grandparent/mothers father has custody of son

redneckmamma917

New Member
Ok currently my father has custody of my son due to my past mistakes and is now wanting to adopt my son so he can better care for him insurance wise butmy problem with that is one that I dont want to loose my rights and two due to mine and my fathers relationship we dont see eye to eye. We have tried but were to much alike. Since my father has had my son in his custody now for four years I have only spoke/seen my son seven times and my dad does not want me to see my son at all he holds my son over my head like a treat in order for him to get his way and he now wants to adopt him and well all I want is for me to still have the chance to get custody of my son and to see or talk to my son. I am court ordered to pay child support which I am working on getting caught up but I have court coming up soon for the adoption and I have no money for a lawyer and I was just wondering what do I do I've never gone thru this nor have I ever expected my dad to be so harsh to me. Please help me I need advice on what to say and/or do I appreciate it
 
If you've only seen your son 7 times over 4 years, your father actually has a better-than-decent shot at the adoption. For how long was child support not being paid? Where is the other parent?
 
If your son is being protected, loved, educated, fed, nurtured, and raised; why worry?
You can't afford to pay child support, which is much less than raising a child and working.
The child is better off with a person who is doing all the things you've failed at doing.
That's what the court will observe when you attend shortly.
It's time to improve your lot in life, get a steady job, get off of ALL drugs, get a nice place to live, stay away from those shady characters, and leave the child alone.
He's not a puppy or a kitten, he's a human being.
 
When you lost custody and failed to pay support or even see your kid, you lost your right to object to how your father is raising him. If you wanted to influence how your child was being raised, then you should have been the one fully supporting him financially and being fully present in his life. Your father stepped in and has been raising the child with no real help from you for 4 years. You are a virtual stranger who can't even come up with the paltry amount of CS you have been ordered to pay. If you want what is best for this child, let your father adopt him and provide him with some stability.
 
Grandpa having custody absolutely does not equate to the OP having no right to object to Grandpa's parenting. It's the same thing as any shared parenting - neither party has 100% control.
 
Maybe not a legal right but if someone else is raising your kid for you because you can't/won't, complaining about how they do so is disingenuous. Certainly if grandpa adopts the child, the one who gave birth does lose all legal right to complain. Whatever the grandparent is doing is far better than what the one who gave birth has been doing the past several years if the OP can't be bothered to visit or pay support. Legally this may still be your child, but if the grandparent is going for adoption, your only chance to be any part of this kid's life going forward is to make nice with your father. Arguing about he is raising the kid you aren't able to is not going to make him inclined to allow you to participate in the child's life post-adoption. Based on one to two visits a year you can't possibly know what is best for this child.
 
Naturally, adoption will remove any and all rights of the ex-parent. But you said that the parent who doesn't have custody had no rights to complain, which isn't the same thing. I was simply clarifying.

When you lost custody and failed to pay support or even see your kid, you lost your right to object to how your father is raising him. If you wanted to influence how your child was being raised, then you should have been the one fully supporting him financially and being fully present in his life.
 
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