Is this harassment?

[cenccrn]

I am a nurse of 36 years. I have been employed at the same hospital for 14+ years. I hold many certifications and qualifications. My nursing quality by everyones admission is beyond reproach as is my knowledge and patient care. However over the past few years I have been "counseled" a number of times for having difficulty getting along with my coworkers. The long and the short of this is that I am accused of not having a positive attitude, of using negative body language and not treating all staff with dignity and respect. Now all this is fine except that I am absolutely denied the opportunity to be given any facts, times specific comments nor to be told who is making the accusations. I am just simply told that I must come up with a plan to 1. Refrain from making inappropriate remarks...even though I am not told what the remarks are. 2) Work with team in a positive manner 3) Demonstrate receptiveness to others 4)Treat all staff with dignity and respect and professionalism 5) Assume responsibility for my behaviors and actions.

I have tried to be positive and cheerful and helpful. I go to work with a positive attitude every day as I love my work. I just can not make any sense out of these vague requests and especially when I am not told what the behaviors are or who is making the accusations? What do I do?

What are the legal elements or Harassment?

Is this harassment?

 

[muggsyj]

THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE!

Hello,

First of all, you must try not to let this play on your mind so much.
My mother has been a nurse for many years and has simualar situations crop up.
You see we all get very involved in our work and when we have spent many a year doing things a certian way, we all can often seem a little abrubt without realising it.
No I am not saying you are abrubt but I recently had this conversation with my mother.
I have seen her at work! the more,,lets say,, junior staff see her as agressive and abrupt sometimes but do not realise she likes to keep a tight ship and will not suffer things to be done with the namby pamby approch or suffer fools gladly.
I feel by taking an outsiders view on things i have helped her out a bit because I can see how she is sometimes percived but alas she could not, but i also know she has a heart of gold

So I will try to explain as i did to her.

Every individual has different up bringings and different ways of life, what some see as good the other see as bad, no matter how trivial to one person a situation seems it maybe major to another.
In life we have to learn compromise. This is the key factor to get though life unscaved. Your situation as i percieve it from the convasation is that you cant see any wrong and your colleges dont want to compromise and would rather seek advice from else where. This is where one end of the situation has to give way or we all end up here in your postion you are facing.
So it is <a href="back%20to%20basics" onmouseover="window.status='back to basics'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">back to basics</a>, try and go to work with a compleatly different attitude; take some cakes in for your fellow workers and when they ask why you done it, or what is the occasion? try this.

In the most CALMEST way possible.

"I brought cakes in to bridge a gap that needs filling, somewhere along the line someone or some people have found my attitude or behavior against the grain. I love my Job and all the staff that i work with and think you all do a fantastic job and would be devestated to loose any one of you. I do not want anyone to think any different of me. We all work here as a team with the same perpose, I would like to put this situation behind us all and not let anything stand between us. I am not bothered who said what and when, I just want to lay it to rest."

If there is any more situations that need to be sorted suggest a "suggestion box" and have a weekly meeting. There are lots and lots of ways things can be delt with, but always first it should be the most positive, productive and peacefull method.

All the above is only an insight into a different aproch and legal advice it not the way forward in your situation as i see it.

On a more personal note I feel you should be walking around with you head held high. Anyone that works in the public sector deserves a big pat on the back, you all do a fantastic job and the world we be compleatly at a loss if it was not for people like yourself.

You take good care and try to not let anything get you down, Like i say to everyone tomorrow it will all be history and time will heal your wounds.

Hope this has helped out a bit

Yours truly

Mark.

 

[cbg]

What you describe does not come even close to meeting the definition of illegal harassment.

Unless you are being singled out for negative feedback BECAUSE OF your race, religion, national origin, gender, disability, pregnancy or because you are over 40, it is not illegal. Nothing in the law says that your employer cannot provide you with negative feedback; nothing says that you have to be given specific details; they are particularly not required to tell you who is complaining about you.

 

[Beth3]

cenccrn, as cbg told you, this is not any form of prohibited harassment.

What you are in need of in order to correct the perceived problem though is specific and immediate feedback so you can identify the behaviors in the moment that are sending the wrong message. I suggest you do two things:

(1) schedule some time to visit with your supervisor and tell her that if she sees you doing or saying anything that comes across as having a negative attitude, to please tell you immediately as it's the only way you're going to be able to recognize what you are inadvertently doing. Hopefully, you will get some good feedback but at the very least you will impress upon your boss that you honestly are trying.

(2) If you have several colleagues who you respect and trust, ask them to please do the same. Now you are going to have to convince them that you really want this feedback and that you're going to welcome their constructive criticism. So if the first time a co-worker tells you "Hey, Jane, when you were talking to that Respiratory Tech just now, you came off as a real witch," you cannot get defensive, alibi, snap back, etc. If you do, you're doomed. What you have to do is thank the co-worker for sharing that and ask him or her to tell you (or demonstrate) exactly what they observed, be it facial expression, tone of voice, body posture, and so on. 90% of what we communicate to each other is non-verbal so chances are good that whatever the problem is is not what you are saying, it's something you are doing.

Good luck.

 

[muggsyj]

THIS IS NO LEGAL ADVICE!



Now, i still after reading all that think that cakes would be a nicer approch.
You see some people just need to talk there problems through, we are all a bit too quick to judge people by there questions. All that was asked as i see it was "Is this Harrasment"

If i ask someone the way to a destination because I am lost, should they give me a third degree on how to by a map and what one is for?

It is your choice now you seem to have Three answers, "Lucky Person"


Take Care

Mark.