HELP! My ex wife is smoking pot with my 13 year old

V

Vann

New Member
Jurisdiction
Oregon
What are the right steps to take to keep my kid safe and get my ex wife to have to stop smoking with my kid? I saw my kid stoned out of his mind the other day on a video chat but I get my kid in a couple weeks. Is there something I can do at family law to make my kid get UA'ed every month once my kid goes home to my ex wife? What is my best option legally without getting CPS involved preferably?
 
Vann said:
What are the right steps to take to keep my kid safe and get my ex wife to have to stop smoking with my kid?
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If you RECORDED the alleged video, you could share it with your state's child protection agency, and/or the law enforcement agency where the child resides.

Even without a video to buttress what you witnessed, maybe child services or law enforcement can investigate the matter by drug testing the child and mother.

Bottom line, share what you witnessed with law enforcement or child protection.
 
army judge said:
If you RECORDED the alleged video, you could share it with your state's child protection agency, and/or the law enforcement agency where the child resides.

Even without a video to buttress what you witnessed, maybe child services or law enforcement can investigate the matter by drug testing the child and mother.

Bottom line, share what you witnessed with law enforcement or child protection.
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I have a few screenshots that were taken but I worry they could assume it was just in the middle of a blink. I'm really trying not to get CPS involved because I don't want to scar my kid any further. Is there a way to get my kid mandatory UAs once a month at a DHS office or something but not get my kid taken away? My kid and my ex wife are extremely attached to each other emotionally and I wouldn't want to put my kid through that if I can help it.
 
Vann said:
I have a few screenshots that were taken but I worry they could assume it was just in the middle of a blink. I'm really trying not to get CPS involved because I don't want to scar my kid any further. Is there a way to get my kid mandatory UAs once a month at a DHS office or something but not get my kid taken away? My kid and my ex wife are extremely attached to each other emotionally and I wouldn't want to put my kid through that if I can help it.
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Hmmm, if it were my child, I'd do anything and everything to make sure he/she were in a safe environment.

Your reluctance to do what common sense reveals is surprising.

According to your revelations, your child is in danger by staying with his apparently dope addicted mother.

You seem to be a more sane and safe choice to ensure he, too, doesn't become a dope addict.

Good luck.
 
Vann said:
What are the right steps to take to keep my kid safe and get my ex wife to have to stop smoking with my kid? I saw my kid stoned out of his mind the other day on a video chat but I get my kid in a couple weeks. Is there something I can do at family law to make my kid get UA'ed every month once my kid goes home to my ex wife? What is my best option legally without getting CPS involved preferably?
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If I had proof that my child's other parent (or any adult or any kid even) was doing drugs with her, I'd report it. I get it that CPS can be corrupt and sometimes cause more issues - but you're not likely to get any help for your kid without them being involved I would bet.
 
Vann said:
I have a few screenshots that were taken but I worry they could assume it was just in the middle of a blink. I'm really trying not to get CPS involved because I don't want to scar my kid any further. Is there a way to get my kid mandatory UAs once a month at a DHS office or something but not get my kid taken away? My kid and my ex wife are extremely attached to each other emotionally and I wouldn't want to put my kid through that if I can help it.
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So you'd rather your kid continue to smoke weed at 13 with their parent? Do you not think that's going to cause any emotional trauma? What happens if the kid takes it to school and gets caught - and then the police get involved? You don't think that will cause trauma?

It sounds like your ex is abusing your child honestly - I'd definitely call a parent doing drugs with their kid child abuse.

How do you think you'd get DHS to do monthly UAs but not have them involved with a case worker? C'mon. Be realistic about this.
 
The OP's got ONE instance of what he thinks is a stoned kid talking to him. You want to know the last time I could hardly keep my eyes open during a conversation? Last night at about 11:30 pm.
 
Zigner said:
The OP's got ONE instance of what he thinks is a stoned kid talking to him. You want to know the last time I could hardly keep my eyes open during a conversation? Last night at about 11:30 pm.
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I'd rather be safe than sorry. I know of parents who have done drugs with their kids, from weed to meth.
 
Vann said:
What are the right steps to take to keep my kid safe and get my ex wife to have to stop smoking with my kid? I saw my kid stoned out of his mind the other day on a video chat but I get my kid in a couple weeks. Is there something I can do at family law to make my kid get UA'ed every month once my kid goes home to my ex wife? What is my best option legally without getting CPS involved preferably?
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How do you know your child was stoned? And why would you assume your ex was smoking pot with him if he was, indeed, high?
 
leslie82 said:
I'd rather be safe than sorry. I know of parents who have done drugs with their kids, from weed to meth.
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Wow, I honestly expected you to come back and correct me by telling me that this one instance wasn't the only time you've seen this. You really do have nothing here.
 
Zigner said:
Wow, I honestly expected you to come back and correct me by telling me that this one instance wasn't the only time you've seen this. You really do have nothing here.
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I have nothing here? What does that even mean? I'm just saying there are parents who do drugs with their kids. Someone I went to school with their dad smoked weed with them starting when they were 11. I know someone else who did meth with their then 16 year old and admitted it in a voice message to the other parent. So it does happen. Did it happen here? I don't know. But I simply said I know it happens there are shitty parents out there.

Oh I see you thought I was the OP - nope. Definitely not.
 
leslie82 said:
I have nothing here? What does that even mean? I'm just saying there are parents who do drugs with their kids. Someone I went to school with their dad smoked weed with them starting when they were 11. I know someone else who did meth with their then 16 year old and admitted it in a voice message to the other parent. So it does happen. Did it happen here? I don't know. But I simply said I know it happens there are shitty parents out there.

Oh I see you thought I was the OP - nope. Definitely not.
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Yep, sorry about that. In the context of your post, it makes sense. Had that response come from the OP, I think my reply was appropriate. The OP (apparently) has nothing but droopy eyes in a single video.
 

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