Help me with my ex's baby momma

[lynzc86]

my husband has sole custody of his 3 kids they live with us and we obtained custody from their mom due to she would leave them at home alone to go clubbing at night also they would have no food in the house, and she never showed up court the day of the trial because she doesn't care about them really. however she got court papers just like us and she knows she is suppost to get them every 1st 3rd and 5th weekends of the months but she will not call to pick them up unless you call and remind her, i don't feel it's my job to beg her to pick up her own kids and we don't even like them to go over there because of the way they are treated and the situations they get put into over there, but god we need adult time also, and when she takes them that is our only break for each other i wanted to know if there is any way to get her parental rights taken away and what are the cercumstances for doing so, if she does get them i always pack her a bag for them with nice clothes and shoes and etc. but she always gripes and i'm tired of her and the kids don't even like going over there the oldest is 10 and he says she sneaks out at night and they are always left with their grandma. our problem is we can never plan things because we never know until fridays if she will call for them, and if she doesn't and we make plans we don't know any babysitters we trust and have no family close by.....please help what can i do with her rights to the kids.....

 

[jacksgal]

First off "you" do nothing! You are a legal stranger in this. Now Dad (not you) can talk to Ex about her willingly giving up her rights. You cannot take them away! If Mother agrees now comes your part. Are you willing to adopt the children? If so this will make the granting of TPR even more likely. Judges do not usually grant TPR's unless there is a Step Parent willing to step in as new parent figure. Now if Mom is unwilling then its not likely this will ever happen

 

[lynzc86]

i meant what can we do (my husband and I) i'm asking this for the sanity of both of us......my husband is tired of the kids heads being filled with crap by her that she calls and we don't answer we are the ones not letting her see tham, which by the way s a total crock of crap!!!! He wanted me to do this to see what he can do because he's tired of having to plan his life around her calls, thats what he left for in the first place was because she was always going out and never there.

 

[jacksgal]

There is no "we" there is only he and Ex. I gave you what to do tell your husband and do it

 

[lynzc86]

are you a bitter ex or what? what is your problem?

 

[jacksgal]

I am helping you this isnt "your" fight. If you get involved its likely things will not go as you wish. This site is filled with step parents trying to meddle in things they have no legal fight in. I am on your side. Here is list of what needs to be done without your involvment. If you place yourself in this or play an active role judge will not look kindly at any requests. Remember I am on your side

1. Dad (not you) ask Mom if she will give up her rights (TPR)

2. If yes then Dad petitions court to do so

2a. If no its over

3. Here is your involvment. Make it known you wish to adopt the child(ren) once the TPR is granted

4. Begin adoption process

You will need an Attorney for this as one mistake can delay or end process. Now if Mom refuses it sover as stated but you can always revisit that issue. Or if Mom proves to be abusive or places children in harms way you might seek a TPR. However again do so through an Attorney

No matter how you take it based on what I have read I am on your side. All information I gave you is for the sole purpose of helping:angel

 

[ohiogranny]

It's not up to either of you to call and remind Mom it's her weekend, but you have to make the kids available for her. I know it's a pain, my son deals with an ex like that (he has custody).

Her visits are her right, but she is not obligated to take them. Maybe Dad could get written into the order (go back to court) that if she does not show up by a certain time at the beginning of her time, she forfeits it.

If dad can prove that the kids are in danger there, he can call CPS to look into it. If he has less urgent concerns, Dad may have to file for a modification of parenting time and ask for a guardian ad litem to speak to, and for, the kids.

Btw...I understand you are a loving stepmom, but Jack was pointing out the LEGAL situation. Judges have no sympathy for steps who have no LEGAL right to the kids and who are not a party to the case.

Mom will not lose her rights unless she has (typically) no contact or support for a year (depends on state law) or if she is convicted of child neglect/abuse. Or, if you all agree to TPR and step-parent adoption. As was pointed out, you'd need an attorney for that.