Assault & Battery I screwed up

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christinac

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I made a big mistake. My husband and I got into an argument and I called the cops. He didn't hit me or anything, I just wanted attention. I told the cops he threatened me and they arrested him. Afterwards they told me I needed to file for an Order of Protection. I was under the impression that I HAD to, so I did. Now we can't see each other at all and it's putting a huge strain on our relationship. I went to the judge and asked to get it removed and she said no. So I went in the next day to try again, and the clerk of the court said I could ask again on Monday, but she's never heard of one being lifted. The order is good for 60 days.

I feel really bad about this, I was sooo stupid. After reading some advice online from another site, I called the police officer up that arrested my husband and told him I wanted to Correct my Statement. I told him that I was upset, angry and not thinking clearly and that I stretched the truth a little bit unintentionally. I told him I didn't want to get in trouble for filing a false police report and that is why I was calling him, because after having a few days to cool off, think clearly and reassess the actions of that day, I know my husband wasn't being threatening and shouldn't have been arrested.

He told me he understood completely and appreciated me trying to correct it, and that he wasn't going to go after me for filing a false police report, but he said he had already turned the report into the city prosecutor and there was nothing he could do. He advised me to go into talk to the city attorney on Monday and explain to her exactly what I had told him and she might drop the charges against my husband. By the way, I forgot to say he was charged with Assault by Threat. If she won't drop the charges I'm hoping I will be allowed to go into court on my husbands court date and testify on his behalf. He will be representing himself because we can't afford a lawyer right now.

I just don't know what to do. I was hoping when I talked to the judge last week she would lift the order of protection, but she was pretty stubborn on that. I'm trying to tell people I made a huge mistake, was emotional and caught up in the moment and nobody will listen to me. It's like they are out for blood on my husband. And he's a great guy. He has been by my side for everything I have ever had a problem with. He has been as patient as I have ever heard of every time I get in a bad mood and try and pick fights with him. He isn't even mad at me for what I did to him this time. He is not an angry or aggressive person at all, I am though. He doesn't deserve this and I want to stick by his side this time like all the times he has been by mine. If anyone has any advice about what I should do about the city attorney and judge not listening to me and dropping all this, please let me know. Thanks.
 
Your husband can make use of the public defender if he can't afford an attorney. He absolutely should not attempt to represent himself- that would be plain stupid.

It is not unusual for victim's of domestic violence, or even in less sever cases like this, to change their minds after someone is arrested. It often is not because of stretching the truth, as you put it, but because of other underlying fears for being the person responsible for the incarceration.

Bottom line- you are not responsible for your husband going to jail, he is. A police officer found probable cause to make the arrest. If the charge is not dropped by the DA for lack of evidence (which will probably be the case unless there is a prior history here) then it will be up to a jury to determine the truth of the matter, and you will have to convince them that you initially lied to the police when your husband was arrested.

There are many legal resources and counseling services available for domestic violence situations. You should probably make use of them.
 
mightymoose said:
Your husband can make use of the public defender if he can't afford an attorney. He absolutely should not attempt to represent himself- that would be plain stupid.

It is not unusual for victim's of domestic violence, or even in less sever cases like this, to change their minds after someone is arrested. It often is not because of stretching the truth, as you put it, but because of other underlying fears for being the person responsible for the incarceration.

Bottom line- you are not responsible for your husband going to jail, he is. A police officer found probable cause to make the arrest. If the charge is not dropped by the DA for lack of evidence (which will probably be the case unless there is a prior history here) then it will be up to a jury to determine the truth of the matter, and you will have to convince them that you initially lied to the police when your husband was arrested.

There are many legal resources and counseling services available for domestic violence situations. You should probably make use of them.
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mightymoose said:
It is not unusual for victim's of domestic violence, or even in less sever cases like this, to change their minds after someone is arrested. It often is not because of stretching the truth, as you put it, but because of other underlying fears for being the person responsible for the incarceration.

Bottom line- you are not responsible for your husband going to jail, he is. A police officer found probable cause to make the arrest. If the charge is not dropped by the DA for lack of evidence (which will probably be the case unless there is a prior history here) then it will be up to a jury to determine the truth of the matter, and you will have to convince them that you initially lied to the police when your husband was arrested.

There are many legal resources and counseling services available for domestic violence situations. You should probably make use of them.
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First, I do not have underlying fears for being the person responsible for the incarceration. Second, my husband isn't responsible for going to jail. He wasn't even home when I called the cops. When he came home from work that day, I started arguing with him, and instead of sticking around and fighting with me, he left to go to a friends house while I calmed down.

