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Grandparents steal child they left in mothers care for over 8 years.

Discussion in 'Grandparents Rights' started by Madison Orwell, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. Madison Orwell

    Madison Orwell Law Topic Starter New Member

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    This is a bit complicated: I went through a very nasty divorce with my ex on the west coast who could not have children. I had had two children via sperm donor at the time. My ex never wanted children but took the stand that if I wanted them he was not going to object as long as I was the one responsible to care for them. During that divorce he threatened to kill me and take my children out of retaliation for my leaving. I immediate ran and hid for fear of my life in the same state and sent my children to my parents who live 20 hours away in another state as I was not in a position to properly care for them and they willingly agreed to help.

    My ex has used our still pending divorce case to keep tabs on me even though I have effectively found a safe haven.

    During this time I became established once again and my parents returned my children to me even though they had a grandparent custody ruling listing them as guardian. They said they needed to do that to keep my ex from intervening and stealing my children from them. I willing agreed to this for their safety because we had agreed they would return home to me after I was back on my feet.

    But now 8 years after having my 2 oldest children living with me under my sole care in all respects with my 6 additional children we have settled into a farming lifestyle in the Midwest (for these 8 years now) my parents pop in for a visit last fall and say "wouldn't it be nice if your now 13 year old came for a visit for the summer".

    I felt uneasy about it on multiple levels besides he was now situated and settled with me and his siblings in this home we had become established in the Midwest and they lived so far away on the west coast.

    I very reluctantly agreed because my dad said he would come help with some honeydew's I needed tending so that I could have less items pending while my second oldest visited them.

    I agreed to 3 months visit (summer long) since they said they had to save up to get him back to me, even though they were requesting 5-6 months which I could not go along with.

    He was supposed to be brought back when the family reunion took place a couple hours from our home a couple days from now. They have been only allowing him to speak with us on speaker phone he has not been free to speak with us privately starting about a month after he left. They are fanatical Christians that home church and are very cultish and believe I'm going to hell because I have come to reject the lifestyle they brought me up in.

    I am a rather open minded person and felt that my son could gain good life experience not to mention seeing grandpa and step-grandma which he hadn't seen in nearly a decade.

    They argue that because my method of home-school differs from theirs that they are more fitted to raising him and that they are not bringing him back and when I said I would go ahead and come pick him up they said they would not allow me to bring him back home. His older brother, 17 years old (and best friend/confidant) is devastated and wants nothing to do with them now and is trying to help me figure out how we can get him back home with us.

    They claim my 13 year old approached them and begged them to let him stay. My oldest son immediately rejected that idea and said that was completely out of character for him to do that. We are a fit and trim family and they are morbidly obese by doctor assessments. They say because he gained a few pounds and grew an inch after he arrived he was malnourished. Yet refuse to acknowledge a growth spurt since his voice has changed too while he was gone.

    My step mother is very manipulative and controlling and wears the pants and my dad follows her everywhere and does anything she puts him up to.

    I'm so worried she has used my past efforts to save my child to effectively steal him and I wonder if there is any recourse or rights outside of a lengthy court battle that I simply cannot afford being half way across the country.

    I feel like a fool for going against my gut and I feel like I've let me child down by allowing him to be placed in a now very unhealthy and psychologically dangerous situation. My mother made me act and say the same things I hear him saying when I went through a custody situation again my mom as a 12 year old. It has something to do with fantasies of major life change because I just thought everything sucked when I became a teen. Now I see them using his vulnerability to brainwash him and after a summer of theme parks every other week and river trips, karate lessons, volley ball matches and more he's been sucked into a facade of what real life entails which (in my case at least) will be maintained so long as they are working to convince him that life with them is sooo much better.

    Not to mention that my step mother had several miscarriages and always wanted a very large family but only had one child. I was the first to have children so she attached to mine right away. My brothers who had children live close to them but their 5 children combined have learning disabilities, speech impediments and abnormal behavioral issues that my dad has complained to me about. They claim my children are so articulate, smart and creative but as I said due to the fact my ideas of home-school differ from theirs they are using that as justification to step in and take over.

    He's mentioned that he anticipates his older brother, whom he is very bonded with, will be joining him there somehow. At the start of all of this we had friendly discussion of the potential of each of my children visiting for a summer as time went on but he is acting like he expects him to be there soon. My oldest says he has no desire to go now because he knows something is not right and will refuse any such offer. I'm not worried about my oldest but I'm deeply troubled for my boy who was taken they are filling his head with imaginations.

    Additionally they screen calls and have no internet so there is no effective way to communicate with my child without their presence.

    How can I compete with this, they have turned him against us through spoiling him and convincing him that their alternative lifestyle is correct and our alternative lifestyle is wrong. So I'm sure he will agree that he wants to remain with them out of fear of reprisal from them and not wanting to upset his beloved grandparents that he previously stayed with as a very young child not to mention he's had the summer of a lifetime.

    Do I have any legal rights since they established through action that the grandparent custody thing was only actually carried out to preform a temporary solution? I can prove that they turned him over to me for 8 years without objection and are now using their prior order to keep him from us now since they discovered I'm not a professing christian and believe I'm going to hell? They think that they are going against God to allow him to return to us and will be condemning his soul to hell so they will fight tenaciously to prevent his return.

    I'm so scared for his mental well being, it took me decades to overcome the mental religious brainwashing enforced with physical spanking sessions with the 'rod' as it was called, (a long, thick wooden dowel fashioned by my dad from a 2x4) and long religious studies that I endured from them as a child. All of which I was convinced was correct, godly and for my own good at the time. This just kills me that I've allowed this. I admit, I'm live in fear of disappointing them and I just cannot figure out how to say no to them, but this was the tipping point for me and they have effectively destroyed any remaining trust or respect I had thought I could maintain with them and I have no trouble severing all ties with the bunch of them (brothers and their families included) save only my now stolen son.

    I fear this is just another hard lesson learned only this time with the sacrifice of my child.
     
  2. hrforme

    hrforme Active Member

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    was guardianship ever formally given back to you (or taken away from them) during the 8 year period that you have had them back? How long were the two boys with them originally prior to them coming back to you ?
     
  3. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Talk to some lawyers near you, see what you can learn.
    If you want to go to court, get ready to dig deep and come up with some loot.

    This will cost you money.
     
  4. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    Way too many unnecessary details. You are divorced now, correct? You mention your parents had legal guardianship awarded by the court. Was that ever terminated or was the guardianship set up to be for only a fixed period of time?

    If the guardianship hasn't been terminated, file with the court to terminate it. If the guardianship is no longer in place, just go get your kid. Religion is irrelevant here as is your past marriage or how the child was conceived.
     

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