German mother, American father

[lunsford2000]

After getting pregnent, my girlfriend has decided to raise the child alone and is very negative about my involvement. She is a German citizen and will have the baby in Germany. I am a US citizen and don't know what to do. I still want a relationship but she does not.

If she doesn't want me involved I should respect that, but I want to be a good father. Do I have any rights at all? I really want custody if I could. I would move to Germany (I had planned to anyway), but I can make a better living in the U.S. and could provide a good home.

 

[NYClex]

I am sorry to hear that. Hopefully you guys can sort that out.

The legal situation is this: If the baby is born in Germany German law will rule. Under German law custody will be given to the father of a child born out of wedlock only in very exceptional cases if the mother is not agreeing with it.

The German Supreme Court upheld this rule in 2003, so it is very unlikely that you would be given custody.
German Supreme Constitutional Court Decision 1 BvL 20/99 - 1 BvR 933/01

If the mother agrees the unwed father can join custody with her, which usually only is practical when both parents are living together.

It is absolutely unlikely that the father will be granted sole custody.

Nevertheless the father has some rights and obligations under German law. First, there is the obligation: he has to pay child support until the child is either 18 or completed its first vocational education, whatever is later, but never longer than to the child's 27th birthday.

Child support can be set by a court, which usually sets it at the rate suggested by the government. The income of both parents will influence the amount. The non-cash value of the care given by the parent the child is living with will be considered.

Usually child support rate for newborn children is between 200 Euros and 400 Europ per month, that is about $ 240-480 depending on the income of the parent.

The father in this case also has rights: the so called "right of interaction with the child" (Umgangsrecht). The father can meet with the child and do things together with the child. The law expects the parents to come to an agreement about how this right is being put into practice, how many days and how and where. If they cannot agree the parents can call upon the Family Court who will set a rule.

Only the parent who has custody can determine where the child will live.

A non-custodial parent who takes a child abroad against the wishes of the custodial parent will be charged with kidnapping. Germany and the U.S. have a treaty that they will enforce this in their countries and send the child back to his or her custodial parent.


Without being married to a German citizen it is not that easy to get an immigration visa to Germany, if you want to live there. You need to have an employment authorization and a firm job offer.

 

[test03]

I am an American woman with an (ex) German boyfriend. He said he will pay child support but wants nothing to do with me or the child because he has decided that he can't be with me anymore based on a one time fling I confessed about...although he says it is based on all sorts of arguements and problems that we encountered during out 1.5 yr. together. Unfortunately he had given me much love, hope and belief that if I were to become pregnant we would work things out. He was with me when I purchased the pregnancy test and hugged me telling me it would be alright no matter what the results were... well I made the mistake of confessing to the fling (which STUPIDLY I had w/ a man who had always been a threat to him... and to make matters worse during the month that I become pregnant...before knowing I was pregnant=??have to wonder about hormones??) at any rate, I am not perfect and probably will live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I'm in therapy etc. etc. I made a mistake! However, I do not feel it is fair that he is going to have nothing to do with me or the child. It has been breaking my heart for the past month that this all started... and I love him very much.

What I need to know is: What reciprocity do I have as an American citizen with the German government regarding his obligations to help support the child? He said he will pay and this will be arranged through a mediator, however, if he leaves the US, and decides he doesn't want to deal with me or the baby...what can I do legally?

Very sad situation... I wish there were someone out there who could give me some hope.

 

[NYClex]

U.S. court orders for child support are enforceable in Germany, too, due to international treaties both countries have signed. And due to a different way of organizing things there, it is much much more difficult to become a deadbeat dad there, than here.

 

[felixthecat112]

Interesting... what paternal rights does a non-US citizen (visa holder) father have to his child, born to an American citizen mother if the pregnancy has been discovered after splitting up? If they don't want to get back together, I presume the situation described previously with a German father applies in New Zealand, Australia and the UK with respect to alimony? However, what about visitation rights or if the father wants to help raise the child and stay in the US to do so?