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i need to know if i have to have concent for my husband to adop my 11 yr daughter

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by 3girls, Mar 23, 2016.

  1. 3girls

    3girls Law Topic Starter Guest

    Jurisdiction:
    Oregon
    i have been with my husband since before my daughter was 1 and we now have 2 daughters together. He is her dad and has been caring for her since we got together and has been wanting to adopt her for a while but not sure how to go about it. Her biologic father has never really been apart of her life. When she was a baby he would about a month r about 4 months give me money order and some dippars for her but that stopped before she was about 9 10 months old and has only seem her about 2 times in that period of time. He is married and has other children and wants nothing to do with her. I want to know if I need his concent to have my husband to adopt her. I dont know where he lives or his number or even know how to get a hold of him and hes not on her birthcerifte
     
  2. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Start with the premise that, yes, you do need his consent.

    From there, there are some limitations and exceptions.

    Read the Oregon statute on adoptions with regard to consent. Start with 109.321 and keep reading the consent sections until you find the answer to your question:

    Chapter 109

    Basically, though, if you can't get consent from the father you have to petition the court to allow it without the father's consent and the father will have to be given an opportunity to respond to that request.
     
  3. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Adoption can be very expensive, time consuming, and frustrating.
    Frankly, madam, your husband and you seem to have made a good life for your family.
    Why waste time, money, effort, and tears when your husband is already her father?
    He doesn't need a piece of paper to be her dad, he and you are already parenting the children.
    Save the money for a family vacation, a college fund for the kids, or a rainy day.

    Your husband has stepped up, becoming your husband, a great dad to all three girls, and I sense the love and respect you have for all that he's done and will do. Just keeping doing the best you can with the love you guys have. Gd bless you all immensely.
     
  4. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    There is still no substitute for having that legal connection, especially if something unfortunate happens to Mom. I would consult with a family law attorney. Step-parent adoption doesn't have to be super expensive, particularly if the bio father agrees.
     
  5. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    I agree with that 100%. I raised my ex wife's kids without the piece of paper from the time they were 8 and 6. They are both in their 40s now and still my kids.
     
  6. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    God bless you.
    We already have people believing they need governmental approval and licensing to marry.

    Society has finally removed the stigma of unwed pregnancies, children born out of wedlock being called "bastards" or "sons of a female canine".

    People have parented children who've lost one or both parents.

    Now we seem to feel the need for a government document authorizing us to love a child.

    This is the same government, mind you, which allows adults to marry 12 or 13 year olds in some states.

    The same government that legitimizes statutory rape, only to replace it with what they called, compassionate "Romeo and Juliet" legalized rape.

    We protect lobsters, trout, and most wildlife deemed to small to harvest, while encouraging the harvest of our children.

    Madness in my view.

    I'll stop ranting now. LOL
     
  7. C-Note

    C-Note Member

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    I disagree! It is not always best to NOT adopt if you have an opportunity to do so. I remember when my parent remarried and I was uncomfortable with the fact my last name was different than my mom and stepdad--especially when they were introduced in the presence of my friends (classmates). That is why, when I married a woman who already had a son, I adopted him, so he wouldn't have to deal with the feelings I had as a kid. It wasn't too expensive and after getting the bio-father's permission (easy because in exchange, he didn't have to pay any more child support), the adoption process took a few months! :)
     

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