Dark Storm

New Member
Jurisdiction
Pennsylvania
I've been separated from my husband for 7 years. I live in NJ. We haven't started divorce proceedings yet but I'm curious about this situation; my soon to be ex purchased a house in PA two years ago in, as far as I know, his name only. I don't think his GF is on the deed or mortgage, but who knows.

How does that work now that we're getting divorced? Is it considered marital property because the house was purchased while we are still married?

I've been married for 35 years, including the 7 years separated. We have had two residences which he stopped paying the mortgage on, and were foreclosed upon, if that means anything.

Also, regarding his life insurance. Can we come to an agreement on a percentage that I would get and a percentage goes to his GF gets if he dies? He is able to change the beneficiary without a consent signature from me.
 
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my soon to be ex purchased a house in PA two years ago in, as far as I know, his name only. I don't think his GF is on the deed or mortgage, but who knows.

Easy enough to find out. Just look up his name on the county recorder and/or tax assessor website to see how it's owned.

Is it considered marital property because the house was purchased while we are still married?

Assets obtained during the marriage are marital property. But PA is an "equitable" state which means that assets don't necessarily get divided 50/50.

The court will take a variety of factors into consideration in determining the division of assets.

  • Income and liabilities of each spouse
  • Obligation for spousal support in a previous marriage
  • Duration of the marriage
  • Age and health of each spouse
  • Expected pensions and retirement benefits
  • Each spouse's ability to provide for his or herself
  • Tax consequences of dividing property
  • Any other factor a court may consider to be proper
Pennsylvania Marital Property Laws - FindLaw

I can't say one way or the other how that might play out but I can guarantee you one thing. If you end up litigating issues the only two people that will be happy are the lawyers you each hire, as they redistribute your money into their bank accounts. You could be spending tens of thousands on lawyer fees while fighting over assets for a year or two.

I've been married for 35 years, including the 7 years separated. We have had two residences which he stopped paying the mortgage on, and were foreclosed upon, if that means anything.

I don't know. That would be something to talk to a lawyer about.

Also, regarding his life insurance. Can we come to an agreement on a percentage that I would get and a percentage goes to his GF gets if he dies? He is able to change the beneficiary without a consent signature from me.

Whatever agreement you make (or the court orders) the reality of life insurance is that the onlly way you make sure that it sticks is if he assigns "ownership" of the policy to you and you pay the premiums. That way he has no control over it and can't change it or lapse it.
 
Easy enough to find out. Just look up his name on the county recorder and/or tax assessor website to see how it's owned.



Assets obtained during the marriage are marital property. But PA is an "equitable" state which means that assets don't necessarily get divided 50/50.

The court will take a variety of factors into consideration in determining the division of assets.

  • Income and liabilities of each spouse
  • Obligation for spousal support in a previous marriage
  • Duration of the marriage
  • Age and health of each spouse
  • Expected pensions and retirement benefits
  • Each spouse's ability to provide for his or herself
  • Tax consequences of dividing property
  • Any other factor a court may consider to be proper
Pennsylvania Marital Property Laws - FindLaw

I can't say one way or the other how that might play out but I can guarantee you one thing. If you end up litigating issues the only two people that will be happy are the lawyers you each hire, as they redistribute your money into their bank accounts. You could be spending tens of thousands on lawyer fees while fighting over assets for a year or two.



I don't know. That would be something to talk to a lawyer about.



Whatever agreement you make (or the court orders) the reality of life insurance is that the onlly way you make sure that it sticks is if he assigns "ownership" of the policy to you and you pay the premiums. That way he has no control over it and can't change it or lapse it.

Thank you for your answer.
My husband wants to do an uncontested divorce. I'm trying to find a pro bono attorney, as I'm on disability and may qualify for one.

I at least want to get advice on the house thing and alimony, which my husband doesn't want to pay. I don't think he can afford it, but he lies like a rug and wants me to feel sorry for him. So I don't know what to do about that.

We got married in NJ, but he now lives in PA. I'm in NJ. What state would the divorce filed?

Regarding the life insurance, he says if he loses, quits or retires from his job, he will no longer have it. Is there a way to make sure that I would get a percentage of whatever life insurance he has? I suppose that would have to be an agreement between the two, but what happens if he fails to add me as a beneficiary and he dies? If it's in the court order, I'd have to file a case, right?
 
