Help, Mom wants custody for money

[mrsjanson]

My jurisdiction is: Pennsylvania, USA

My husband has two daughters by a previous marriage. They have lived with their paternal grandmother for five years. That was the verbal agreement between him and his ex. The grandmother and the girls live in the same trailer park as the mother and her new husband. Now the ex filed custody papers stating she has had the girls for five years now and basically my husband has abandoned them. The reason he left is because she was having an affair. We send his mom money and we send gifts and we go up there every chance we get, we live six hours away. My husband asked his ex why she was doing this and she said because her and her husband's hours have been cut back, and that her car is paid for, she just needs money for rent. She also said she is scared now and wished she could cancel the court date. For the past five years she has claimed them on her taxes and have received food stamps for them. We have wanted the girls to live with us, but my husband didn't want his daughters to have to go through a court battle. We want whats best for them, but we don't want them to be used just for a rent check and still be living with their grandmother. We also believe that the new husband has a prior drug record. Will her lying count against her? And is there a chance that if we fight we will get the girls.

 

[Duranie]

Your husband should have fought long before now. Mom is entitled to custody if the courts give it to her. Your husband could have been paying child support all this time to the grandmother if she would have filed for it. Since mom technically had legal custody she had the right to claim the kids on taxes. Again this is something your husband should have gone to court for. Now it seems like he wants custody just to get out of paying child support. If he wants custody he needs to go to court and ask for it and prove it is in the childrens best interest. He needs solid proof of step-dad criminal record for it to hold any weight in court if any at all.

 

[motheringa]

Just becuase you are a bitter step-mom whose husband obviously doesn't want to pay child support either don't take it out on me. If your husband thought that the children were better off with him then he would have done what was right for them a long time ago instead of leaving them to be raised by their grandmother in a trailer park.

 

[mrsjanson]

He has been paying his mom every week for the past five years. We was going to take them when we got married, but his mom said she would never talk to us again. No one has legal custody of the children. The whole situation is strange. I could care less about paying child support, I just don't want to be paying his ex, but the kids still live with their grandmother. Because if they live with their grandmother, then the grandmother is entitled to the support.

 

[WhirledPeas]

If the ex is on assistance, the state will want him to "repay" them for the assistance she's received for the kids and will come after him with a vengeance if he's found to owe back support. The only way that would happen is if your MIL lied about having the kids all this time, which might happen since her ex-DIL faces fraud charges for lying to state officials.

Why does your husband want to take custody at this point?

 

[mrsjanson]

My husband is a man of his word, and since he made the agreement with his ex about them staying with his mom he was fine with that he just didn't want the children to live with his ex. The ex has never really been a mom, im not just saying this to be bitter, but the kids were either with their dad or their grandparents when they were married. He wants them to be living in a environment were he knows they are being taken care of and he just can't trust them living with his ex. wife. And we have been threatened many times that if we took the girls from P.A. they would do everything in their power to make our life misserable, but now that she has started the court process he said he was not going to back down because he loves them and they have a right to have a real family like they have been missing. The ex. told my husband that he should skip the court hearing, now how smart would that be, she is dreaming on that part, because my husband is going to be there with bells on. We have the girls every summer from when school ends until school begins. And not once did their mother call, I always made the girls call her. We know we should of pulled them out a long time ago, but he had an agreement and it worked for five years, but it also hurt him and the kids. My husband and I are not deadbeats, and if we was to get custody we wouldn't ask a dime from the mother, we don't care about money, we want whats best for the kids. My MIL said if the ex tried to take us for back support she would testify because we have been paying her support for five years. The ex has been the one not paying and been claiming them on her taxes.

 

[Duranie]

Because you do not like my response does not make it legally incorrect. Dad is going to have some explaining to do on why it has taken him 5 years to do anything. I a, saying that your comment about mom wanting money is no different than your husband now having an issue with this because mom hasjust now filed for support.

If mom is awarded custody Dad may have to pay some back support too. Dad can fight this but he needs solid proof the kids are better off with him. FYI, you should totally stay out of it and leave this between mom and dad.

 

[Theresagail]

Might I just say that just because someone is a step mom doesnt mean they are not important in a childs life-- My Step mom was more of a mom to me then my mom ever was-- to sit here and down grade a step mom is silly --

 

[ohiogranny]

No-one is putting down step moms. My grandson has a wonderful one. But he only has one mom. Legally. Even if she is the NCP. In a legal sense, and in court, there are only 2 parties here - Mom and Dad. Just reminding you of that fact.

 

[Destiny19692006]

He has been paying his mom every week for the past five years. We was going to take them when we got married, but his mom said she would never talk to us again. No one has legal custody of the children. The whole situation is strange. I could care less about paying child support, I just don't want to be paying his ex, but the kids still live with their grandmother. Because if they live with their grandmother, then the grandmother is entitled to the support.

I am not a attorney, please note.

If dad goes to court, take any and all records with you that shows he has been paying his mom for taking care of the children. That should be proof to show who really has the kids in their care. If you don't have receipts, or copies of the cleared checks, maybe the mother can show proof thru her bank statements of weekly deposits of the same amount showing where he pays her to help out with the children. Just a thought.

 

[irish223]

Might I just say that just because someone is a step mom doesnt mean they are not important in a childs life-- My Step mom was more of a mom to me then my mom ever was-- to sit here and down grade a step mom is silly --

Just to clarify here....

The ONLY person in this thread who downgraded a stepmom was 'motheringa' and her post was a result of a similarly negative post by this OP in motheringa's thread.

None of the other posters mentioned stepmoms in a negative way.

It is outlandish to me that the only post that received a 'thank you' is the one that defends against the post made by another poster involved in an argument with OP. Four other people offered valid LEGAL advice, and not one was appreciated.

 

[philslove]

i agree with you step moms play a big role in a childs life