reality based
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- North Carolina
About 2 years ago my granddaughter was hurt; the doctors suspected shaken baby. The exact details have never been discovered, nor was the perpetrator identified. It could have been my daughter (which I doubt), her boyfriend (not the biological father), the babysitter, her boyfriend or family, or God knows who else may have been around. No one admitted anything, the doctors' reports were inconclusive, and no one was criminally prosecuted. Luckily, my granddaughter made a full recovery and there is no known permanent injury.
I was initially given kinship care through CPS (the child's father is dead). My daughter was adjudicated neglectful for "allowing" the injury to occur. CPS tried to work with my daughter for her to regain custody, but right before the case was supposed to be closed the first time, my daughter failed a drug test (marijuana only). CPS gave her a second chance, and although she tested clean for a month or two after the first failed drug test, she failed another test a couple weeks before she was supposed to regain custody the second time (again, marijuana only). CPS stopped working with her, and the court gave me legal custody and converted the case to a Chapter 50 where I am the plaintiff, and she is the defendant (which seems weird - I don't understand the logic behind that). Her lawyer has told her that within a few months she can regain custody through family court.
In all honesty, I don't think she should have custody. I do not believe that she will (or has) abuse my granddaughter, but I do believe that she makes bad decisions, some more serious than others. My understanding is that, because she has been adjudicated neglectful, the "parental superior rights doctrine" does not apply; instead, the sole consideration would be best interest of the child, and she also would have to show a "significant change in circumstance" to amend the current court order. Based on several things - her smoking habits, her diagnoses of mental illness, her somewhat revolving door of sexual relationships (each lasts for several month to a year, but is always quickly replaced), the fact that she has been driving on a suspended license for 3+ years (although she swears that she's going to get that fixed this month), the fact that my granddaughter has lived with me for literally more than half of her life, among others - I'm having a hard time believing that a judge would consider my daughter's custody to be in the best interest of the child, but I guess I really don't know. Conversely, I think my daughter would probably be able to pass a drug test at this point; in fact, she passed the CPS mandated drug tests for over a year before she failed the two tests in the months before CPS closed the case; although she definitely likes to smoke pot, I don't think she has a "drug problem" per se. Having said that, I also can't explain why she chose to smoke pot when she did, knowing that CPS was still testing her. I honestly think she just thought it was not a big deal....but now she knows it was.
I know for sure that she is planning on asking the family court for custody sooner than later. I want to fight it, but I also am wary of doing so because it would really make her mad and, if she wins, I know she would restrict my access to my granddaughter, which would hurt both my granddaughter and me (before CPS got involved, she frequently threatened my ability to see my granddaughter whenever she got mad at me, for real or imagined reasons). My current relationship with my daughter is strained but amicable, mostly because I bite my tongue a lot.
So, based on the above, I have a few questions: Am I correct about the considerations the judge will use in determining custody? If so, what would constitute a "significant change in circumstance"? Would passing a drug test (or a series of drug tests) alone qualify? And if so, is this is something I should fight, and have a reasonable hope to win? Is there anything I should be doing in the meantime to increase my chances? Is there anything I am missing here?
I was initially given kinship care through CPS (the child's father is dead). My daughter was adjudicated neglectful for "allowing" the injury to occur. CPS tried to work with my daughter for her to regain custody, but right before the case was supposed to be closed the first time, my daughter failed a drug test (marijuana only). CPS gave her a second chance, and although she tested clean for a month or two after the first failed drug test, she failed another test a couple weeks before she was supposed to regain custody the second time (again, marijuana only). CPS stopped working with her, and the court gave me legal custody and converted the case to a Chapter 50 where I am the plaintiff, and she is the defendant (which seems weird - I don't understand the logic behind that). Her lawyer has told her that within a few months she can regain custody through family court.
In all honesty, I don't think she should have custody. I do not believe that she will (or has) abuse my granddaughter, but I do believe that she makes bad decisions, some more serious than others. My understanding is that, because she has been adjudicated neglectful, the "parental superior rights doctrine" does not apply; instead, the sole consideration would be best interest of the child, and she also would have to show a "significant change in circumstance" to amend the current court order. Based on several things - her smoking habits, her diagnoses of mental illness, her somewhat revolving door of sexual relationships (each lasts for several month to a year, but is always quickly replaced), the fact that she has been driving on a suspended license for 3+ years (although she swears that she's going to get that fixed this month), the fact that my granddaughter has lived with me for literally more than half of her life, among others - I'm having a hard time believing that a judge would consider my daughter's custody to be in the best interest of the child, but I guess I really don't know. Conversely, I think my daughter would probably be able to pass a drug test at this point; in fact, she passed the CPS mandated drug tests for over a year before she failed the two tests in the months before CPS closed the case; although she definitely likes to smoke pot, I don't think she has a "drug problem" per se. Having said that, I also can't explain why she chose to smoke pot when she did, knowing that CPS was still testing her. I honestly think she just thought it was not a big deal....but now she knows it was.
I know for sure that she is planning on asking the family court for custody sooner than later. I want to fight it, but I also am wary of doing so because it would really make her mad and, if she wins, I know she would restrict my access to my granddaughter, which would hurt both my granddaughter and me (before CPS got involved, she frequently threatened my ability to see my granddaughter whenever she got mad at me, for real or imagined reasons). My current relationship with my daughter is strained but amicable, mostly because I bite my tongue a lot.
So, based on the above, I have a few questions: Am I correct about the considerations the judge will use in determining custody? If so, what would constitute a "significant change in circumstance"? Would passing a drug test (or a series of drug tests) alone qualify? And if so, is this is something I should fight, and have a reasonable hope to win? Is there anything I should be doing in the meantime to increase my chances? Is there anything I am missing here?
