how can my husband adopt my daughter?

[jennafish83]

My daughter's father and I were never married but he is on her birth certificate and has joint legal custody. Last we knew he was living at the rescue mission (homeless) and have not had any contact with him in over a year. My soon to be husband wants to adopt her after we are married. How do I go about this when I have no idea where he is? I know he is working again as I am finally receiving child support for the first time in over 3 years. I have tried to file abandonment paper against him but he has to be formally served and I have no clue where he is and child support can not tell me due to privacy laws... He is a known drug addict and thief who is in and out of jail, my fear is by trying to contact him he will then again be in our lives, my daughter is finally a normal 8 year old with a positive male role model in her life. I find it hard to believe that these so callled fathers have the right to all of a sudden re appear in a childs life not because they want to but because you had to hunt them down to find them and ask permission? He didnt have to ask to abandon her... ugh anyways this all makes me sick... How else do I try and locate him? Ive tried social networks and only get hear say, none of his family will speak to me and i have no address or employer info??

 

[army judge]

My daughter's father and I were never married but he is on her birth certificate and has joint legal custody. Last we knew he was living at the rescue mission (homeless) and have not had any contact with him in over a year. My soon to be husband wants to adopt her after we are married. How do I go about this when I have no idea where he is? I know he is working again as I am finally receiving child support for the first time in over 3 years. I have tried to file abandonment paper against him but he has to be formally served and I have no clue where he is and child support can not tell me due to privacy laws... He is a known drug addict and thief who is in and out of jail, my fear is by trying to contact him he will then again be in our lives, my daughter is finally a normal 8 year old with a positive male role model in her life. I find it hard to believe that these so callled fathers have the right to all of a sudden re appear in a childs life not because they want to but because you had to hunt them down to find them and ask permission? He didnt have to ask to abandon her... ugh anyways this all makes me sick... How else do I try and locate him? Ive tried social networks and only get hear say, none of his family will speak to me and i have no address or employer info??

I suggest you discuss the issue of adoption, and its attendant difficulties in your case with a local family law attorney.

Even if you knew where he was, an adoption is far more difficult than completing a form and asking for legal relief.

Talk to a couple local attorneys and see what they say.

You can also meet with a private investigator.

A good PI has legitimate ways of finding MOST people.

 

[Proserpina]

My daughter's father and I were never married but he is on her birth certificate and has joint legal custody. Last we knew he was living at the rescue mission (homeless) and have not had any contact with him in over a year. My soon to be husband wants to adopt her after we are married. How do I go about this when I have no idea where he is? I know he is working again as I am finally receiving child support for the first time in over 3 years. I have tried to file abandonment paper against him but he has to be formally served and I have no clue where he is and child support can not tell me due to privacy laws... He is a known drug addict and thief who is in and out of jail, my fear is by trying to contact him he will then again be in our lives, my daughter is finally a normal 8 year old with a positive male role model in her life. I find it hard to believe that these so callled fathers have the right to all of a sudden re appear in a childs life not because they want to but because you had to hunt them down to find them and ask permission? He didnt have to ask to abandon her... ugh anyways this all makes me sick... How else do I try and locate him? Ive tried social networks and only get hear say, none of his family will speak to me and i have no address or employer info??

You're receiving child support which is, in NY, generally considered "contact" - this rules out abandonment.

In this situation you can't afford to NOT have an attorney.

Dad is arguably missing, but he IS paying child support. Trying to do an adoption without his knowledge or his consent can backfire tremendously.