In-Laws will not move out of my house

[joleen]

My in-laws were fired from their job 7 months ago. My husband and I agreed to let them stay here a couple of months to save up and get their own place. A couple of months have came and went. I pushed my husband to find out when they were leaving or what their plan was. They said they would be out in January. It is now March and I am at my wits end with them here. They pay NO rent, no bills, and buy a few groceries for themselves. We provide everything. They are recieving their mail here. They even changed their drivers's license to this address. The situation is causing a major strain in our marriage. He feels obligated to help and I am fed up. He confronted them about their "plan" again and they informed him that they have no money saved and can't afford anything on $1400 a month. My father in law gets workman's comp and my mother in law recieves unemployment benefits. I told my husband that she could find a job and that would increase their monthly pay. I am sick to my stomach because they sleep all day like teenagers and don't help al all around our home. We have 4 kids and I can see the strain and embarrassment it is causing them. I know that my father in law is leaving the house several times a day to smoke illegal drugs. (meth) I am very embarrassed. We worked hard to buy our home and give our children a better life than we had. We live in a very nice neighborhood. There are drs., firefighters, etc that can see his odd behavior. I know that they can see it but are still friendly. My husband works out of town 3 days a week so this is the time my father in law is the worse. Coming in all hours of the night, watching porn in his van, cleaning his van late at night. I am so sickened by the whole thing. It is a nightmare. I tell my husband all the things he does and he has to yell at him like a little kid. He does tell him to knock it off and gets serious with him. My father in law will behave a few days and then when my husband goes back to work....he starts again. I know I have told you alot but the situation here is a nightmare. I fear what type of people may come looking for him. I want to get them out of my house. Can I legally do this? Also what if I want to do it and my husband does not? Both names on title of house but all the bills are in my name. I am not a monster but this is not a happy home at the moment. They have been here 7months and I want to make them leave by April15th. I no longer want to help people who don't even try to help themselves.

 

[army judge]

They don't pay rent. Fortunately, that could be your saving grace.

They are guests, and not tenants. They have no rights to stay without your permission.

But, your problem is your husband. I can understand his reluctance to boot his parents. But, I don't think he comprehends the gravity of the situation.

Beyond the irritations and raw emotions you're rightfully feeling, you need to make your husband understand just how serious this has gotten. His dad is abusing a very dangerous and illegal drug. That drug makes his decisions even more suspect.

You're right to be angry. This situation can cause you to lose your home. If he's using that crap, he's probably got it around your home.

Your MIL is likely using drugs, too. This clouds their judgment. They could also have diseases that could make your children ill.

Meth has been known to cause some people to commit sexual crimes. You already know about the porn.

You need to speak with your husband. You need to plead with him to protect you and his children. Ask him to order his mother and father out, immediately. Don't let them stay until April 15. Bad things could happen.

Finally, if hubby refuses to cooperate, tell him you and your kids will leave. You should then go to a safe place (your parents, siblings, etc...) if he isn't going to kick his folks out.

Please, don't give up. Let me know what happens. Don't be scared, and stay strong for your family. If this doesn't go well, get back to me. I've got a couple more trick you can try!!! God bless.

 

[CdwJava]

I pushed my husband to find out when they were leaving or what their plan was. They said they would be out in January. It is now March and I am at my wits end with them here. They pay NO rent, no bills, and buy a few groceries for themselves. We provide everything. They are recieving their mail here. They even changed their drivers's license to this address.

That can be a sticky wicket.

Do they have a room of their own? Do you have free and unrestricted access to that room?

I want to get them out of my house. Can I legally do this?

You can ask them to go, but forcing them out is going to be a much more difficult proposition. The police are unlikely to boot them out for you absent a court order given the fact that they have a pretty good argument for residency.

Also what if I want to do it and my husband does not? Both names on title of house but all the bills are in my name.

Doesn't matter. If they are there as his guests, they can stay. This will be a civil matter and you may very well have to evict them.

I am not a monster but this is not a happy home at the moment. They have been here 7months and I want to make them leave by April15th. I no longer want to help people who don't even try to help themselves.

I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, the situation has deteriorated to a point where they may no longer be considered guests that can be kicked out without a problem, they are residents. Law enforcement is very reluctant to get in the middle of these situations, and it may require a court order to move them out. But, if your husband opposes it and allows them to stay, then you and your husband need to have a serious discussion - perhaps an ultimatum is in order.

 

[bluemann33]

Agree. Talk to your husband, the drugs around your family is no good. Give them a out date and if you have to go to court. Good luck.