His trial isn't before a jury, it is before a judge, so I have to convince the judge that I initially lied to police when my husband was arrested, which I have been trying to do, everyday. I am also going to talk to the prosecutor tomorrow and see if she will drop the charges.

As far as lying to police, I already called the officer to explain that I was angry and emotional when I called, and that I stretched the truth in order to get my husband arrested. He already told me he wasn't going to go after me for filing a false police report, because I made the step to call him and try and have it corrected with the truth.

As for your advice telling me I should seek legal resources and counseling because of domestic violence, let me say this. I am sick sick sick and tired of people who don't even know me trying to classify me as a victim. Not sure if this was where you were going with that or not. But on another legal forum I have people telling me stuff like, "You say you're not a victim, that is the first sign of a victim, therefore you must be a victim!" I am not in denial, and I have not been abused to the point where I have been brainwashed into thinking I'm not a victim. My husband is a good man. Our friends, neighbors, family, co-workers and everyone else who knows us personally, and knows enough of the situation to make an informed decision would say I'm anything but a victim. Then everyone on these forums keep telling me that I'm a victim without even knowing me, and saying stuff like "You're husband is going to do it again." and "You gotta leave him." If my family or friends who know us well enough was telling me that, I would listen, but they are all in agreement with thinking that my husband is a kind and loving man who would never hurt me, who has always been by my side, and what I did was messed up. So I am not a victim, and I'm not just saying that because I am a victim in denial or anything like that.



Does anyone know of a form that can be downloaded for a Motion to Dismiss? The pre-trial is tomorrow and after doing a lot of research I was thinking my husband could file a motion to dismiss due to lack of evidence. Besides the fact that I've repeatedly told the court, prosecutor, and police that the threat my husband allegedly made did not take place, even if it did take place (WHICH IT DIDN'T), it would still be my word against his, hearsay basically, and that would be lack of evidence because there was no witnesses??? So shouldn't he be able to file a motion to dismiss due to lack of evidence?
 
This is out of your hands.

All you can do is refuse to testify at your husband's trial.

If you do that, you could end up in legal jeopardy!

Proceed cautiously.

However, even telling the truth now could cause you big legal problem.

By the way, he is entitled to a jury trial.

He will get a lawyer paid for by the taxpayer's, if he asks the judge for one.

He should plead not guilty.

He should ask for a court appointed attorney.

He should make no statements about this matter.

He should speak about it only to his lawyer.

Both of you should comply with the order of protection.

One word of caution, the police officer can't promise you that you won't be prosecuted.

So,you have a choice to make.

If you made this up (for whatever reason), you'll likely be hearing more about this, if you don't cooperate on the witness stand.

You should speak with the local prosecutor or city attorney, ASAP. That is the one person that might be able to derail this runaway train.

I'm curious, if you don't mind, in what county did this occur?

Is hubby being charged in county court, municipal court, or district court?

What is hubby's bond?

Your answers will allow me to possibly help you further!!!
 
army judge said:
This is out of your hands.

All you can do is refuse to testify at your husband's trial.

If you do that, you could end up in legal jeopardy!

Proceed cautiously.

However, even telling the truth now could cause you big legal problem.

By the way, he is entitled to a jury trial.

He will get a lawyer paid for by the taxpayer's, if he asks the judge for one.

He should plead not guilty.

He should ask for a court appointed attorney.

He should make no statements about this matter.

He should speak about it only to his lawyer.

Both of you should comply with the order of protection.

One word of caution, the police officer can't promise you that you won't be prosecuted.

So,you have a choice to make.

If you made this up (for whatever reason), you'll likely be hearing more about this, if you don't cooperate on the witness stand.

You should speak with the local prosecutor or city attorney, ASAP. That is the one person that might be able to derail this runaway train.

I'm curious, if you don't mind, in what county did this occur?

Is hubby being charged in county court, municipal court, or district court?

What is hubby's bond?

Your answers will allow me to possibly help you further!!!
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Thanks for your reply. First, I was told I didn't have to testify at the trial, so I'm glad about that. I'm not being forced to testify, they said I didn't even have to be in court.

As far as telling the truth causing me a legal problem, my defense is, and I'm not just making it up either, is that when I made the statement I was upset and emotional and not thinking clearly. And that as soon as I calmed down and started thinking clearly I immediately started trying to get the truth out, by first talking to the judge, then talking to the arresting officer and telling him the truth and trying to Correct my Statement. I am trying to proceed very cautiously about this, but I can't keep lying about it to save my own skin.

I know he is entitled to a jury trial, but he opted out and asked for a judge trial.

