Hello,
My husband and I are divorcing after 26 years of marriage. I am 52 and he is 54. He moved out of the house a year ago. He is an independent contractor who does jobs for various governmental and non-profit agencies. I was working full time when we got married, but quit my job to stay home after our second child was born. Up until that time all our benefits, insurance, credit cards had come from and been for paid by me.
We agreed that he would work, provide for the home and family, save for our retirement, etc. and I would stay home, care for the house and raise the kids. Both are now in their early 20's, one in grad school and the other working full time.
While I've been a stay at home Mom, I have had no involvement with paying bills. I also have had no involvement with the finances or the running of his business. We've always banked separately and he would give me funds to put into my account whenever necessary. I used this money to buy clothes, etc. for the kids and myself.
As far as I knew, everything was fine. We took family vacations once a year, were able to have some work done on the house (nothing major) and maintained our vehicles. He was constantly working and even having to turn away some jobs. It all seemed normal, but it wasn't.
The reality of the situation is that we are in debt over $750,000. I became aware of this situation by accident. His attorney cc'd me on an email that she apparently shouldn't have. In this email, which was from her to my husband, she outlined all of the debt and also stated what his proposed settlement is to be with me in the divorce.
I am totally at a loss as to how this debt is possible, especially in light of the fact that he received a large inheritance about 5 years ago (about $300,000). At that time we owed approximately $148,000 on our home. The amount owed on our home today is $391,000, though the house is only valued at $400,000. About two years ago he stopped making payments and defaulted on all of the household (and I assume his business) credit cards. Two of these cards were mine from before our marriage (visa and AmExp) that he had agreed to pay when I quit working. He also stopped paying his quarterly estimates and, according to this email, owes the IRS over $150,000. There were four or five credit cards listed in this email that I am not familiar with and they do not have my name on them. There was also debt for a car that I've never seen.
Now, his proposal for our divorce settlement, according to this email, is that I receive his older pickup, and a small "vacation" house that is located in northern baja (one room structure with no power or running water). I would also be responsible for paying off the Visa and AmExpress (approximately $25,000). He would assume responsibility for paying off all of the remaining debt. He would also get the house, and my two vehicles (a 67 Bronco that I purchased with $10,000 that I inherited) and an F350. I would receive no spousal support, no health insurance and no retirement.
I have tried to find a job, however, I've been out of the job market for about 20 years and so far I've not had any luck. He is still quite busy in his business and makes approximately $15,000 per month.
My question is this:
Can I be held responsible for 50% of this debt even though he is the one who stopped making payments and part of it is directly related to his business? (he did not separate out his personal vs business finances in the 'schedule of assets and debts' form that his attorney sent to me.)
I have a million more questions, but most of them hinge on the answer I receive to the question above. I realize now how foolish I was for trusting him. But how was I to know? It is so illogical to me that he would just decide to stop paying these bills!!
My husband and I are divorcing after 26 years of marriage. I am 52 and he is 54. He moved out of the house a year ago. He is an independent contractor who does jobs for various governmental and non-profit agencies. I was working full time when we got married, but quit my job to stay home after our second child was born. Up until that time all our benefits, insurance, credit cards had come from and been for paid by me.
We agreed that he would work, provide for the home and family, save for our retirement, etc. and I would stay home, care for the house and raise the kids. Both are now in their early 20's, one in grad school and the other working full time.
While I've been a stay at home Mom, I have had no involvement with paying bills. I also have had no involvement with the finances or the running of his business. We've always banked separately and he would give me funds to put into my account whenever necessary. I used this money to buy clothes, etc. for the kids and myself.
As far as I knew, everything was fine. We took family vacations once a year, were able to have some work done on the house (nothing major) and maintained our vehicles. He was constantly working and even having to turn away some jobs. It all seemed normal, but it wasn't.
The reality of the situation is that we are in debt over $750,000. I became aware of this situation by accident. His attorney cc'd me on an email that she apparently shouldn't have. In this email, which was from her to my husband, she outlined all of the debt and also stated what his proposed settlement is to be with me in the divorce.
I am totally at a loss as to how this debt is possible, especially in light of the fact that he received a large inheritance about 5 years ago (about $300,000). At that time we owed approximately $148,000 on our home. The amount owed on our home today is $391,000, though the house is only valued at $400,000. About two years ago he stopped making payments and defaulted on all of the household (and I assume his business) credit cards. Two of these cards were mine from before our marriage (visa and AmExp) that he had agreed to pay when I quit working. He also stopped paying his quarterly estimates and, according to this email, owes the IRS over $150,000. There were four or five credit cards listed in this email that I am not familiar with and they do not have my name on them. There was also debt for a car that I've never seen.
Now, his proposal for our divorce settlement, according to this email, is that I receive his older pickup, and a small "vacation" house that is located in northern baja (one room structure with no power or running water). I would also be responsible for paying off the Visa and AmExpress (approximately $25,000). He would assume responsibility for paying off all of the remaining debt. He would also get the house, and my two vehicles (a 67 Bronco that I purchased with $10,000 that I inherited) and an F350. I would receive no spousal support, no health insurance and no retirement.
I have tried to find a job, however, I've been out of the job market for about 20 years and so far I've not had any luck. He is still quite busy in his business and makes approximately $15,000 per month.
My question is this:
Can I be held responsible for 50% of this debt even though he is the one who stopped making payments and part of it is directly related to his business? (he did not separate out his personal vs business finances in the 'schedule of assets and debts' form that his attorney sent to me.)
I have a million more questions, but most of them hinge on the answer I receive to the question above. I realize now how foolish I was for trusting him. But how was I to know? It is so illogical to me that he would just decide to stop paying these bills!!