 

[joleen]

Thank you for understanding. I too believe that my MIL is using. I thought maybe she was a little "off". Now that she is in my house and I see her actions I suspect it too. She goes on these cleaning sprees every 3-4 days. She sweats and can't stand still. Even if she is cooking or washing dishes. I have looked up the signs of an addict and they fit her to a tee. I use to think she got depressed because she would sleep for 2-3 days at a time, only to get up to use the bathroom or refil her monster/koolaid drink that she drinks non-stop. Also, she goes out in the backyard 4-5times a day/night to smoke and look at the stars. SHe takes binoculars with her and swears that the government is "spraying fumes" in the atmosphere. She also told me a story about my 10yr old son sleep walking into her room. I told her she was mistaken and maybe had dreamt it. Maybe she took one of my FIL's Ambiens. She told me no it happened. I informed her I was awake at the time and I would of heard my son run down stairs, into her room, and shout something and then run back upstairs. I really am afraid to be here alone at night. As soon as I go to sleep I hear them downstairs. I haven't even mentioned all the things that have happened around here. In Dec. my FIL's van got broken into. He left the doors unlocked so it was his fault. I was surprised because we live in the safest, cleanest, quietest neighborhood. Then, the neighbor across the street came over to talk to my husband. This was a week after the "break-in." She told my husband that she had noticed on 2 seperate occassions a certain car sitting in front of our house. It was around 12-1am when she was returning home from work. She deliberately shined her lights on the car and the man ducked down. She thought this was suspicious so she wanted to bring it to our attention. I told my husband that these weird incidents never happened before his parents came. And, out of all the nice cars in the neighborhood, why would someone want to look in his dad's 10yr old van? His dad is also on Vicodin because of a shoulder surgery and two hernia surgeries. This is part of the reason why he is not working. We have tried to be patient but even with the surgeries he will manage to sneak out of the house. Most of the time he doesn't even tell his wife he's gone. He creeps me out. Sometimes I think he's in his room and out of nowhere...boom! He comes around the corner from a different part of the house. IN THE DARK!!!! I even ask him "where were you?" "I didn't see you here/there." He then will try to say, "oh yeah I was, I was in the bathroom" or whatever is convienient at that moment. I have found trash bags full of porn hidden in my garage, a trash bag with woman's shoes and some underware, a duffel bag with handcuffs, underware and I won't mention what else. I told him before they even moved into my home that I did not want ANY porn in my house. He agreed and my husband was behind me on that issue. We have 2 teenage daughters in our home. They are even uneasy with him. Then, I found a trash bag on the SIDE OF MY HOUSE!!!! Again, woman's shoes and one pair of underware. I tell my MIL about it and she says "oh yeah he was going to give that to so and so" or "he's taking that bag of porn to so and so to sell. She always defends him. Always an excuse. I have put a lock on my gate so he can't sneak out that way anymore. He has to go through the front door. Which he does. The front window screen was even half of the window and the window ledge was filthy. I won't swear it was him, but, I have my suspicions. I know this sounds unbelievable but it is true. How can two 60ish adults still be living this lifestyle? I am desperate. I am already having thoughts of "maybe if he gets arrested, or caught?" Jail is a better place for him. I am sorry to ramble but really at a dead end. I try not to tell my husband everything because I can see it straining him. I have told him that it's not safe here for us and mentioned that what is next? How far does it really have to go before he opens his eyes? It has already gone too far. I was ready to throw them out the first two weeks they were here. I told him that my parents were moving in too. I told him it wasn't fair that my parents have to pay rent and bills so they were going to move in too. I was kidding though. I have threatened to leave but have no where to go. My parents home is a small 1 bedroom in a different town. I have 4kids to take to school and sports. I even told my husband to get out. He said he would but couldn't take his parents because he would probably stay with a co-worker. I told him to forget that ideal because he wasn't leaving them here with me. His parents and I hardly speak. I only talk to his mother. I stay upstairs in my room until my kids come home. A prisoner in MY OWN HOME is what I have become.

 

[joleen]

They have their own room. I do have access to it. I have given ultimatum to my husband. I think he chooses not to deal with it. He has approached them before and got in some heavy arguments with them but they are still here. It's not fair to my family. How much is fair? How much time do they expect us to give them? They have no shame and are selfish. I believe I have been more than patient. Everyone tells me to just kick them out and not put up with it. It's not that easy because it has caused a wedge between my husband and I already. So many arguments and tears have came and gone over their stay. I don't know if the police would believe me. They might just think I am a bitter DIL trying to boot out her inlaws.

 

[CdwJava]

It's not so much what the police believe, but whether the officers that respond feel that they are on solid legal ground to ask these folks to leave. The more they can show this to be their home, the more likely the police will not act to remove them absent a court order.

One possible scenario might be that they address this as trespassing. You demand they leave, they refuse, you sign a private person's arrest. That way the police can pass the legal burden back on to you, they issue a citation, and let a judge decide later. But, they would not be trespassing if your husband says they can stay.

Until your husband is on board with this, you likely will not be able to get them out unless you do so behind your husband's back when he is away

 

[mightymoose]

If they have already been there a couple months then you will have to evict them. It does not matter one bit that they don't pay rent. You won't be able to simply boot them out without opening yourself to some liability. Follow the proper procedure. there is likely a self-help center at your local court that can guide you through the process.

 

[army judge]

This idea has worked for some of my clients in the past.

Offer to pay their rent in a motel for a couple of weeks or even a month. Help them move ALL of their crap to the motel. Give them $200-300 seed money.

While you are moving them, have a locksmith change all of your locks and security codes.


Do NOT even allow them to visit you. Meet them in a coffee shop, restaurant, park; but never allow them into
your home again!!!!



These pests are gone forever. You have your home and life back. Sometimes ya' gotta pay to play!

 

[bluemann33]

Yea, paying some money now to get them out immediatly would deff. be worth it. Get the drugies out of those kids life asap.