinkmaster]

You need to seek legal counsel not a website

 

[MICHAEL A ANDREWS]

Thanks for the previous advice. I went to court yesterday for a custody change, modification of c/s and new c/s order. I now need to get an address to have her served(Process server). Can I scan the 3 petitions or does she need to be served the original certified prints from the court?

 

[army judge]

however we deviated from parental agreement 3 years ago(Son lives with me and goes to school in my area)

She could turn this against you.

You are BOTH violating the existing court order.

If either of you or both of you wish to ALTER the existing order, you must do so legally.

You can BOTH agree to a change, but you then must go back to court to make sure the change is legal.

Judges encourage divorced parents to work out their differences, so getting a judge to approve your changes would be easy.

You simply draft the proposed order and you both go to court to seek the judge's approval.

If you continue to make changes, implement those changes, and NOT seek the court's approval; you BOTH risk incurring the wrath of the judge.

3 petitions or does she need to be served the original certified prints from the court?

I suggest you reduce your THREE petitions to ONE petition containing all three items.

If you BOTH agree, you should have no trouble obtaining the judge's NEW approved court order.

 

[shrinkmaster]

Thanks for the previous advice. I went to court yesterday for a custody change, modification of c/s and new c/s order. I now need to get an address to have her served(Process server). Can I scan the 3 petitions or does she need to be served the original certified prints from the court?

Use the court approved means to serve

 

[MICHAEL A ANDREWS]

She could turn this against you.

You are BOTH violating the existing court order.

If either of you or both of you wish to ALTER the existing order, you must do so legally.

You can BOTH agree to a change, but you then must go back to court to make sure the change is legal.

Judges encourage divorced parents to work out their differences, so getting a judge to approve your changes would be easy.

You simply draft the proposed order and you both go to court to seek the judge's approval.

If you continue to make changes, implement those changes, and NOT seek the court's approval; you BOTH risk incurring the wrath of the judge.




I suggest you reduce your THREE petitions to ONE petition containing all three items.

If you BOTH agree, you should have no trouble obtaining the judge's NEW approved court order.

It had to be three (as I was told) . 1 is a petition to change as you stated the existing residential custody order. 2 is one to terminate the existing child support order. 3 is to establish the new child support order for the Mom to pay to me provided yes that she agrees without contest to giving residential custody to me. The custody court date (1/3/19) is before the child support court date (1/16 both same day same judge).

 

[army judge]

1 is a petition to change as you stated the existing residential custody order.

If drafted, served, and argued properly; you're likely to prevail.

2 is one to terminate the existing child support order.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

The state rarely allows anyone to escape paying child support, even if the person was incarcerated.

However, if the Grim Reaper were to come "reaping", the state has to allow the deceased an exemption.

3 is to establish the new child support order for the Mom to pay to me provided yes that she agrees without contest to giving residential custody to me.

LOL, mate, many have been promised the same thing.

Custody isn't gained because one agrees to pay child support.
The court might see this as a "quid pro quo" which in some matters is acceptable.
In matters concerning children, the court tends to frown upon such agreements.

Alas, nothing from nothing as Billy Preston sang in 1974 said it best:

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin' if you wanna be with me

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin' if you wanna be with me

I'm not tryna be your hero
'Cause that zero is too cold for me, brrr

I'm not tryin' to be your highness
'Cause that minus is too low to see, yeah

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
And I'm not stuffin', believe you me

Don't you remember I told ya
I'm a soldier in the war on poverty, yeah, yes, I am

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin' if you wanna be with me, oh baby

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin' if you wanna be with me

That's right, ha yeah
Gotta have somethin' if you wanna be with me
You gotta bring me somethin', girl, if you wanna be with me

Good luck mate.

 

[army judge]

Can I scan the 3 petitions or does she need to be served the original certified prints from the court?

Personal service by a process server or law enforcement officer is always the best form of service.

Barring that option, service by registered or certified mail often works, UNLESS the party refuses to accept such service.

If the person has no permanent address, that stymies such efforts.

 

[MICHAEL A ANDREWS]

Personal service by a process server or law enforcement officer is always the best form of service.

Barring that option, service by registered or certified mail often works, UNLESS the party refuses to accept such service.

If the person has no permanent address, that stymies such efforts.

Great Morning, thanks for the advice as the judge reamed in on the fact that she left WITHOUT getting my consent(something I was completely unaware of) and the fact that she made NO attempt to give me any of the child support money that she was getting from me. It goes without saying as a man it is HARD to go to court when you feel so much is in favor of the Woman. But what was at stake was our on feeling secure and that he had a stake in where he wanted to be, so I needed to stand up for him. I'm glad we received favorable results. Now on to terminate the c/s and hopefully get back what she was not sending back from me...we'll see...Thanks for the good start