getting rid of a restraining order

[army judge]

PQ, let it go.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
If you disagree with what someone posts, just thank the person, and move on.
I'm sure you want to not let the savage who harmed you control your life.
So, forget him, stay away from him, and take good care of yourself and your baby.
You'll soon have a little life depending on you.
I wish you a speedy and complete recovery.
I also wish you a healthy, happy baby, if you take the fetus to term.

 

[precious queen]

PQ, let it go.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion.
If you disagree with what someone posts, just thank the person, and move on.
I'm sure you want to not let the savage who harmed you control your life.
So, forget him, stay away from him, and take good care of yourself and your baby.
You'll soon have a little life depending on you.
I wish you a speedy and complete recovery.
I also wish you a healthy, happy baby, if you take the fetus to term.

Which is why they're on ignore. I I'll have panic attacks with comments like that and I will never say thank you when I feel disrespected.
There's a lot of reasons why I need the order off. Not just military. My rifle and I would like to make up. It's been a while.
This is going to be my attempt to remedy the situation, if not, I do have other options

 

[army judge]

Which is why they're on ignore. I I'll have panic attacks with comments like that and I will never say thank you when I feel disrespected.
There's a lot of reasons why I need the order off. Not just military. My rifle and I would like to make up. It's been a while.
This is going to be my attempt to remedy the situation, if not, I do have other options

Well, good luck.
I hope things work out for you.
I know how much better I feel when I'm happy, I suspect others feel the same way, too.

 

[leslie82]

Leslie, the comment for dumb advice didn't even have your name on it. I wouldn't call you stupid because I know how hard it is to walk away. Feelings just don't disappear in a second or there could be feelings of being trapped...etc. there's no excuse for HIM. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's not your fault and you shouldnt be blamed. Everyone should be happy that you're okay now. I tried multiple times to get away from him and people would tell him he would come back and choke me till I blacked out or worse.
I have to get this off of me. He gave me two options before the restraining order went up. 1 ) marry him or 2) he'll convince a judge I'm crazy and to give him full custody. He said the baby is his and I can just leave.
I've just been contemplating abortion or adoption.

Well you didn't specify who you were talking to about dumb advice.

People are happy for me now. I never said they weren't.

You obviously didn't try to get away from him if you went to his house with a knife to take a pregnancy test. I'm sorry but that right there is 100% stupid. I never would have done that. I was back with my ex when I found out I was pregnant and it was 2 months after the first dv incident. But if someone, even him, raped me I sure as fuck would never go near them again. I definitely would not want them to know I'm pregnant. If I got pregnant due to rape I'd probably have an abortion.

How far along are you? You better get an abortion asap before you can't. Most clinics, including PP, won't do it after 13 weeks. I know because I took a friend to get an abortion several years ago and where we were stationed, she could only find one clinic to do it when she was at 13 or 14 weeks by the time she got in and she didn't find out until 12 weeks or so.

You can't give the baby up for adoption if you have it if he knows. He will probably file for paternity and if the DNA matches, guess what? He's going to fight for custody of that child. So if you want to avoid that sick pos from raising a child, just get an abortion is what I would do but it's your choice. Just realize adoption won't be so easy if you have it and he finds out and is the father.

He can't give you any options. So wait a minute. He did tell you he was going to file a restraining order. He just didn't tell you when.

Honestly you need to go back to court and figure out how to fight the protection order. Show the judge he contacts you. But you need to block him and his entire family and any of mutual friends from your phone and all social media. Just stay away from them. Don't talk to them. Don't talk to him. You're just feeding into his ego and likely sociopathic tendencies. Just stay away. Or he's going to ruin your life.

 

[leslie82]

Which is why they're on ignore. I I'll have panic attacks with comments like that and I will never say thank you when I feel disrespected.
There's a lot of reasons why I need the order off. Not just military. My rifle and I would like to make up. It's been a while.
This is going to be my attempt to remedy the situation, if not, I do have other options

Your rifle and you want to make up? What? I sure hope that wasn't supposed to say you and your ex (the one who raped you) want to make up.

You have already gotten advice. You are the one who has to make choices. I sure hope you don't go back to that guy or let him near that kid if you have it.

 

[precious queen]

Your rifle and you want to make up? What? I sure hope that wasn't supposed to say you and your ex (the one who raped you) want to make up.

You have already gotten advice. You are the one who has to make choices. I sure hope you don't go back to that guy or let him near that kid if you have it.

No he never told me of the restraining order. I only figured it out when his uncle served me for a second hearing because he had no proof of service.
No, I really do want my rifle back. I haven't been to a shooting range in a while and I'm stressed.
I also hate to break it to you, but I'm not you nor will I actually like you. I also highly doubt that you would be thinking by normally after a rape. I was taught that if a man hits me, pick up my gun and shoot which is why a large number of exes are afraid of me. Obviously rape is a different animal altogether.

 

[leslie82]

No he never told me of the restraining order. I only figured it out when his uncle served me for a second hearing because he had no proof of service.
No, I really do want my rifle back. I haven't been to a shooting range in a while and I'm stressed.
I also hate to break it to you, but I'm not you nor will I actually like you. I also highly doubt that you would be thinking by normally after a rape. I was taught that if a man hits me, pick up my gun and shoot which is why a large number of exes are afraid of me. Obviously rape is a different animal altogether.

