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Husband was thinking of signing his rights away, will he still pay childsupport

Discussion in 'Child Support' started by lincey23, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    My husband has been battling his ex for three years in court. He is now $16,000 in debt with his attorney, who said they wont help him now until they get full payment. She takes us to court every time we get a new court order and she don't like something in it, we cant afford financially to keep fighting her. She will never give up.
    Well he was wondering, if he signed his rights away, that is what she has wanted since the beginning, will he still have to pay child support. She is remarried and claims she wants him to adopt them.
    She has the kids so brain washed, they dont wan to come see us, they dont call him dad, they call their stepdad dad and they told us the other day they hate my husband and all of his family and they hate coming to visits. We dont want to force them to do visits if they dont want to be there, but we dont want to pay $753 a month for two kids we never get to see either.
    But we heard she may have lost her job, we aren't sure, and if that's the case, she might not want him to adopt them now, if she knows she will still get his child support if he relinquishes his rights.
    We were wondering if he will still have to pay child support on them? All of us live in Nebraska.
     
  2. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    The ONLY way Dad will be allowed to terminate his rights/obligations is if Mom's husband agrees to adopt the children. However, this does not wipe the slate clean in regards to child support arrears that may be/are owed.
     
  3. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He is ahead of his child support, she has told him since the beginning to walk away so her now huband (husband number 3) can adopt them. we have fought her for three years on this.
    Does the stepdad have to sign something stating he wants to adopt them when he fills out paperwork to relinquish his rights?
     
  4. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    The ONLY way it's going to happen is if Mom decides she wants Hubby to adopt; Dad cannot do anything about his rights/obligations until then.

    Oh, child support is not a paid ticket to see one's children. If your husband truly wants to see his children, he should be filing to have the court deem Mom in contempt of the orders; otherwise, he's not very interested, is he?
     
  5. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    One doesn't get to sign away his or her parental rights because they think child support has become to burdensome.

    It isn't that easy.

    Even IF he achieved the desired outcome (ridding himself of the title of father), his financial obligation won't be absolved.

    In fact, a successful bankruptcy filing couldn't get those alleged child support debts DISCHARGED.

    All he can do is find a way to pay the debt, keep he debt current, and look forward to the children becoming adults.

    His problem will impact you, as long as you remain married to him.
     
  6. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Also, he can not just decide to waive his rights to the children to get out of paying support. You don't say what his agreement says about visitation, but he can request it if he wants to see the kids. It is up to him to build a relationship with the children. One does not pay child support in order to see the kids. Those are two separate things. If he does relinquish his rights, support stops. It does not erase what is already owed, but going forward it would stop. He really needs to think long and hard whether he wants to legally sever his ties and rights to these children for good. He has no say in what happens to them. He should also think long and hard about what that might do to the children. Being rejected by a parent can take its toll, even if they say that is what they want when they are young. I'm not saying the stepdad can't adopt them and raise them well, but once done, it can not be undone. Should mom and stepdad part, it would be stepdad who would get visitation or custody.
     
  7. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He isnt wanting to sign away because of the child support, he is tired of fighting his ex over everything. We cant afford to keep fighting in court. he has always paid his child support on time. She wants her new husband to adopt them, so we were wondering if he was still going to have to pay the child support if he adopted them. The kids arent happy being tossed back and forth from home to home. The debt isnt his child support it is to his attorney for fighting her in court, he is paid ahead on his child support. He has always paid his child support, medical expenses and daycare expenses. That's why we are being on paying the attorney.
     
  8. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    yes we have went over this every way possible. She puts things in their heads, these kids have had more counseling then any adult I know, She makes them lie to us for her. She is hurting the kids just to get back at my husband.. The only way we think they will turn out decent is if my husbands not in the picture, she then wouldnt' be pushing them to lie to everyone about everything and keep making them going to counseling three times a month..
    Believe me this is the hardest decision my husband has ever had to make, he loves those kids more than anything but he wants to see them happy not miserable. We hope when they turn 18 that he can have a chance to sit down with them and explain the reasoning behind all of this. His ex's older two kids didnt have a relationship with their father until after they were out of their moms house too. So he is hoping it will be the same case, if not, then that is something he will have to live with.
    This is not something we have came up with over night, this had been three years in the making. The kids are 12 and 7 years old. They no its not right to lie, but they do it for her and she is ruining them making them think that is normal.
     
  9. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Once his rights are terminated, he stops owing. It isn't something HE files for. SHE files to begin the adoption process. Legal battles have an end. She is paying every time it goes to court as well. It does not matter how many times she marries. These are his kids and a divorce does not change that. I have no idea what she has filed for over the past 3 years. You do not say.
     
  10. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    we have been in and out of court more times than I can remember in three years, saying 12 times might be less than the actual number, We have tried getting her in contempt, she weasels out each time. WE CANT AFFORD TO KEEP FIGHTING IN COURT, WE DONT HAVE THE MONEY.
     
  11. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    he has supervised visits, if we get a court order stating visits are thursdays, she takes us back to court to change it to wednesdays, she dont want the visits to go past 8 hours on saturday and 8 hours on sunday, so she has the counselor write up something stating that she dont think they should increase in time. She dont like who is at the visits so she takes us to court over that. There are so many different things she has had us in court for it is ridiculous. We cant afford to keep fighting her in court. There was a court hearing on December 17th we were not notified by the court or by my husbands attorney or her attorney of such hearing, so we looked like idiots because we werent in court to represent ourselves. Its never ending with her.
     
  12. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Sounds more like he needs to be talking to the counselor and maybe doing joint counseling with the kids, not washing his hands of them. I fail to see the logic in giving up rights to children so they can be raised by someone who teaches them to lie and manipulates them, if that is indeed what is happening. But that is on him. These are not very young children. Presumably they were raised by him until 3 years ago. Waiting 11 years and hoping the kid will want anything to do with him doesn't sound like a realistic plan.
     
  13. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Why are his visits supervised? That sends up some red flags right there.
     
  14. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He does do that, he has counseling sessions with them once a month. He pays the counseling bill also. He has tried anything possible, but when the counselor is in her pocket so its hard to get her to help my husband.
     
  15. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Because he is a felon, he did his time for a crime that had nothing to do with his kids. That is why he has supervised visits.
     
  16. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Past felonies totally unrelated to the kids should not result in supervised visits. Best would have been mediation where they hammered out an agreement that spelled out days and times of visitation, who can supervise, etc. If they could not agree and left it to the court, there would have to be a reason to modify it. A change in work schedule might require a change in days.
     
  17. lincey23

    lincey23 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    he has to register, he got caught up in an online sting operation, so he has to register, that is why he has supervised visits.
     
  18. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    So he is a sex offender?
     
  19. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If the stepfather adopts his children, YES, his future support obligations will end.
    He will still owe all past and unpaid support obligations.
    If an adoption is successful, it can take anywhere from nine to eighteen months, give or take.
     
  20. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    I suppose that is the way he tells it.
    I can tell you as a lawyer, former prosecutor, defense attorney, and judge; no one gets stung in a sting unless that someone is doing something affirmative to get himself or herself caught.
    Bottom line, no one eats just one peanut, and no one gets stung because of a mistake!!!

    If he was somehow bamboozled, tricked, or bullied into taking a PLEA BARGAIN, its far too late now to complain about things that happened way back when.

    He's stuck forever with the deal he took.
     

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