Not so sure about getting a pre-paid lawyer just for asking for one. I am under the impression that it is difficult, a lot of hoops to jump through just to get one, as far as proving he can't afford one. That is why he decided to represent himself. He believes that if he did no wrong, if he is honest, then the truth will come out and he will be found innocent. Whether that is a good idea or not, I don't know. Probably not.

He hasn't made any statements to the matter and isn't planning on it.

I shouldn't have to worry about not cooperating on the witness stand, because I was told I don't even have to go to court.

I am going down to the city court at 9am to talk to the prosecutor first ting in the morning and telling her everything and hoping it can be derailed.

This occurred in Texas, USA and he is being tried in city court.

His bond was $500. This is a Class C Misdemeanor that is punishable by up to a $500 fine. So if he was found guilty, it wouldn't be the end of the world. But he has a clean record. Not even so much as a traffic ticket, and he is pretty determined to keep his record clean. It would probably be easier for him to plead guilty, pay $500 and be done with it. But he won't because he is innocent, and he wants to keep his record clean. EDIT: Also as I understand it, if he is found guilty he will never be allowed to own a hand gun. We don't own one now, and won't either with a kid in the house. But he doesn't want to loose his right to own one, which is another reason for not wanting to plead guilty.

I hope I answered all your questions fully. Thanks again.
 
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...there is also a child involved.

OP is stepmom.

Dad has custody.

Nobody is saying that child services WILL be involved - but as we've seen over and over, DV (whether it's a misdemeanor or not) by the CP can carry some very severe consequences.
 
This was only charged as a Class C misdemeanor, you are both lucky.

However, it has been charged as domestic violence.

If there is a child involved (not your bio kid, but his), it can eventually impact his custody rights.




You're right, it definitely rules out gun ownership and certain jobs.





I never recommend anyone going to criminal court without an attorney. Freedom isn't a DIY project.

This is a nasty mess that was created in anger.


Don't be surprised if it isn't wiped away as easily as you envision or desire.

There are many reasons that police agencies and courts all over our country take DV seriously.




All I can say is I hope this works out with the least amount of damage for all concerned.
 
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And this is why we don't call 911 when we need to be calling a therapist.

Law enforcement are NOT marriage counselors.

There is much growing up to be done by the adults concerned here.
 
I talked to the judge this morning and she said she'd think about lifting the order of protection, that I should check back later today and see what she decided. I think it went very well over all. She did say my husband and I are allowed to have contact and even be together in public, he is only not allowed to come within 500ft of my work or residence.

I talked to my husband and he went down to the courthouse for the pre-trial hearing today. He talked to the prosecutor and she offered him a plea agreement. He plead no-contest, paid a $500 fine, and took a deferred sentence. After 180 days if he doesn't get any tickets the charge goes away like it never happened. So now all I have to do is work on getting the order of protection lifted. I am heading back down to the courthouse now to see if I can pick up some kind of Affidavit to lift the order of protection. Not what we had hoped for, but since my husband has never in his life gotten a ticket before all this, he feels it shouldn't be a problem going another 180 days without getting any kind of tickets.
 
Wow. How "wonderful" for the poor child. How "proud" you must be for the particular influence you have had in her life. Dad must be "looking forward" to his return to your mentally-ill world.
 
Well, if you like it, I love it!

I suppose you'll be a bit more reluctant when it comes to seeking attention in the future, huh?

christinac said:
I talked to the judge this morning and she said she'd think about lifting the order of protection, that I should check back later today and see what she decided. I think it went very well over all. She did say my husband and I are allowed to have contact and even be together in public, he is only not allowed to come within 500ft of my work or residence.

I talked to my husband and he went down to the courthouse for the pre-trial hearing today. He talked to the prosecutor and she offered him a plea agreement. He plead no-contest, paid a $500 fine, and took a deferred sentence. After 180 days if he doesn't get any tickets the charge goes away like it never happened. So now all I have to do is work on getting the order of protection lifted. I am heading back down to the courthouse now to see if I can pick up some kind of Affidavit to lift the order of protection. Not what we had hoped for, but since my husband has never in his life gotten a ticket before all this, he feels it shouldn't be a problem going another 180 days without getting any kind of tickets.
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army judge said:
You're being naughty, funny, but naughty.

Santa could be watching you. :)
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Perhaps. I have an Aunt Santa. Is she here?? Nah...

OP is a horrible person that will put the DV Laws back a day or two...Combined with the other horrible people that pull this crap that, as a group, will cause REAL victims to be disregarded.

Personal peeve of mine.
 
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