Okay sorry it seemed like a typo.

What do you mean "I'm not you nor will I actually like you." I never freaking asked you to "like" me. Yes I would be thinking "Stay the fuck away from the asshole who raped me" if I got raped. I sure as shit would not go over to his house to show him a pregnancy test. In fact, after my ex passed out the first time he hit me, I left his ass in the hotel and went straight to my dad's house. I got a protection order. I stupidly dropped it because I was close to his family, everyone said he was doing better. I didn't want to be awkward and have to leave if he showed up. I was stupid. I didn't plan to get back together with him but then I got pregnant. So I gave him another chance. We moved closer to home. But he was the closer to drugs. Each time he hit me was due to his meth addiction and withdrawals. I finally had enough last year and divorced him. Yeah I gave him another chance after that but I stopped after about March. I only talk to him because we have a child and I bailed him out in March.

Yes I know about how rape affects people. I was a victim advocate in the military for almost 3 years. I had to deal with a lot of cases. I had to be the one to tell the survivors when the case was unsubstantiated and see their face. I had to take them to appointments. To the police station. Be there in their worst moment.

I very highly doubt that a large number of exes are afraid of you. In fact, I almost wonder if you're not making a lot of this up. Maybe not but I'm gathering my suspicions after this comment.

I never said you should be like me or like me as a person. I don't know you. I don't give a shit if you like me at all. I am trying to give you advice and you apparently think you know everything. So you know what go ahead, fuck up your life, your kid's life and when you get raped again, think about how it happened. I don't like to throw out what seems like victim blaming comments but generally most survivors learn their lesson after the first rape and don't go back to their rapist. Yes without a shadow of a doubt if ANYONE raped me you better believe I would NEVER go near that person again. I would call the police. I would make sure they see their day in court and hopefully get locked up. ESPECIALLY after I have seen multiple cases unsubstantiated by civilian police and CID because there wasn't enough physical evidence because someone waited too long to report.

I sure hope you start making some better decisions with your life and really hope you go back to court and fight that order.

And you're never getting in the military if you have that kid unless you sign it over to someone. In all actuality, I would recommend you don't try to enlist.

 

[precious queen]

Okay sorry it seemed like a typo.

What do you mean "I'm not you nor will I actually like you." I never freaking asked you to "like" me. Yes I would be thinking "Stay the fuck away from the asshole who raped me" if I got raped. I sure as shit would not go over to his house to show him a pregnancy test. In fact, after my ex passed out the first time he hit me, I left his ass in the hotel and went straight to my dad's house. I got a protection order. I stupidly dropped it because I was close to his family, everyone said he was doing better. I didn't want to be awkward and have to leave if he showed up. I was stupid. I didn't plan to get back together with him but then I got pregnant. So I gave him another chance. We moved closer to home. But he was the closer to drugs. Each time he hit me was due to his meth addiction and withdrawals. I finally had enough last year and divorced him. Yeah I gave him another chance after that but I stopped after about March. I only talk to him because we have a child and I bailed him out in March.

Yes I know about how rape affects people. I was a victim advocate in the military for almost 3 years. I had to deal with a lot of cases. I had to be the one to tell the survivors when the case was unsubstantiated and see their face. I had to take them to appointments. To the police station. Be there in their worst moment.

I very highly doubt that a large number of exes are afraid of you. In fact, I almost wonder if you're not making a lot of this up. Maybe not but I'm gathering my suspicions after this comment.

I never said you should be like me or like me as a person. I don't know you. I don't give a shit if you like me at all. I am trying to give you advice and you apparently think you know everything. So you know what go ahead, fuck up your life, your kid's life and when you get raped again, think about how it happened. I don't like to throw out what seems like victim blaming comments but generally most survivors learn their lesson after the first rape and don't go back to their rapist. Yes without a shadow of a doubt if ANYONE raped me you better believe I would NEVER go near that person again. I would call the police. I would make sure they see their day in court and hopefully get locked up. ESPECIALLY after I have seen multiple cases unsubstantiated by civilian police and CID because there wasn't enough physical evidence because someone waited too long to report.

I sure hope you start making some better decisions with your life and really hope you go back to court and fight that order.

And you're never getting in the military if you have that kid unless you sign it over to someone. In all actuality, I would recommend you don't try to enlist.

And I think you're all talk. Plus if you were an advocate very stupid and hypocritical. That was a typo. I will never act like you.
Never assume because it makes an ass out of you and me. I honest don't care what you think because you don't know what it looks like on this side of the screen.

 

[precious queen]

And I think you're all talk. Plus if you were an advocate very stupid and hypocritical. That was a typo. I will never act like you.
Never assume because it makes an ass out of you and me. I honest don't care what you think because you don't know what it looks like on this side of the screen.

Do everyone a favor and sick to just law advice because you suck everywhere else.

 

[army judge]

Okay, this thread has served its purpose, closing shop.
Good luck to all, and thanks for contributing to the discussion.