My husband wants to do an uncontested divorce. I'm trying to find a pro bono attorney, as I'm on disability and may qualify for one.

Make appointments with three or four family law attorneys in your vicinity.

The clever lawyer you're seeking will know how to get her/his fees paid by the person you're planning to divorce.
 
How does that work now that we're getting divorced? Is it considered marital property because the house was purchased while we are still married?

If you " haven't started divorce proceedings yet," what does "now that we're getting divorced" mean?

In any event, the answer may depend on whether the divorce takes place in NJ or PA (or some other state). However, in equitable division states (which both NJ and PA are), all property acquired during the marriage is potentially subject to division in a divorce. However, courts have WIDE latitude to divide property in a manner that appears equitable under all circumstances. Given that your husband apparently acquired this new home LONG after you separated, and given that he probably has VERY little equity in the property after only two years, chances are the court will simply allocate his new home to him. Once you hire a divorce attorney, he or she will explain this in more detail.

Also, regarding his life insurance. Can we come to an agreement on a percentage that I would get and a percentage goes to his GF gets if he dies?

No one here will have the slightest clue what sorts of agreements might be possible between the two of you.

I at least want to get advice on the house thing and alimony, which my husband doesn't want to pay.

You've been separated for seven years and apparently living without any sort of financial support from him. That may work against you in a fight over alimony.

Regarding the life insurance, he says if he loses, quits or retires from his job, he will no longer have it. Is there a way to make sure that I would get a percentage of whatever life insurance he has?

It is not uncommon for a divorce court to order the payor of alimony or child support to obtain and maintain life insurance that names the payee as beneficiary.

what happens if he fails to add me as a beneficiary and he dies?

Then you'll have no life insurance benefit and would have to sue his estate for breach of the divorce decree.
 
'm trying to find a pro bono attorney, as I'm on disability and may qualify for one.

Here are some resources to check:

New Jersey Divorce Legal Aid & Pro Bono Services - Justia Lawyer Directory

alimony, which my husband doesn't want to pay.

No surprise there. Though, after 7 years on your own, he might not have to.

I don't think he can afford it,

That's one factor that might eliminate alimony.

I don't know what to do about that.

You can ask for alimony and the court will decide.

We got married in NJ, but he now lives in PA. I'm in NJ. What state would the divorce filed?

Whoever files the petition files in his or her own state of residence. Though I suppose filing in the respondent's state is an option if there is good reason to.

Regarding the life insurance, he says if he loses, quits or retires from his job, he will no longer have it.

That's true if it's group life provided by his employer.

Is there a way to make sure that I would get a percentage of whatever life insurance he has? I suppose that would have to be an agreement between the two, but what happens if he fails to add me as a beneficiary and he dies? If it's in the court order, I'd have to file a case, right?

Sure, but you'd be filing against his estate or against his life insurance company. Either way you aren't likely to get a free attorney and litigation could cost thousands that you don't get back.

Repeating what I said earlier, the best way to be sure about it is to have a policy on him, ownership assigned to you, premium paid by you for whatever the duration is. A level term policy for x number of years could be a cheap enough way to accomplish it.
 
given that he probably has VERY little equity in the property after only two years,

Real estate prices have increased considerably in the past two years.

Dark Storm would be wise to get a market analysis to see if there is enough equity to be worth pursuing.

Still might not get any of it.
 
Thank you all so much for your insight and answers. They give me a starting point and a lot to think about.

I'll definitely look into whether it's in my best interest to file in NJ or if he should file in PA, and get more info on his house. I do know that he bought it for $240000, and it's now worth $320000. But if I go off of his past, he'll probably end up in foreclosure again. He is, after all, behind in his mortgage payments.

Thank you again. I didn't expect to get this many answers so quickly!
 
Thank you all so much for your insight and answers. They give me a starting point and a lot to think about.

I'll definitely look into whether it's in my best interest to file in NJ or if he should file in PA, and get more info on his house. I do know that he bought it for $240000, and it's now worth $320000. But if I go off of his past, he'll probably end up in foreclosure again. He is, after all, behind in his mortgage payments.

Thank you again. I didn't expect to get this many answers so quickly!

Why are you so focused on the house. It's not yours and the fact that you feel that you are somehow entitled to any portion of it is baffling to me. Ok, not "baffling" - you're money hungry...I get it.
 
I'll definitely look into whether it's in my best interest to file in NJ or if he should file in PA, and get more info on his house. I do know that he bought it for $240000, and it's now worth $320000. But if I go off of his past, he'll probably end up in foreclosure again. He is, after all, behind in his mortgage payments.

Reality check.

You ask for half the equity. He says no.
You ask for alimony. He says no.
You ask for anything else. He says no.

You spend thousands on a lawyer, pro bono isn't likely to happen, and litigate for a year or so.

Worst case scenario the court says "you're divorced, you keep what you have, you get nothing else, goodbye." You've spent thousands making your lawyer happy.

Second worst case scenario. You get awarded half the equity. He doesn't have the money so he doesn't pay. You get awarded alimony. He doesn't have the money so he doesn't pay.

Sure, the debt will be on record but you'll never see a penny of it.

I wouldn't count on the life insurance deal either.

NJ has a DIY divorce guide will forms and instructions.

Divorce in New Jersey: A Self-Help Guide (lsnj.org)
 
Why are you so focused on the house. It's not yours and the fact that you feel that you are somehow entitled to any portion of it is baffling to me. Ok, not "baffling" - you're money hungry...I get it.

A word of advice; don't assume anything. I understand you're only going by what is typed here, but judging me isn't helping anyone. So no, you don't "get it".

I'm not money hungry. He went through every cent of our stocks, savings, inheritances over the last 35 years & put it into his failing business so he'd look successful, almost got me arrested with a bank scam (that I didn't even know about), and pretty much scammed me out of my inheritance from my mom because I took pity on him and believed him. All the while he was living a double life. You have no idea what this man put me though. (wow, that sounds so cliché, but it's true)

I'm more concerned about having something to fall back on if I get sick. I'm 59 years old and have nothing because of him.

I really don't care about his house, but he seems to think his gf should get it. I don't want the stupid house, I just want what is rightfully mine. Trust me, I know I'm not getting a pay day. I just want some security. And I'm not even talking about while he's alive! I'm saying, if anything should happen to him, I want to make sure that after 35 years, I'd have something to fall back on.
 
Reality check.

You ask for half the equity. He says no.
You ask for alimony. He says no.
You ask for anything else. He says no.

You spend thousands on a lawyer, pro bono isn't likely to happen, and litigate for a year or so.

Worst case scenario the court says "you're divorced, you keep what you have, you get nothing else, goodbye." You've spent thousands making your lawyer happy.

Second worst case scenario. You get awarded half the equity. He doesn't have the money so he doesn't pay. You get awarded alimony. He doesn't have the money so he doesn't pay.

Sure, the debt will be on record but you'll never see a penny of it.

I wouldn't count on the life insurance deal either.

NJ has a DIY divorce guide will forms and instructions.

Divorce in New Jersey: A Self-Help Guide (lsnj.org)


adjusterjack

If we come to an agreement on the life insurance, is that agreement binding? He wants to do the divorce himself/myself.

I'm unclear on how that would work. Do I file in NJ and he in PA?
 
If we come to an agreement on the life insurance, is that agreement binding?

This is the third time I'm writing this. You will need to OWN the policy on his life and pay the premiums. If you don't do that the agreement is meaningless if the policy lapses with or without action on his part. Call a local life insurance agent for rates. Or use the following site to get an idea of cost. It's based on a minimum of $100k but if you want $50k or $25k just divide the results accordingly.

Agreements are certainly binding but, as a practical matter, they are often unenforceable. If you rely on his employee insurance and he quits, retires, or changes jobs, he might not get insurance anymore. And as he gets older the cost will be higher and he could develop medical conditions that make him uninsurable. Then what do you do? Sue him? Spend thousands on litigating something likely beyond his control?

Do I file in NJ and he in PA?

No. You pick one state and one of you files the petition and serves it on the other. Read the self help guide for NJ that I posted earlier.

Here's the site for PA:

Divorce Proceedings | Representing Yourself | Learn | Unified Judicial System of Pennsylvania (pacourts.us)

Both of you should read both sites and decide which state is easier to use.
 
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